DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in the running for a new job at my company. The woman above me just quit to go to another company. It’s obvious (to me, at least) that this is the perfect job for me. I think my bosses like me a lot, and they say I am doing a good job. What should I do to lobby for this position? I want to get to the next level at my company, and I feel that now is my chance. -- On the Move, Philadelphia

DEAR ON THE MOVE: Take the time to research the job opening. What are the qualifications needed? Do you fulfill them? What makes you uniquely suited for this role? Develop answers to these questions so that you can go to your bosses and pitch yourself confidently as the right person for the job. Be proactive. Don’t wait too long to alert your bosses to your interest. You need to seem eager and prepared to step in. Don’t talk to your co-workers about it. Go directly to your bosses. When you present your strengths, do not compare yourself to any individuals in your company. Instead, speak to your interests and knowledge of the business. State with enthusiasm that you are ready to step into this next role. Tell them that they can trust you do to an excellent job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was growing up, I never had to do chores. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. I was a good student and I convinced my parents that I had to do homework rather than wash dishes or make my bed. Now I realize that I didn’t learn basic skills. As an adult, I have always had a housekeeper, but now I am married and my husband hates the idea of a housekeeper. He thinks we should clean our house ourselves. I don’t know the first thing about cleaning, nor do I want to do it. How should I handle this? -- Need Cleaning Help, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR NEED CLEANING HELP: I wonder if there is a way for there to be a hybrid situation here. You definitely should learn how to do household basics. It is not too late for you to brush up on these skills. Your participation will encourage your husband. You can recommend that you also have housekeeping support of some kind on a regular basis to ensure that everything remains clean and tidy.

You may need to work on your husband to get him to feel comfortable about someone coming into the household who is not a family member. Your husband is not unusual in not wanting this extra person to be there. In order to get him to be comfortable about this, you need to choose someone who comes with strong recommendations and who is respectful of your privacy. Your active participation in cleaning your home should also soften your husband to agreeing to your request, since it shows that you are willing to agree to his.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is getting up in age. While she is managing OK, I worry that my children don’t spend enough time with her. We live several hours away, and what with sports and school and such, we see her only a few times a year. I try to get them to call her, but their lives are busy and filled with other priorities. I really want them to make time to connect with her. I got her a cellphone, and I FaceTime her weekly. I want them to join in. How can I get them to do it? -- Connect to Grandma, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR CONNECT TO GRANDMA: Add the call to Grandma to your weekly schedule. Make sure your children know what time it will be. If you schedule it around a meal that everyone attends, it will be easiest. Encourage your children to share tidbits about their lives with her, things that she can share with her friends. Grandparents love to have bragging rights. If you make the call part of the weekly fabric of your lives, it will be easier for your children to participate without feeling like it’s a burden on them. Later, they will appreciate the time spent with your mother.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is super Afrocentric, and I am not. She put me in private schools for many years, and I was exposed to different styles. It’s not that I don’t understand or appreciate black culture; I do. But I don’t want to wear dashikis and turbans. I can be conscious of my heritage without all of that.

When "Black Panther" came out, it got my mom revved up again to wear all of her Afrocentric garb. How can I get her to see that I can respect her ideas and be proud of my heritage without dressing the part? -- No Dashikis for Me, Dallas

DEAR NO DASHIKIS FOR ME: Tell her exactly what you told me. Your mother has her own style, which is great. Yours sounds different from hers. That’s okay. Agree to be different.

Culturally, your mother wants you to know and respect your history. Through your conversation with her, make it clear that you are paying attention to what’s going on in the world and how you fit into it. Make sure that you do continue to cultivate knowledge about your cultural heritage. What you wear is not nearly as important as what you know because it will shape your future.

There is an African symbol called "sankofa," which features a bird with its feet facing forward and its head turned backward. The notion is that you must learn about your past before you can walk into your future. As long as you understand and respect that, it doesn’t matter what you wear.

You are right, though, that with the advent of the film "Black Panther," a new Afrocentric wave covered our nation. People once again felt proud to wear African garments and symbols. There is something nice about that cultural embrace -- whether you choose to do it or not.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just invited to join the community board in my town, which is wonderful. The only thing is that I am totally not available. I work two jobs, and I have a young child and a husband who works intermittently. We have a good rhythm in our home, but I’m afraid that adding anything more will upset our equilibrium.

When I told the person who invited me that I didn’t think I could do it, he acted disappointed. I really do appreciate the organization’s faith in me, but I can’t give in to the pressure. I really cannot do this job right now. How can I say no to them and still have good standing in the neighborhood? -- No Can Do, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR NO CAN DO: Honesty is all you have. Sincerely thank the members of the organization for thinking of you and believing that you would be a great fit for the board. Tell them that you will consider the role in the future, but as disappointed as you both are, you know that you do not have the time right now. Offer to participate intermittently in community activities, to help get the word out when there are important announcements, etc. Assure them that you will do what you can, but be firm that what you cannot do is be a formal board member at this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love music, and so do my kids. The thing is, we don’t love the same things.

When I’m grooving to '90s tunes or '80s R&B, they cringe and tell me I’m old. I want them to know all music, to be exposed to everything -- including the rap that they seem to love right now. How can I get them to be open to all genres of music? I exposed them to it when they were kids, but today they are impatient and don’t want to hear anything I play. -- Name That Tune, Minneapolis

DEAR NAME THAT TUNE: Go back to making music fun in your household. Think of games that will bring all music to life. Take turns playing each other’s music and truly listen to it. You can guess who’s singing or rapping one of their favorites and have them do the same for one of your oldies but goodies. Point out that music is wonderful in part because there are so many different genres and artists. If you act truly interested in whatever your children are playing, this may spark their willingness to listen to your music, too.

My daughter taught us many of the latest pop and rap artists because we let her play “her station” in the car for part of the time when we go on road trips. That my husband and I can easily identify Drake or The Weeknd gives us some music cred. Then she may be willing to acknowledge that she recognizes Stevie Wonder or Luther Vandross.

Remember, though, that children can be self-absorbed at times. Drawing them out to enjoy your choices may be a challenge -- to say the least. Later in life, people tend to remember the music that their parents played, even if they didn’t consciously act like it at the time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)