DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger brother and I are 18 months apart. We have always been close. Lately, he has been acting a little out of character. I think he is having a midlife crisis. He recently bought a new car that was way out of his budget, and he is now thinking about quitting his job. He has been working at the same company for 15 years. I'm not sure why he would quit or what could be sparking these changes. Do you have any idea of how I can help him? Do I intervene to prevent him from messing up his life? -- Midlife Crisis, Sarasota, Florida

DEAR MIDLIFE CRISIS: Invite your brother to get together. Then express your concerns. Ask him what’s going on. Do your best to get him to open up. You want to learn what’s in his head, so you have to resist talking too much. Hear him out. Challenge him on ideas that you do not think are sound. This includes quitting a job without a plan in place. Find out what happened that precipitated the idea. Suggest that he savor the moment, take a vacation and be present for what’s next. Recommend that he give himself a 90-day waiting period to be sure that he feels the same and has gotten his life in order before resigning.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For some reason, I just can’t get out of a funk I’ve been in for the past couple of weeks. Some days I’ll feel fine, and then other days I’ll be down. I know I'm not depressed and I don’t need to be medicated, but when I feel down, I don’t want to do anything or see anyone.

My mom suggested that I go see someone just to talk about everything that has been going on in my life, but I feel stupid going. There hasn’t been anything upsetting or tragic in my life, so I don’t understand what I would even talk about or say when nothing has happened. Maybe it’s because I just graduated from college and don’t have a job yet, or that my boyfriend will be moving away. But why is my sadness coming in waves? What do you suggest I do? -- Always in a Funk, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR ALWAYS IN A FUNK: What we have learned in the wake of too many suicide attempts is that many people are suffering from depression and are often disguising their pain or not even recognizing how significant it is. I am not suggesting that you are suicidal, but I do want you to take this state of mind that you are in seriously. It is smart that you are speaking up. Seek professional help right now. You can talk about anything and everything that is on your mind with a mental health professional. It should help you to process what’s happening in your life and deal with the wave of emotions that you are feeling. You are experiencing a lot of change now. It is natural for you to be emotional about these things. Get help in learning how to deal with it all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Why am I always so jealous? My boyfriend moved to Houston last November. I live in Boston, so we have been doing long-distance for some time. We visit each other every two to three weeks, so it’s not as bad as it could be.

Just last week, my boyfriend's company hired two new women to work alongside him. I don’t know why this bothers me and makes me jealous, but it does. Since last week, my boyfriend has gotten dinner and drinks with them to introduce and welcome them to the company. I know they are colleagues, so this shouldn’t upset me, but it does. One of them even asked if he would come to her birthday party with her friends. My boyfriend has done nothing to make me not trust him, so why does his hanging out with these women make me jealous? Am I crazy and possessive? -- Jealous Girlfriend, Boston

DEAR JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND: What you have described sounds like a normal working relationship with colleagues. If this is all that's going on with him and his co-workers, then it is you who have the problem. It is understandable that you feel insecure about being so far away from your boyfriend -- yes, it is possible that he could become attracted to someone else, but it is not a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Do a self-assessment. You need to figure out if you can handle your boyfriend living his life and interacting with co-workers and others without you assuming the worst about what might happen. If you are unable to accept his life as it is and you still want to be with him, you need to talk to your boyfriend about other options. Specifically, if both of you want to be together and commit to a joined life, you may need to move to the town where he lives and actively build a life together. You need his buy-in for this. If he does not agree, your choice will be to learn to trust him and accept the way he lives his life or step away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year, I am invited to go to a summer party. It is hosted at a friend’s house on Long Island. This year, one of my girlfriends asked if she could come to the party as well. Although she is one of my best friends, I'm hesitant about inviting her because she always drinks too much at these events and makes a fool of herself, which, in turn, makes a fool of me. I don't think she fully understands that if I invite her, both of our reputations are on the line. I'm not sure what to do here. Do I tell my friend she can't come and risk creating drama between her and me, or should I invite her and risk her actions embarrassing me? -- Embarrassed Friend, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR EMBARRASSED FRIEND: It is time to draw that proverbial line in the sand. Contact your friend and schedule a get-together. Tell her that you will not be inviting her to the party this year because you cannot trust her behavior. Describe to her how she has acted in the past and how heartbreaking and embarrassing it has been for her and for you. Suggest that she get help. She can go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, which is a free option. She can also consider a rehab treatment program, which can work if she has insurance. The point is to encourage her to get help now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a feeling that one of my co-workers is an alcoholic. I work for a company in the food and beverage industry, and we have a lot of alcoholic beverage clients, which means we have a lot of liquor displayed in the office. We are all welcome to take whatever we want, but no one does -- except for one woman. She frequents the company’s liquor cabinet and has a drink every day. She doesn’t drink in the morning, but as soon as it's the afternoon, she pours herself a mixed drink. I feel this is abnormal, and I’m wondering if I should mention it to someone. What do you think I should do about this situation? -- Alcoholic Co-Worker, Boston

DEAR ALCOHOLIC COWORKER: You should leave this alone. Unless this woman is harming herself at work, is unable to do her job or is disrupting things, her drinking is none of your business. Chances are, others have noticed that she is the one who is sipping on the job. She may be an alcoholic, but that is her problem. If you befriend her, you could give her a heads-up that people notice that she frequents the liquor cabinet. But don’t take it to the boss. Let the story unfold as it will.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister recently had surgery. It was an emergency surgery, so everything happened quickly. When she was in the hospital, one of the things she asked me was to not let my dad bring his girlfriend. They do not get along, and my sister didn’t see the need for his girlfriend to be there. I told my dad this over and over again, but he kept bringing his girlfriend into the hospital room where my sister was. I did not want to cause a scene because my sister was still recovering, but I think what he did was selfish. How do I bring up this conversation and my dad’s actions in the right way? -- Unwanted Hospital Visit, Seattle

DEAR UNWANTED HOSPITAL VISIT: Ask your father if you can get together to talk. Tell him how selfish and unkind you thought he was to directly ignore your sister’s request for his girlfriend NOT to come to the hospital. Tell him that you want to have a healthy relationship with him, but he is making it difficult by not honoring your sister's wishes.

It is probably tough for him to tell his girlfriend to stay away. What this points to is the need for a heart-to-heart with him and your sister. What is the issue with his girlfriend? You need to spell it out. Don’t expect your father to walk away from her. Instead, ask him to respect your boundaries.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)