DEAR READERS: On this day that we celebrate the independence of our country, I want to appeal to the best within us. The promise of our great nation is at risk. Too many frightening occurrences are happening on our watch. We need to do something. It seems that we have been at war with one another and most of the world for too long. These days, the tensions have escalated. I often wake up in fear of what the headlines will reveal about our country’s behavior during the hours that I was sleeping. I hold my breath before I glance at my smartphone or turn on the news.

This is not the way to live. Yes, we have fought many battles to make ourselves a more perfect union. Yes, there are many blemishes that we cannot overlook. But as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. suggested, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

What does justice look like? How can we claim justice in our daily lives? I just listened to 40 middle school students speak at my daughter’s eighth-grade graduation. In her school, there is a strong social justice civics program from preschool all the way through middle school. The teachers encourage the children to learn about both major political parties and to learn their philosophies. They had a mock presidential election in 2016, and a mock Congress this year, where the students immerse themselves in the roles and processes involved in each so that they can understand how government works. They visited our nation’s capital and met with leaders on both sides of the aisle, including Reps. John Lewis (D-Georgia) and Will Hurd (R-Texas) to gain firsthand knowledge of the legislative process.

These students from our New York City liberal-minded school then participated in multiple conversations with students from a conservative-minded rural school in Virginia. Both sides started out wearing the veil of stereotypical thinking. By the end, both sets of students gained a better understanding and compassion for the other side. They spoke to the humanity in each other and, in turn, considered how they could possess certain ideologies and beliefs.

I know all of this because many of the students at graduation spoke about how their eyes were opened to differences and how they became able to respectfully disagree or become more flexible in their approach to some delicate hot-button issues after talking openly with these kids.

I walked away from that graduation feeling hopeful that our children will lead the way. They were strong, clear, articulate and focused. But we cannot rely on them. We must carry the torch of goodness right now. We must shine a light on injustice and point our steps toward creating a better world for ourselves and future generations. We need to make it possible to turn on the news with ease, without holding our breath, because uplifting messages are beginning to flow again. It is our responsibility. This is how we maintain our independence and respect around the world. Now is the time for action, for healing. It is our duty to maintain our nation as a beacon of hope, grace and possibility for each other and for the world.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle just passed away. He was killed in a drive-by shooting not far from his house. He wasn’t involved in a gang; he was in the wrong place at wrong time. My mom was close with him and hasn’t been coping well. The police have no leads. Nobody is paying for this senseless murder.

My uncle was a single man without children, so it’s just like he’s gone. That’s it. It’s almost like he never existed. My mom can’t handle it. She’s been drinking a lot and crying. How can I be there for her during this hard time? -- Worried and Mourning, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR WORRIED AND MOURNING: What a horrible tragedy. Of course your mother is devastated. Her grief is natural, and it should pass in time. You are wise to seek help, though. Encourage your mother to get counseling from your church or community center. She can also receive counseling through an online therapist. Check out betterhelp.com, a website that matches people with counselors based on their needs. In this way, for a fee that is often lower than average therapy costs, she can get help without leaving home.

You can also encourage your mother to see friends and family members. Suggest to loved ones that they come over to visit. They may need to be pushy at first in order to get her attention.

Finally, check with the local precinct to see if there is a status change about finding your uncle’s killer. If the case can be solved, that would at least give your mother some sense of justice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got kicked out of my house. My parents and I got into an argument, and they said I can’t stay there anymore. I’m 23 years old and trying to get my life together, but it’s taking time. I’ve been staying with my friend and his family for a couple of weeks. I am working, but not enough to get my own place. I don’t want to take advantage of their hospitality, but I’m not stable enough to go anywhere else. How do I show them how thankful I am? -- Struggling to Make It, Bronx, New York

DEAR STRUGGLING TO MAKE IT: Thank goodness you were rescued by your friend and his family. What you can do is be a great houseguest. That means volunteer to have chores that you are responsible for each week. Perhaps there are daily duties you can accept as well. Keep your area tidy, and be mindful of common areas. Give your host family space, meaning when everyone is at home, make sure you make yourself scarce at least part of the time. They should feel like they can be free to engage each other without you for at least part of each day. This doesn’t mean you should hide out. Instead, choose to spend some time in your room or in a part of the home where you can have some privacy as you give them space to live their lives as usual.

Meanwhile, save your money. Tell the family your strategy and timeline for moving on. Keep them apprised of your progress.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am being deported back to Mexico within the next few weeks. My kids are legal citizens here, so they will be able to stay with my mother. I’m scared to leave them because who knows when I’ll see them again. I have two daughters, and my youngest wants to come with me. How do I explain that she'll have a better life here, even if I’m in Mexico? -- Scared to Separate, Los Angeles

DEAR SCARED TO SEPARATE: During this period of intense focus on border patrol and deportation, I want to say that I am sorry that you have to leave this country. Since you do, you have some research to complete, and fast. Do you know where you are going when you get home? Is there someone there to receive you or a safe place you can go? Even though you do not want to, would you be able to take your daughter with you and care for her? You need to figure out your options. Even though it feels terrible now -- because it is -- it may be better for her to stay with you. Talk to your family members in Mexico, and determine what your options are upon your return.

If you continue to believe your daughter should stay with your mother, sit her down and explain what you expect her future to be -- and that you will be there for her, albeit from afar. If you can, set up a plan to talk to her via Skype or other video technology so that you can stay connected after you are separated. Consider free international calling via WhatsApp or other similar apps.

I am not trying to diminish how dire this situation is. When you talk to your daughter, do your best to calm and empower her to understand that your mother will take care of her, if that is your ultimate decision.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave birth to my son a few days ago, and he is the sweetest angel. He was born with one lung, which is causing his heart to work too hard. He’s scheduled to have surgery in a couple of days. There are a lot of things that could go wrong, and I wouldn’t know what to do if my sweet boy passed. How do my husband and I stay positive during this hard time? -- Frightened New Mother, Cincinnati

DEAR FRIGHTENED NEW MOTHER: Start by counting your blessings. Your son is alive and fighting to stay that way. Surgeons have the skill and understanding of how to care for children with this medical challenge. For you to stay calm and trust that your son can have a positive outcome requires you to believe that a miracle can happen. For me, that translates into faith. I will not presume what your religious or spiritual background is, but I will assure you that asking your higher power to bless your son and your family during this harrowing journey may help you tremendously. You can also ask your loved ones to pray for your son to get the medical attention and healing that he needs. Do not discount the power of positive intention, prayer and faith.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)