DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is now a young man. He is a good student in college and kind to his family. On the flip side, my husband and I see that he is too much of a lady's man. We taught him to be a gentleman and to treat women with respect. We think he is sexually involved with multiple women, and we do not condone this behavior.

Our son no longer lives at home and is already 21 years old, so we know we cannot control him, but we want to say something to encourage him to be less promiscuous. What do you recommend? -- Slow Down, Son, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR SLOW DOWN, SON: You are right -- you cannot control your son’s behavior. What you can do is remind him of the values you taught him growing up. Caution him about the health risks of promiscuity, which include sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. Add the inherent risk he runs in hurting these women’s feelings by being intimate with them without establishing true intimacy. Doing your part means reminding him of what you believe. You also will have to accept that he has to live his own life and suffer the consequences accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend from my childhood who I see a couple of times a year at most. Even so, we are pretty close. She does not know most of my current friends who I see a lot more frequently. I’m thinking of having a party during the holidays and want to invite everyone, but I don’t want anyone to feel awkward. How do you think I should handle the friend who doesn’t know anybody but me? -- Party Planning, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR PARTY PLANNING: When one person is not part of a larger friend group, it is wise to think of ways to welcome that person into an existing fold. During the holidays, it is common for people to travel in groups as they go from event to event. Invite your friend, and suggest that she bring a date or a friend to come with her. Tell her who will be at the party and that you are excited for her to meet these people. In turn, be sure to tell your new friend group that an old friend is coming. Ask them to help to make her feel comfortable.

At the event, be sure to circulate among all of your guests. Introduce your childhood friend to the others. Think of stories that you can share about each of your guests that are lighthearted and revealing about them, their connection to you and their personalities. As the hostess, you have to work the party to ensure that everyone feels comfortable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband does not believe that our children need to go to college. He didn’t, and he has a good job, so he figures they can do the same -- work in a trade. I didn’t grow up like that. I was taught that college was a requirement.

While I understand the value of vocational work, I do not want to limit my children’s options. My husband is adamant that he doesn’t want to pay for the kids to go to college. I can’t believe I didn’t understand his position on this before we got married. I made assumptions that turned out to be false. How can I support my children when my husband is standing in the way? -- No College, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO COLLEGE: Start with a heart-to-heart with your husband. Admit that you believed that the two of you were on the same page about education and that you are shocked to learn that he is opposed to college for the children. Ask him to soften his position to at least allow you to encourage the children to do their research as they think about what they want to do with their lives. If their ideas are best served with the support of a college education, ask your husband not to stand in the way. They can look for scholarships and loans to pay for the schooling.

If your children are interested in a vocation, ask your husband to help them pick the best vocational school to get them prepared. Make it clear to your husband that you believe that in today’s world, a college education is considered baseline for most industries, and you do not want to hinder your children’s success in any way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got into a heated argument with a contractor I hired to help me work on a project. We had agreed on clear deadlines, and she missed them all. Each time I addressed it with her, she came up with some crazy excuse. I lost my temper today after her last lame excuse for not getting work done. When I mentioned my frustration with a colleague, I learned that someone else just posted on social media how unprofessional this woman is. Apparently, she has a bad reputation.

Now what do I do? I am not one to raise my voice, but she set me off. I apologized for that. But it doesn’t change that she owes me work that I have already paid for. Part of me wants to blast her on social media. Is that wrong of me? -- Getting Back at Her, Boston

DEAR GETTING BACK AT HER: I think of Michelle Obama’s mantra: When they go low, we go high. Do your best to stay positive and professional. Avoid the impulse to trash this woman on social media or in any other way. Either get her to complete the work that she was contracted to do, or sue her in small claims court. That will get her attention. Obviously you will not give her a recommendation, but you don’t have to join the voices on the internet who are talking about her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m pretty old-fashioned in my views. I’m one of those girls who really doesn’t want to have sex until I get married; I like to take things slow.

I have been dating a nice man for about a year now, and he knows how I feel. Anyhow, he invited me to go visit his family for Thanksgiving. I want to go with him, but I don’t want to mislead him. He hasn’t asked me to marry him yet. I’m not sure what the point is in meeting his family when we haven’t made our intentions known.

Do you think we need to talk about our plans for the future before we go to his family? -- Clear Intentions, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR CLEAR INTENTIONS: That your boyfriend wants to take you to meet his family is a good thing. It means he takes the relationship seriously and wants to introduce you to the people who matter the most to him. You don’t have to be engaged to meet them.

At the same time, it is a nice idea to talk about the future with your boyfriend. It is wise to be on the same page when you meet his family. Someone is likely to ask you if you are planning to get married -- especially if he doesn’t usually bring people home to meet the family.

When you broach the topic with your boyfriend, don’t make it an ultimatum. Instead, tell him that you’ve been thinking about the upcoming trip, and you realize how important it is. You think it is smart for the two of you to talk about the future and what you might see down the line. Open the door. Be prepared to say what you want. If you think this is the man you want to spend your life with, tell him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just started high school, and her world has expanded dramatically. She has always had a good head on her shoulders, but I can’t help but worry about her a bit. She and her friends have a lot of unsupervised time after school. My rule is that she has to let me know where she is or where she is planning to go so that we stay connected. She hates this rule, but I know that kids can get into mischief without even realizing it. How can I keep her safe as she begins to explore her life as a teenager? -- Striking a Balance, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR STRIKING A BALANCE: The teenage years are a critical period in a child’s life, and parental guidance is important. It is also key for teens to begin to exercise independence. They will make mistakes, just as we did, but they need a bit of freedom in order to start making independent choices and learning from them.

What you can do is reinforce your rules about staying connected regarding her whereabouts. With smartphones, it is easy to text each other without her friends knowing what she is doing. A more invasive route is using a tracking app that will show you where she is at all times. They usually work fairly well as long as there is Wi-Fi service and she has the app engaged. A popular app is Life360.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)