DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just invited to join the community board in my town, which is wonderful. The only thing is that I am totally not available. I work two jobs, and I have a young child and a husband who works intermittently. We have a good rhythm in our home, but I’m afraid that adding anything more will upset our equilibrium.

When I told the person who invited me that I didn’t think I could do it, he acted disappointed. I really do appreciate the organization’s faith in me, but I can’t give in to the pressure. I really cannot do this job right now. How can I say no to them and still have good standing in the neighborhood? -- No Can Do, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR NO CAN DO: Honesty is all you have. Sincerely thank the members of the organization for thinking of you and believing that you would be a great fit for the board. Tell them that you will consider the role in the future, but as disappointed as you both are, you know that you do not have the time right now. Offer to participate intermittently in community activities, to help get the word out when there are important announcements, etc. Assure them that you will do what you can, but be firm that what you cannot do is be a formal board member at this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love music, and so do my kids. The thing is, we don’t love the same things.

When I’m grooving to '90s tunes or '80s R&B, they cringe and tell me I’m old. I want them to know all music, to be exposed to everything -- including the rap that they seem to love right now. How can I get them to be open to all genres of music? I exposed them to it when they were kids, but today they are impatient and don’t want to hear anything I play. -- Name That Tune, Minneapolis

DEAR NAME THAT TUNE: Go back to making music fun in your household. Think of games that will bring all music to life. Take turns playing each other’s music and truly listen to it. You can guess who’s singing or rapping one of their favorites and have them do the same for one of your oldies but goodies. Point out that music is wonderful in part because there are so many different genres and artists. If you act truly interested in whatever your children are playing, this may spark their willingness to listen to your music, too.

My daughter taught us many of the latest pop and rap artists because we let her play “her station” in the car for part of the time when we go on road trips. That my husband and I can easily identify Drake or The Weeknd gives us some music cred. Then she may be willing to acknowledge that she recognizes Stevie Wonder or Luther Vandross.

Remember, though, that children can be self-absorbed at times. Drawing them out to enjoy your choices may be a challenge -- to say the least. Later in life, people tend to remember the music that their parents played, even if they didn’t consciously act like it at the time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is in college and needs to declare a major. She is torn between several interests. When I reminded her of the things that she has shown interest in over the years, she got testy with me and didn’t want to listen.

It seems like she wants my input, but she instantly rejects it when I make a suggestion. I get that she is frustrated because she is uncertain, but I can’t help her if all she does is get an attitude and tell me what I recommend is out of the question. How can I help her? -- Child on the Fence, Boston

DEAR CHILD ON THE FENCE: Declaring a major is a huge step toward independence. It can set a person on a course for the rest of their life. To that end, it is best when it is discovered by the person who is doing the declaration. It is understandable that your daughter wants your support, to a certain extent. She does trust you and knows that you have good ideas. At the same time, she knows that she should make this decision based on what her studies and spirit are leading her to do.

The best thing you can do is to exercise patience and be a good listener. Do not take her sharpness personally. Understand that this is part of the process of becoming independent, and it is difficult. It’s also worth noting that people often change their majors if they discover that it isn’t a perfect fit. You can let her know that the choice does not have to be written in stone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I were invited to go camping for a few days with one of his favorite couples. We have only recently started dating seriously, and I am just getting to know him. I have learned that he loves the outdoors and things like camping, but I don’t.

I have never gone camping, so I don’t know what to expect. I want to be a good sport while not misleading him. I need a complete tutorial, and I’m afraid that my boyfriend doesn’t understand how green I am. How can I prepare for this trip? -- About to Camp, Darien, Connecticut

DEAR ABOUT TO CAMP: Start researching this trip in particular right now. Look up the campsite to see where it is and what is available there. Contact your boyfriend’s friends and tell them you want to be ready for the trip. Explain that you have never camped before, so you need a step-by-step list of what you need and what to expect. Talk to your boyfriend about your desire to go and your trepidation about never having done this before. Ask for his input and suggestions for how to make this a successful and safe trip. Ask for help in making a list of the gear that you need. Find out if your boyfriend or his friends have any gear to share with you. Equipping yourself can be expensive, but it’s wise to have the right shoes, outerwear, sleeping gear and flashlights to stay safe and warm. Keep asking questions until you feel comfortable that you are ready to go.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two children who are of voting age. I have been teaching them about the importance of voting since they were little. I believe my kids will vote in the primaries, but I worry about them and their friends. Kids these days seem so apathetic. How can I inspire my children and their friend group to take the midterms seriously? We need young people to wake up and participate in the political process. If I am too heavy-handed, they will ignore me. How can I get them to take action? -- Go to the Polls, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR GO TO THE POLLS: Encourage your children to volunteer around the election. Suggest that they gather a group of friends and offer to help people in a retirement home get to the polls on Election Day. Talk about other ideas that include them being of service to others to make sure that their voices are heard. Or you can suggest that they call up their friends and make a “date” to go vote and then hang out after. Ask them what they can do to make it fun. As you do this, remind them -- without being too pushy -- that their future lies in the hands of whoever wins the election on Nov. 6. They owe it to themselves to make sure their voice counts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been nervous about everything over the past year. I find it hard to sleep at night. Recently, without even realizing it, I have started to bite my nails in my sleep. It’s totally weird. I never bit my nails as a child. But as a mature adult, I have awakened a couple of times with half my nails chewed up, and I had no memory of it. I feel like I’m of out of control. What do you recommend I do to get ahold of this? My hands look crazy, but more than how they look is the fact that I can’t remember biting my nails. -- Figure It Out, Detroit

DEAR FIGURE IT OUT: Think about the stress that you are facing these days. Make a written list of the things that are bothering you, and pay particular attention to anything that seems new or amplified. Have there been changes in your work? Your home life? Friendships? Health? Finances? You say it’s been happening over the course of this year. Your job is to single out what is making this year different from others.

Armed with that information, get a physical. Talk to your doctor about what’s been happening with you, and ask for guidance. Be specific when you share your personal evaluation of your life this year. The more you tell the doctor, the better able he or she will be to get you the help you need. You may be referred to a mental health professional who can help you sort through your feelings and come to some resolution that will calm you.

Also consider meditation, deep breathing, going to bed earlier and surrounding yourself with positive people.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)