DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a huge argument with my husband because I feel he doesn’t make enough time for me. We’re both working professionals, but we approach our lives and work differently. I will see to it that I set aside time for him to let him know I’m thinking about him and I'm always going to be there for him.

The other day, I told my husband about an important meeting, including the time and date. He decided to call during the meeting, but I didn’t have my phone on me. He got one of the secretaries in the office to interrupt the meeting. I was livid! How do I prevent this from happening again? Should I add my important meetings to his calendar, or would that be too much? -- Monday Meeting, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MONDAY MEETING: There are likely layers to the meaning of what happened between you and your husband. You called him on not being attentive to you and then shunned him for going out of his way to be attentive. Yes, he should have known that if you were in a meeting, he should wait. But his attentiveness is, at best, rusty. Rather than blowing up about this misstep with him, thank him for calling, but point out that the timing was terrible. Remind him that you had told him about your unavailable moments, and ask him not to interrupt a meeting unless it is a life-or-death emergency. Leaving a message would have made you happy because it would have shown his thoughtfulness toward you.

Suggest that he allow you to input key times in your schedule when you are unavailable to make it easier for him to know when he cannot reach you. But don’t do more. Your husband needs to do his part to strike a respectful balance. Tell your secretary that you should not be disturbed during key meetings, even by your husband.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suspect that my husband is having an affair. I travel a lot for work, and recently, whenever I am away and I call him, he is out. Most often he tells me he is with a woman who is his friend.

I have known this woman for a long time. She has been divorced for a few years and is often upset about the reality of her life post-divorce. My husband and I have had a bit of a rocky relationship in recent years, and my gut says that he is finding solace with her. It is true that I have been frustrated by him and not at all attracted to him in that way, but I figured that’s part of marriage. Now I’m not so sure. Should I ask him if he is having an affair? I have no interest in playing games. -- What's the Deal?, Chicago

DEAR WHAT’S THE DEAL?: You sound pretty matter-of-fact about your reality. Do you know what you are prepared to do if your husband admits to having an affair? You need to be clear on that. Decide what you want in your marriage. Is it worth saving? How can you work with your husband to reignite some form of intimacy? Are you interested or willing to determine how to heal from such a breach of trust?

If he is not having an affair, it brings up even more questions. What is wrong with your marriage, and can you approach him about it to see what both of you can do to improve it?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my closest friends has a terrible shopping habit. With all the money she’s spent in the past year, I think she could have made a down payment on a home. I not-so-jokingly told her she has a problem, which she acknowledged. Now the problem is getting bigger because she’s putting on a lot of weight. The last time I saw her, she looked seven months pregnant. How do I get her to face her problems without shopping or food? -- Facing the Truth, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR FACING THE TRUTH: There may be a bit of good news in your friend’s situation -- namely, that she has some awareness of her problems. Clearly, something is wrong on the inside that is causing your friend to try to make up for it by shopping or eating. Addiction often has its cause in an emotional dearth. Your friend needs to figure out what is hurting her deep down inside in order to be able to free herself of the source of her pain.

You can recommend that she get mental health counseling. Suggest that talking to a professional may help her to break free from her unhealthy habits and dive deep into her life to unmask whatever is creating such difficulty. Of course, getting a physical is also helpful. She may get guidance on weight loss and fitness that will help her immediate health concerns. But mental health support is needed to help her turn an emotional corner toward overall well-being.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At this time of year, I often get down in the dumps. I know it's coming, so I try to remind myself that this too shall pass. But the blues are with me now, and I feel sad and incapacitated. I mean, I am still going to work and interacting with people, but I find it hard to sleep, and I am not feeling good about myself. I cannot afford to go to a shrink, so please don’t suggest that. I just need a bridge to get me past this season. -- Down in the Dumps, Philadelphia

DEAR DOWN IN THE DUMPS: One idea is to serve others. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, a retirement community, a hospital or a homeless shelter. Offer to do whatever is needed in the moment you arrive. Almost always and especially at this time of year, extra hands are needed. Amazingly, when you act in service of others who are in need, it takes the attention away from you and your issues and can fill your heart with gratitude. If you are up for it, you can volunteer daily at one or more of these locations. You can also check in with local charities and churches to see if they need a helping hand. It can be amazingly uplifting to have fellowship with others who appreciate your time, attention and care.

Additionally, whenever the sun is shining, go outside and take a walk. As the weather changes and the days get cold and gray, some people suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Getting some sun and moving your body may help brighten your day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor above me has a small child who looks to be about 5 years old. This kid is always running back and forth at all hours of the night. He acts out a lot, and the other neighbors have also noticed. His tantrums are out of control. The only reason I’m concerned is because I hear it all. Like I said, they live above me. Is there a polite way to suggest they have their child tested for developmental challenges? -- Out-of-Control Child, Bronx, New York

DEAR OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILD: You have no idea what’s wrong with this child -- if anything -- so the suggestion of developmental challenges is too much. What you know is that the child is allowed to stay up when a child typically should be sleeping. And you know that the child doesn't seem to be developing self-discipline matching what you believe to be normal. With that in mind, you need to take care in what you say to your neighbor.

Start out by admitting that you are having difficulty sleeping because the boy runs across the floor at all hours of the night when you are trying to rest. Ask your neighbor to get the child in bed at a reasonable hour. State when you normally go to sleep, and make it known that you would like quiet during that time. Suggest that they get a rug to help buffer sound.

If you have children or know about the care of children and can offer insight into what you believe you have observed based upon another child, not hearsay, you may be able to introduce that information to help encourage your neighbor to get support for the child. But honestly, it could be that the child just needs more loving attention and isn’t yet getting it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my close friends will often host a girls’ night, and she invited one of her friendly neighbors. We’ve all become pretty good friends, and the neighbor shared with me that my friend’s husband is cheating on her while she’s at work. The neighbor works remotely from home often, so she sees the comings and goings at my friend's house. At first, I didn’t believe it, but I stopped by my friend's place one day, and sure enough, I heard a woman in heels walking around. With all the details shared with me already, I believe my friend is being cheated on. What do I say -- if anything -- or do I just mind my own business? -- I Know He's Cheating, Denver

DEAR I KNOW HE’S CHEATING: Talk to the neighbor, and suggest that she tell your friend. She is the one with the concrete details that prove, at least, that a woman has been regularly visiting your friend's husband at home. Hearing a woman’s footsteps does not tell you with certainty that this man is having an affair. You must be careful what you presume and repeat. Rather than speaking your presumptions, do your best to get the neighbor to speak up.

If that doesn’t work, you may want to tell your friend that you are concerned based on suspicions that your neighbor brought to your attention. With her permission, share what you were told and what you heard.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)