DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin seems to put a lot of energy into pyramid schemes. I’ve reached the point where I avoid him because he’s always pushing someone else’s product. Don’t get me wrong -- I’m all for entrepreneurs, but these schemes aren’t even his ideas. They are just get-rich-quick schemes sold to him. Every year, it’s a different story, everything from gold to hemp. He’s a pretty creative guy, and I would like to know how can I push him to come up with his own ideas and invest in himself? -- No More Pyramid Schemes, Detroit

DEAR NO MORE PYRAMID SCHEMES: Do your best to have compassion for your cousin. Yes, he seems to be caught up in what have turned out to be bad ideas, but pyramid schemes do not work for long. Now that you know his M.O., don’t fall prey to him again. Next time he approaches you with something suspicious, immediately express your concerns. Make it known that you do not approve of this idea. Tell him you think any business idea should be vetted by more than your cousin and his boys. Point out that your apprehension should be appealing to him, too, as it may save everybody money.

Suggest to your cousin that if he considers ideas that are not hinged on other people’s dreams without benefit of due diligence to determine their value, he may have a better chance at success.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my colleagues has a habit of not CC'ing me on important emails because he feels threatened about his job. He has been with the company a little longer than I have, but I have no interest in his job. However, I have a feeling the company wants me to be this person’s backup. It makes sense because, should he leave, the company will have no idea what’s going on in that position. How can I make it clear I need the emails and at the same time make this guy comfortable because I have no interest in his job? -- Just Doing My Job, Sausalito, California

DEAR JUST DOING MY JOB: You mention something curious -- if this man leaves, the job information will be missing. Do you or your company believe this man is likely to leave? If that is so, your boss needs to handle this man and his communications carefully.

Be direct with your co-worker. Tell him that you simply want to do your job, and that requires you to have copies of his emails. State clearly that you are not interested in his job. You want to do yours, and you need his participation in order to do so. If he refuses to comply, you will need to let your supervisor know because you could easily miss an important communication that you are supposed to be aware of. If you are to monitor information, you have to have access to all of the data required to do your job. Get your boss to support you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend has been complaining about how his co-worker is always looking for validation. This same friend comes to me on a regular basis looking for validation himself. This dude sends me samples of his work so I can give my “honest opinion.” The work is good, but I’ve had enough. Once in a while, it’s OK, but this has become more and more frequent. How do I explain to him he’s doing the same thing that he’s complaining to me about? -- Enough Validation, San Diego

DEAR ENOUGH VALIDATION: Usually what upsets people in others is exactly what is true about them, though they rarely notice it. In your friend’s case, it is true that most people crave validation. We all want to feel loved, respected and seen. Depending upon our backgrounds, the need for external support can vary dramatically.

A kind way for you to address this situation is to tell your friend that what you know about people, pretty much all people, is that we want to be accepted and respected. Point out that you have noticed that he gets frustrated by the co-worker who constantly wants validation, and you understand that it can get tiring at times. Then gently point out that your friend does the same thing with you. Be prepared to give a couple of examples, as he is likely unconscious of his behavior. Give him space to be embarrassed, but point out that we are all in this thing called life together. We need to give each other some slack and work on being more confident from the inside out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my family members desperately wants to get married but has horrible social skills. Overall, this person is nice and successful; she has a master’s degree and great credit, and she owns her home. But like I said, she has horrible social skills -- she either tries too hard or not at all. I would like to help.

I want to introduce her to someone I’ve dated in the past because I think they would make a great couple. There is a small problem: The woman I dated hints she wants to get back together, but I think only because she wants to get married. I’m definitely not interested. I think these two would be a great couple because they have accomplished similar goals, and both seem to be socially challenged. What are your thoughts about me introducing my ex to a close family member? -- Introducing the Ex, Seattle

DEAR INTRODUCING THE EX: Start with your ex. Be clear that you are not interested in being anything more than friends. Tell her that you have someone you think could be a great partner for her. If she seems interested, make it clear that this is a family member, so you want her to be sensitive to a meeting.

If she seems open to the possibility, speak to your family member and explain that you think your ex might be a great match for them. introduce them only if both of them are open to the idea. Obviously, you should keep your awareness of their social awkwardness to yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a huge argument with my husband because I feel he doesn’t make enough time for me. We’re both working professionals, but we approach our lives and work differently. I will see to it that I set aside time for him to let him know I’m thinking about him and I'm always going to be there for him.

The other day, I told my husband about an important meeting, including the time and date. He decided to call during the meeting, but I didn’t have my phone on me. He got one of the secretaries in the office to interrupt the meeting. I was livid! How do I prevent this from happening again? Should I add my important meetings to his calendar, or would that be too much? -- Monday Meeting, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MONDAY MEETING: There are likely layers to the meaning of what happened between you and your husband. You called him on not being attentive to you and then shunned him for going out of his way to be attentive. Yes, he should have known that if you were in a meeting, he should wait. But his attentiveness is, at best, rusty. Rather than blowing up about this misstep with him, thank him for calling, but point out that the timing was terrible. Remind him that you had told him about your unavailable moments, and ask him not to interrupt a meeting unless it is a life-or-death emergency. Leaving a message would have made you happy because it would have shown his thoughtfulness toward you.

Suggest that he allow you to input key times in your schedule when you are unavailable to make it easier for him to know when he cannot reach you. But don’t do more. Your husband needs to do his part to strike a respectful balance. Tell your secretary that you should not be disturbed during key meetings, even by your husband.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suspect that my husband is having an affair. I travel a lot for work, and recently, whenever I am away and I call him, he is out. Most often he tells me he is with a woman who is his friend.

I have known this woman for a long time. She has been divorced for a few years and is often upset about the reality of her life post-divorce. My husband and I have had a bit of a rocky relationship in recent years, and my gut says that he is finding solace with her. It is true that I have been frustrated by him and not at all attracted to him in that way, but I figured that’s part of marriage. Now I’m not so sure. Should I ask him if he is having an affair? I have no interest in playing games. -- What's the Deal?, Chicago

DEAR WHAT’S THE DEAL?: You sound pretty matter-of-fact about your reality. Do you know what you are prepared to do if your husband admits to having an affair? You need to be clear on that. Decide what you want in your marriage. Is it worth saving? How can you work with your husband to reignite some form of intimacy? Are you interested or willing to determine how to heal from such a breach of trust?

If he is not having an affair, it brings up even more questions. What is wrong with your marriage, and can you approach him about it to see what both of you can do to improve it?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)