DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I grew up very different from each other. His family members were all farmers, while mine were educated and spent a lot of time in so-called high society.

My husband and I get along great, but things get awkward whenever we go to social functions. He doesn’t have the social graces expected at these events. He bristles when I try to tell him. I don’t mean to be a nag, but I do think it will make his life easier if he would be willing to follow some of the basic codes of etiquette that these settings expect. How can I get that across to him? -- Supporting My Man, Dallas

DEAR SUPPORTING MY MAN: If you can make learning these codes of conduct fun, you will have a better chance of inspiring your husband to participate. Look for a social dancing or etiquette class in your neighborhood that you two can take together. You can learn the waltz, formal dressing, the art of small talk at these social events, etc. Doing this as a couple can create closeness and will foster togetherness rather than making him feel that he has to have remedial training. I learned long ago that life gets easier to navigate when you understand who you are, what your values are and what’s expected where you are going.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hired a cousin who was in need of work to help me out on a project. We talk a lot, and I got the sense that she would work well on this particular project. She agreed, and things started out OK, but it hasn’t gone smoothly lately. We have scheduled several calls that she missed. She got busy with another job and didn’t complete the work that she had agreed to do. She seems nonchalant, like it’s not so bad that she hasn’t completed the work since she’s my cousin.

She has put me in a bind. I needed her help in a timely manner, and now the work is not done. How should I address this with her? I need to reassign it to someone else. -- Bad Family Vibes, St. Louis

DEAR BAD FAMILY VIBES: Put on your professional hat and let your cousin know that you have to part ways because she has not fulfilled the obligations that she accepted. Tell her how disappointed you are that she did not take the work seriously. Explain how her lack of professionalism has put you in a bind, and you don’t appreciate it. She needs to know the impact that her inability to complete the work has meant for you. She also needs to understand that she has damaged her reputation. You cannot recommend her to others because she did not do her best for you.

After you talk to her, it’s time to pivot. Find someone who can help you get your work done.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to an after-work event about a month ago, and I agreed, primarily because I am trying to put myself out there more. (I tend to be a homebody.) It is a cocktail party to launch the fall season in my industry.

The crazy thing is, I just got another invitation for the same evening to another event, and the second one sounds way better than the first. The second one has an amazing guest and sponsor list. It looks great. Both are receptions, not sit-down dinners. I really want to go to the second one. It feels like a better fit. I suppose I could go to both and split my time, but I don’t really want to do that. What do you think is best? -- Making a Choice, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR MAKING A CHOICE: Ideally, you should go to the event that you first accepted. If there is enough time between now and that activity, though, you can reach out to the organizer and say that you can no longer attend. Thank them for the invitation and wish them well. As you mentioned, you can also choose to spend a bit of time at both events. If they are not too far apart, why not go to one for an hour and to the other for the second hour? Many people attend multiple events in an evening during the busy season. If you can manage that, you may discover two different groups of people and may make some meaningful connections at each. Plus, it’s great that two different entities want you at their events. Get out there and go to as many functions as you can. This can be beneficial to you socially and emotionally.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an acquaintance who is always complaining about not having enough money, yet she doesn’t work. Her husband is the principal breadwinner in her family. It is true that she stayed at home to take care of the kids when they were young, but they are now grown and married. It seems to me that she could figure out some way to earn a little money to help her household. She is accustomed to having a certain status, but that is long gone. Instead of doing something about her circumstances, she moans on and on about what she doesn’t have. I am tired of listening to it. Should I say something? -- Enough Already, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR ENOUGH ALREADY: Your friend sounds stuck. She once enjoyed a lifestyle that she and her husband can no longer support. Living in the moment can be hard when the present feels uncomfortable.

When she starts her moaning, point out that she does have options. If she needs more money, suggest that she look for a part-time job. She can think about what she is good at. Is she creative? Does she have administrative skills? There has to be something she can do that others would appreciate and potentially pay for.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a hard time saving any money. I work two minimum-wage jobs, and it’s not enough. I am the main one providing for my mama and my siblings. My mama was injured a few years ago, and she needs my help. My siblings range in age from 14 to 24. I know I should save for the future, but right now I hardly make enough to feed the family every week. What can I do to make things better? -- Need to Save, Milwaukee

DEAR NEED TO SAVE: I recently spoke with a financial planner, who explained that even in the worst circumstances, you should do your best to take 10 percent off of each check and put it in savings. Even when this seems impossible, she suggested that it is essential and worth it in the long run. When you are faced with what seems like insurmountable bills, get creative. What meals can you prepare that cost less? What can anyone else in the household do to bring in extra income? Talk to your family as a group, and brainstorm ways in which each person can help. Your siblings can mow lawns, clean houses, handle a paper route and other random jobs. You must encourage them all to take on a role that will help defray the expenses.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a freelancer who has great ideas but is always late. I cannot stand being late for meetings. I understand it can happen from time to time, but this is a regular occurrence for this woman. I have spoken to her about time management, and she always has an excuse. She has shown up for important client meetings late -- and nonchalant about it, to boot.

I have had to apologize to clients for her attitude and tardiness. Amazingly, when she finally gets in the room, she performs like crazy. Even the clients are enthralled with her. I don’t want to stop working with her, but I do need to figure out a way to inspire her to be on time. Any suggestions? -- On Time, Dallas

DEAR ON TIME: If this woman is valuable enough to you, trick her into being on time. Determine what her normal “late” means, and tell her that your meeting time is that many minutes earlier than planned. So, a 2 p.m. meeting might be scheduled for her at 1:30. If she shows up for the newly appointed time at your 2 p.m. on-time schedule, consider this a victory.

Ultimately, though, you will need to talk to her about reality. After she gets on board with scheduling, tell her how concerned you are that you had to fool her to get it right. Point out that in order to be successful in your business -- or any business -- she MUST be on time. Period.

If you want to add something positive, tell her how much your clients seem to appreciate her participation. You do not want her lateness to be a blemish on an otherwise stellar record.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)