DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been insecure about my lips, so I’ve been thinking about getting lip injections. All my friends have nice, full lips -- so does my mom! -- but unfortunately, I don’t. My lips are so thin that you can hardly see them. When I’m out, I always hide my lips or look down because I’m embarrassed by how I look. I want to feel beautiful and be confident.

My mother thinks I look beautiful as I am and doesn’t support my decision, but I’m 18, and I can make this decision on my own. Do you think if it makes me feel more confident I should get the lip injections? -- Not Beautiful, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR NOT BEAUTIFUL: You are not going to like my answer. Honestly, I think that rarely does getting something like lip injections or plastic surgery transform a person’s self-image. This is because the root cause is typically much deeper than physical appearance. We all have positive attributes as well as some that we don’t love. Being able to embrace our fullness -- including our less desirable aspects -- is a part of life.

That said, of all the things you might consider doing to change your physical appearance, getting lip injections is one of the least invasive. Check with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to do this. If you go ahead with it, find a health professional who is qualified to offer this procedure.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of four siblings, and the eldest son. My father and I do not get along at all. He puts an immense amount of pressure on me to do well in every aspect of my life. Now, I understand that parents need to put pressure on their children for them to succeed, but the extremely high standards my father has for me are driving me crazy. For example, I grow facial hair quickly. I hate shaving and enjoy having a beard. Every time I see my father, we get into a massive argument about my beard and how it is unprofessional to have a beard. This is just one example of how petty our arguments are and how our entire relationship is based on pressure and fighting. Do you have any advice on how I can create a better relationship with my dad? -- Constantly Arguing, Ithaca, New York

DEAR CONSTANTLY ARGUING: Do your best to consider your father’s perspective. When he was growing up, a clean-shaven man was a successful man. Honestly, that is still commonly true, though, thanks to Prince Harry, who got married wearing a full beard, it’s clear that times are changing!

Your job is to listen and learn from your father as you also pave your own way. If you have identified a field of work that allows you to wear a beard, let your father know that. Similarly, consider each of your father’s recommendations seriously. Do your best not to judge his suggestions. Think about how you might incorporate what he has said into your own plan. When it works, be sure to tell him. When it doesn’t, stay your course. Do know that what your father is attempting to do is to keep you safe and capable of building a successful life for yourself. Some of his advice is worth considering; don’t make the mistake of dismissing what he has to say.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My semester ends in a week, and I’m dreading going back home. I live with my mom, little brother and older sister, and we all have a tough relationship with our mother. She was born and raised in Guinea and moved here after my sister was born. She has always shown us tough love, and it was hard growing up. It’s challenging for her to provide for us all the time, and there isn’t always food at home, which leaves us hungry all day. At school, having a scholarship and meal plan helps a lot, and my friends always make sure I eat if I ever run out of money. I want to find a job, but my mother doesn’t allow it because she thinks I’m too young. How do I make her see it’s necessary for me to work? -- Difficult to Adjust, Phoenix

DEAR DIFFICULT TO ADJUST: Sit down with your mother and thank her for working so hard to make it possible for you to go to college and build a life for yourself. Point out that you know how difficult it is for her to make ends meet. Tell her that you respect her and the family, and to that end, it’s time for you to help out. You know she is worried about your age, but tell her that many young people work in this country, from as early as 14 years old. My guess is that young people probably work from an even earlier age in her country, out of necessity. Ask her to give you a chance to help the family.

You might look for a work-study option. It’s late, but you may be able to find something.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company has been firing people because it isn’t doing all that well and cannot pay workers. I started to look for other jobs, but many places aren’t hiring. I’m worried that I will be fired next and won’t have a backup job.

I have been putting in extra hours and I’m one of the best workers here, but I have a child on the way and this would be the worst time possible to lose my job. Should I set up a meeting with my boss letting him know that I need this job because of my current situation with my family? -- Worried Sick, Minneapolis

DEAR WORRIED SICK: It is smart for you to talk to your boss, but what you should emphasize is that you are a team player, dedicated to the company and willing to help in as many ways as you can through this tough period. Point out that you know there have been some layoffs, and you are sensitive to the challenges the company is facing. Make it clear that you want to go the distance with them. Ask how you can be of service. Within that context, you can remind your boss that you will soon have a child. Even so, you are all in regarding being a team player. Don’t stop looking, though. Keep your options open.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is 16 years old. She is in her second year of high school and is a very sweet, compassionate, caring girl. She is currently dating a senior boy who is 18.

I am afraid my daughter is in an unhealthy relationship with her boyfriend. I do not believe he physically abuses her, but I feel like he emotionally bullies her into doing whatever he wants. I don’t like his personality at all, let alone their age difference.

I want to help my daughter, but I don’t know where to begin at all. Coming from her father, I want to be there for her and protect her from getting hurt, but I also don’t want to seem overprotective. Do you have any advice for a father trying to talk to his daughter about a sensitive topic? -- Scared Father, Bronxville, New York

DEAR SCARED FATHER: You should tread lightly here, because people who feel they are in love don’t listen well. Plus, unfortunately, daughters often seem immune to their fathers’ advice at the very moment when they need it the most.

One way you may get her to hear you is to tell her stories -- true stories -- about your life in the dating world and any missteps that you or your friends may have experienced. Give her examples of controlling men and how they can mess up women’s emotional well-being. Tell her you are concerned about the way that her boyfriend is treating her and that you would be a bad dad if you didn’t mention it. Assure her that you will support her no matter what, but encourage her to balance her time with other friends.

Stay aware of her behavior and her free time, to the best of your ability. If she is willing to talk to you, be a good listener and do not judge. She may have to get her heart broken before she learns her lesson. Remain close so that you can help soften the blow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved into a new apartment. The space was originally a two-bedroom apartment, but my roommates and I converted the living room into another “bedroom,” so the space now sleeps three. Although I knew this decision would mean living space would be tight, my roommate who lives in the living room is taking up too much space. Not only is her bed in the middle of the room, but she is extremely messy, so her things are strewn all over the apartment! I don’t want to criticize her way of living, but at the same time I need to tell her to clean up her things. Do you know how I can talk to her without offending her? -- Messy Roommate Problems, Akron, Ohio

DEAR MESSY ROOMMATE PROBLEMS: Request a household meeting -- something that would be good to do on a weekly basis anyway. Remind your roommates that you are living in a tight space and that it’s important for everyone to work hard to maintain some order. Suggest a task you will do, and ask each roommate to pitch in. To the messy one, remind her that she lives in a common space, and you all need her to be tidier.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)