DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is Christian, and my college-age daughter just told us that her boyfriend is Muslim. She is nervous to bring him home because my husband has made it clear to her that he thinks Muslims are dangerous.

My daughter has tried to tell us about this young man. When I listen to her, he sounds pretty great to me. He treats her nicely, and she seems to be happy. I definitely want to meet him. I think the worst thing would be to ban him from our home. That will only make her want to commit to him more immediately. How can I get my husband to have an open mind about this young man? I think we should trust our daughter more. -- Open Your Mind, San Jose, California

DEAR OPEN YOUR MIND: Talk to your husband about your daughter and his concerns about the boyfriend’s religion. Admit that you didn’t expect your daughter to have a Muslim boyfriend, but you want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she has chosen someone who genuinely loves and respects her. Point out that while reports in the news sometimes suggest that certain Muslims are dangerous -- terrorists, even -- this cannot be true about all of them, just like there are Christians who have done bad things over the generations, but that doesn’t mean that every Christian is trying to conquer the world, for example.

Suggest that the two of you welcome the young man into your home so that you can meet him and talk to him. Getting to know the person your daughter loves is smart, even if you are skeptical. If he is standing in front of you, there is your opportunity to ask every question you can think of. Don’t miss out on this information-gathering moment because of any stereotypical views you may have about his religion. Get first-hand knowledge of who he is instead.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I host events at my job a lot, and it’s usually fun until we get to the Q&A segment. I feel like most participants who raise their hands just want to hear themselves talk. They don’t seem to have a real question, and they tend to take the whole event off-message. We give clear guidelines about how to ask questions succinctly, but it rarely seems to work. Sometimes people hog the microphone, and it can be awkward tearing it away from them. What can I do to keep control of the event? -- Give Back the Mic, Cleveland

DEAR GIVE BACK THE MIC: This is the big challenge of the Q&A format of live events. One organization that I work with controls this by giving audience participants notecards. If they think of questions, they are to write them down on the cards and then the moderator will select questions to read to the panelists, who will then answer. This controls the superfluous grandstanding and meandering that can occur when you relinquish control of the mic.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-boyfriend received a wonderful award for his work in education. I was so proud to learn of this accomplishment. He worked hard for his degree and has devoted himself to children.

When I learned about the award, I immediately thought I should reach out to congratulate him. When I told my girlfriends about it, they told me not to say anything. We did not have a great breakup. He was rude to me. He had already started dating somebody else, and it was messy. I’m not trying to get back with him. I just want to say congratulations on a well-deserved award. Do you think I should withhold my comments because he made a mistake several years ago? -- Job Well Done, Albany, New York

DEAR JOB WELL DONE: Your instincts are good. If your desire is simply to congratulate him on his work, go for it. Your ability to let go of the past and celebrate the moment for what it is reflects who you are. Holding onto old wounds can be detrimental to your well-being. Now, this does not mean that you should allow this moment to spark renewed interest in the two of you forming a deeper bond. Allow it to be exactly as you intended, a moment to honor his achievement.

You can also give him space to speak. He may have processed the past and realized his folly. If he chooses to apologize for his past behavior, accept. Then get off the phone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who has serious B.O. I think she washes; her face and clothes look clean, but I swear -- she seriously stinks! This is different from some other colleagues who are from other parts of the world who smell like their food, which can also be bad. This smells like poor hygiene. What can I say about it? I am sensitive to smell, and she is killing me. -- Cannot Breathe, San Francisco

DEAR CANNOT BREATHE: This is a tough situation and one that requires tremendous sensitivity. I’m not sure that there is anything that you should say to her directly. Start, though, by paying attention to your co-worker. Get a sense of her life. Sometimes people disguise their reality. Is she really OK, or is she struggling? Notice her patterns. If you detect that she may be in financial trouble or even homeless, you may want to speak to her to ask if you can be of support. If you bond with her, that’s when you create space to talk about hygiene. She may need basic supplies that she does not have. She also may not have been taught how to practice cleanliness. This is hard for an outsider to teach someone who isn’t asking for it, so you need to tread lightly. You might create a care package of your favorite toiletries and offer it to her one day -- discreetly. Tell her that you love these items and thought she might, too.

For your personal space at work, bring in air freshener. You might place potpourri on your desk to keep your area smelling fresh.

If things continue to be unhygienic with this woman, speak to human resources and ask for support. They may have a protocol to help employees follow codes of cleanliness.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at an event last week and learned that a woman I have known for all of my professional life is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. I am devastated. She was a force in our community, and I would see her from time to time. I admit that when I have seen her in recent years, she sometimes was distant, but I chalked that up to her just being odd. Now I have learned that she is largely not mentally present. I am so sorry. I’m told that mostly she doesn’t know people. I want to reach out anyway. Is it worth it? -- Friend in Need, Milwaukee

DEAR FRIEND IN NEED: Do your due diligence first. Identify a mutual friend who is close to her. Check in, saying that you recently learned of this woman’s condition. Ask if there is anything you can do to be of support. Add that you would like to be in touch with her or do something to let her know that you care about her and want to be of support. Be specific when you ask what you can do to help. You may be told that you can call, but be prepared that she may not recognize your voice. You may be advised to send her a small gift or a card. Your good wishes and prayers do count.

If she has caregivers, those people could use encouragement. It is very difficult to take care of a person with any type of dementia. Your loving support of them counts as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going home to visit family this Thanksgiving, and I’m kind of nervous. I haven’t been home in a long time, and I know that people have expectations of me and what I have accomplished since I have been gone.

Right now, my life is rocky. I lost my job and have been temping to pay the bills. I’m figuring it out, but I don’t want to talk about what’s going on. How can I be honest with people and keep my privacy? I really don’t want to talk about my trials and tribulations. -- Shut Up, Calvert County, Maryland

DEAR SHUT UP: You will need to decide what you are comfortable sharing about your life, because you know people will be asking. Most often the questioning comes out of love and a desire to support you and to be able to brag about what you are up to. Think of highlights that you can share about your life that are interesting and benign. Do you like to garden? What hobbies do you enjoy? Are you into fitness? Select something that points to how you have joy in your life.

As far as work goes, you can say that you are in transition. If you know what you are looking for or what you are interested in, you can talk about that while admitting that right now your work pays the bills but isn’t what you intend long-term.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)