DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a woman who is clearly racist. Almost every day she comes to work, and during small talk when people typically are talking about their families or what they are going to do for the weekend, she talks about how black people are moving into her neighborhood and she wants them out. Or she brings up the immigration issue at the border and adds her perspective that immigrants should all be arrested because they are criminals.

I feel like political rhetoric has reached an all-time high when it lives in my office. We are normal working people. I hate that people think it’s OK to judge others based on their race or country of origin and that they feel that they can blatantly complain about their gripes in an open setting. I feel like people think they can just say anything these days, and it won’t matter. I was taught that people should treat one another with respect. These days, it feels like that has gone out the window. Can I say anything to get this woman to tone it down? -- Stop the Vitriol, Atlanta

DEAR STOP THE VITRIOL: Tensions are running particularly high these days, and many people have set up camp on either side of the political spectrum. And yet, the workplace is supposed to be equal opportunity and without prejudice.

First, you can say something to the woman the next time she begins her tirade. Tell her that her commentary makes you uncomfortable, and ask her to stop. Next, report her to human resources. If you can, tape a conversation so that you have proof of what she is saying. You have the right to work in an environment free of racial prejudice, but in order to exercise that right, you may have to speak up. That’s OK to do. Indeed, throughout history, it has been a requirement for change.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s a boy who goes to my church who has some kind of serious disability. He cannot speak, and his body is deformed. He comes to church every Sunday and is obedient to his mother. My question is, how can I be supportive of him? I say hello, but I am not sure if he knows I’m talking to him. I don’t want to be like some of my parishioners who gawk and talk about them in a corner. I want to do the right thing. I just don’t know what that is. -- Showing Compassion, Syracuse, New York

DEAR SHOWING COMPASSION: Continue to speak to the boy and his mother. Make eye contact if you can. Next time you see his mother, ask if you can have a private word with her. Introduce yourself. Let her know that you want to be supportive in the best possible way to her and her son, and ask how best to communicate with him. Ask if there is anything the children’s ministry can do to better engage them. See if she will open up about her son’s condition and how he can best be supported so that he can feel fully welcome. She will likely appreciate your reaching out. Listen carefully to learn what you can do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is now a young man. He is a good student in college and kind to his family. On the flip side, my husband and I see that he is too much of a lady's man. We taught him to be a gentleman and to treat women with respect. We think he is sexually involved with multiple women, and we do not condone this behavior.

Our son no longer lives at home and is already 21 years old, so we know we cannot control him, but we want to say something to encourage him to be less promiscuous. What do you recommend? -- Slow Down, Son, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR SLOW DOWN, SON: You are right -- you cannot control your son’s behavior. What you can do is remind him of the values you taught him growing up. Caution him about the health risks of promiscuity, which include sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. Add the inherent risk he runs in hurting these women’s feelings by being intimate with them without establishing true intimacy. Doing your part means reminding him of what you believe. You also will have to accept that he has to live his own life and suffer the consequences accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend from my childhood who I see a couple of times a year at most. Even so, we are pretty close. She does not know most of my current friends who I see a lot more frequently. I’m thinking of having a party during the holidays and want to invite everyone, but I don’t want anyone to feel awkward. How do you think I should handle the friend who doesn’t know anybody but me? -- Party Planning, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR PARTY PLANNING: When one person is not part of a larger friend group, it is wise to think of ways to welcome that person into an existing fold. During the holidays, it is common for people to travel in groups as they go from event to event. Invite your friend, and suggest that she bring a date or a friend to come with her. Tell her who will be at the party and that you are excited for her to meet these people. In turn, be sure to tell your new friend group that an old friend is coming. Ask them to help to make her feel comfortable.

At the event, be sure to circulate among all of your guests. Introduce your childhood friend to the others. Think of stories that you can share about each of your guests that are lighthearted and revealing about them, their connection to you and their personalities. As the hostess, you have to work the party to ensure that everyone feels comfortable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband does not believe that our children need to go to college. He didn’t, and he has a good job, so he figures they can do the same -- work in a trade. I didn’t grow up like that. I was taught that college was a requirement.

While I understand the value of vocational work, I do not want to limit my children’s options. My husband is adamant that he doesn’t want to pay for the kids to go to college. I can’t believe I didn’t understand his position on this before we got married. I made assumptions that turned out to be false. How can I support my children when my husband is standing in the way? -- No College, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO COLLEGE: Start with a heart-to-heart with your husband. Admit that you believed that the two of you were on the same page about education and that you are shocked to learn that he is opposed to college for the children. Ask him to soften his position to at least allow you to encourage the children to do their research as they think about what they want to do with their lives. If their ideas are best served with the support of a college education, ask your husband not to stand in the way. They can look for scholarships and loans to pay for the schooling.

If your children are interested in a vocation, ask your husband to help them pick the best vocational school to get them prepared. Make it clear to your husband that you believe that in today’s world, a college education is considered baseline for most industries, and you do not want to hinder your children’s success in any way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got into a heated argument with a contractor I hired to help me work on a project. We had agreed on clear deadlines, and she missed them all. Each time I addressed it with her, she came up with some crazy excuse. I lost my temper today after her last lame excuse for not getting work done. When I mentioned my frustration with a colleague, I learned that someone else just posted on social media how unprofessional this woman is. Apparently, she has a bad reputation.

Now what do I do? I am not one to raise my voice, but she set me off. I apologized for that. But it doesn’t change that she owes me work that I have already paid for. Part of me wants to blast her on social media. Is that wrong of me? -- Getting Back at Her, Boston

DEAR GETTING BACK AT HER: I think of Michelle Obama’s mantra: When they go low, we go high. Do your best to stay positive and professional. Avoid the impulse to trash this woman on social media or in any other way. Either get her to complete the work that she was contracted to do, or sue her in small claims court. That will get her attention. Obviously you will not give her a recommendation, but you don’t have to join the voices on the internet who are talking about her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)