DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started a new job. I am a salaried employee, which means I don’t get paid anything extra for any overtime hours. When I accepted the job, I was told the hours varied based on how much work you get done each day, but generally I'd work from 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m.

I’ve been working here only a week, but every day, most the office stays past 6. I feel awkward getting up and leaving at 6, considering I’m the only one and I’m new. Do you think I should talk to the CEO to go over my hours again? -- Leaving Early, New York City

DEAR LEAVING EARLY: I can tell you the legal reality of your situation and also what’s practical. Legally, if you do not get paid overtime, you do not have to work extra hours. You are working the hours that were specified for you when you were hired.

That said, in my personal experience, I have always worked the extra hours, coming in early and leaving late. Nobody told me to do this, but it served me well. I know that this has been true for other people, too. If your job is one that has space to rise up the ladder, you want to show your boss that you are a team player who is willing to go the distance.

For now, I recommend that you follow your boss’s work schedule. Arrive before or at the same time he or she arrives, and leave when your boss leaves. Your dedication to the work and obvious interest in being a team player will be noticed. It may take time before you are rewarded financially for your commitment, but chances are it will come. Patience is key here. If you are able to be patient and learn the ropes as you prove your value to the company, you will create the opportunity for you to soar.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been friends with my best friend since we were 8 years old. She’s more like a sister than a friend. We’re now both in college, but remain very close. Whenever I FaceTime her, call her or even go to visit her at college, her roommate gives me the cold shoulder. She is rude to me for no reason, and we don’t get along. It may sound weird, but I think she gets jealous of how close my friend and I are. How do I handle this situation so that it's not awkward every time we see each other? -- Battle of the Friends, Philadelphia

DEAR BATTLE OF THE FRIENDS: As friends make transitions in their lives, many interpersonal dynamics change. That includes how you interact as young adults compared to as little girls. Both you and your best friend need to figure out how to stay close without alienating her roommate. Why? Because her roommate is there every day, and your friend must cultivate a way to live with her peacefully.

This does not mean that you should walk away from your friendship. You should work together to make the roommate feel welcome when you are together. Include her when you talk via FaceTime and especially when you are together. You may even want to speak to her together about starting over so that you can get along better. Sometimes calling out the elephant in the room is helpful.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My older brother got hit by a bus a couple of months ago, and he is now paralyzed from his waist down. The doctors say there is a possibility that he can regain motion in his legs and possibly walk in time, which is great news. It’s been hard to see him go through this; he has been depressed and negative, which is understandable. He used to be such a positive, happy person, and I want to get him back to that place, regardless of his current situation. How can I make him see that the more positive he is, the more likely he is to heal? -- Helping My Brother, Denver

DEAR HELPING MY BROTHER: As difficult as your brother’s injury is, the blessing remains that he is alive and that he may be able to walk again. This is something you can remind him of, especially when he is feeling down.

It is natural for your brother to feel a range of emotions now. The five stages of grief are often part of the healing process for someone with a spinal cord injury. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It is too soon for your brother to have worked through each stage. If you can get him psychological support, that should help guide him through his emotions as he also gets help with strengthening his physical body. To get support, visit christopherreeve.org/get-support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently signed up for a dating app, but I’m embarrassed about it. I’ve always wanted to meet someone spontaneously on the street or at a party -- never through an app. It’s hard for older women to find someone to date. I’m a bit uncomfortable with the whole idea, but my friends who are around my age -- mid-50s -- have been on it and told me I should give it a try. Do you think it’s worth a shot? -- Single Girl of a Certain Age, Seattle

DEAR SINGLE GIRL OF A CERTAIN AGE: Go for it! Many people meet potential dates through apps these days. I get that it seems impersonal, but you can definitely meet someone.

Be clear that you must vet the people with whom you match. Start by asking for referrals for dating apps that your friends have liked. Once you sign up, review the matches suggested to you carefully. Ask questions of any potential suitors to get a better sense of who they are. When you do go on a date, choose a public area where you will feel safe, but one that is quiet enough for you to hear yourselves talk.

Conversely, you can also expand your activity base. Choose to put yourself out there by participating in classes and other activities in your city that interest you and that attract people who share your interests. Many people meet at these occasions as well. I know a 70-year-old woman who just found a fascinating suitor because she decided to stop staying home and go out to explore the world. You can, too!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The 10-year anniversary of my brother's death is coming up, and I want to do something special in his memory. He was 15 when one of his classmates shot up his school. My brother was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I still remember the day like it was yesterday; it was shocking. My mom and dad struggled a lot with his death, and I want to show them that he will always be with us. What is a meaningful thing to do on the anniversary of his death? -- Remembering My Brother, Chicago

DEAR REMEMBERING MY BROTHER: I am so sorry for your loss. Even though your brother left this world 10 years ago, I imagine that the wound still feels fresh. Given the tragic way your brother died, it would be impossible for you to have resolution about his death.

One thing you might consider at the 10-year anniversary is to establish a scholarship in your brother's name. It could be connected to his favorite sports club, his school or a college of his dreams. You can decide, but that is a wonderful way to have an ongoing memory of him that extends beyond the family.

If you want to do something smaller, consider hosting a family dinner where you present a photo album of photos and items that reflect your brother’s life. You can make the album yourself, or you can create it online and have it printed at a place like Walgreens, Costco or Shutterfly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is leaving for the military soon, and I’m not ready to see her go. She has been assigned to Germany for eight months, where she will be studying and receiving training. I’m scared to let my little girl go so far away to a place where she’s never been -- and to the military, of all things, which is known to discriminate against women. How can I keep myself calm during this time in her life? -- Military Bound, Lexington, Kentucky

DEAR MILITARY BOUND: It is natural for you to feel anxious about your daughter going off to start her independent life, which is exacerbated by her choice being the military. The good news is that the military is very disciplined, which should be good for your daughter in terms of developing skills that will support her life. She will grow stronger and more focused.

In terms of discrimination against women, sadly, many governmental and private industry organizations still struggle with prejudiced practices that need to be addressed. The good news is that the military is making an effort to be more equitable in the way that it treats its members. Talk to your daughter about being cautious and aware of her surroundings. Encourage her to step into her training fully so that she can learn everything and have a full, dynamic experience. It is time for you to let her go and for her to start living her life independent of you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)