DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance is a recovering drug addict. When I say those words out loud, it still scares me, but he has been sober for more than two years now, and we have a great relationship.

The past couple of months, my boyfriend has been expressing to me that he wants to drink alcohol again. He never had a problem with alcohol, but when becoming sober, he cut out all toxic things in his life, including alcohol. He says he thinks he’s at a place in his life where he can control his drinking, and he wants to be able enjoy a glass of wine at dinner with me. I don’t have a problem with that, but it scares me that he may relapse with drugs if he starts drinking again. Do you think alcohol can be a “gateway drug” in the sense that it would open a door to my fiance using drugs again? -- Concerned About Fiance Relapsing, Atlanta

DEAR CONCERNED ABOUT FIANCE RELAPSING: You should be concerned about your fiance possibly relapsing if he decides to drink alcohol. While you cannot control your boyfriend, you can recommend that he speak to an addiction counselor. If he has a sponsor from his drug addiction therapy, he should speak to that person about his thoughts.

You may want to curb your own drinking so that your boyfriend isn’t tempted to have a glass of wine with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in Boston with three other roommates in a great apartment in the middle of the city. My grandparents are coming into town next weekend from Ohio. I haven’t seen them in a couple of years, so I am excited. They have planned a dinner with my roommates and me one of nights they are here. The problem I am having is that my grandfather is old-fashioned in the sense he is extremely homophobic, and one of my roommates is gay.

I want my roommate to feel proud of who he is when introducing himself to my grandfather, and I don’t want him to feel hurt by whatever comments my grandfather may make at dinner. What do you think I should do about these two people attending a dinner together? -- Scared for the Meeting, Boston

DEAR SCARED FOR THE MEETING: The best thing you can do is to prep your roommate. Make sure he is aware of your grandfather’s views on homosexuality and that he often speaks his mind. Chances are, your roommate has had his share of people giving their opinions about his sexual orientation. That doesn’t mean he will like the way your grandfather may behave, but it does mean it will likely not be a shock to him. Be prepared that your roommate may choose not to attend the dinner, knowing that your grandfather may be rude to him.

Apologize in advance for any inappropriate comments that your grandfather may make. As far as your grandfather goes, ask him to be kind to your roommates. Tell him how much you enjoy sharing the apartment with them and that you are proud to invite him to get to know them. I wouldn’t tell him that one of your roommates is gay. Just encourage him to be kind.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As high school prom season is approaching, my daughter and her friends are getting excited about the event. Some of my daughter’s friends have already found their dresses, booked their beauty appointments and secured their dates. My daughter has been asking me almost every day if I can book her a makeup and hair trial run appointment, as well as appointments for the real thing. I know that a senior prom is a big deal, and I want to make it the most special day for my daughter, but I just can’t afford all of these things. It’s hard for my daughter because she has the least wealthy parents out of all of her friends, which means she has to miss out on some things. How can I talk to my daughter about spending less money on prom without making it seem like I don’t want her to have everything? -- Mom Can't Afford It All, Denver

DEAR MOM CAN’T AFFORD IT ALL: I trust that you have talked to your daughter about the reality of your budget before now. She knows already that she cannot do everything that her friends can do. She is caught up in the hype of prom season right now and may need a gentle reminder. You two can get creative and come up with alternative ways that she can have a great experience. For example, she can go to the makeup counter in a department store at the mall and get her makeup done for a small fee or for the cost of a few beauty products. She can even do that on the day of the prom to cut down on costs. You can also check local hair salons to see if they offer special packages for prom, like bundling hair and makeup. She may not get to have a trial run, but it may be possible for her to have professional services. As far as clothing, consider using Rent the Runway. For a nominal cost, she can wear a gorgeous dress and then return it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am graduating from medical school this spring. I have invited both of my parents, my siblings, and so far, only one set of my grandparents. I am very close with my paternal grandparents, but not close at all with my maternal grandparents. Is it OK for me to invite only one set of grandparents to my graduation, or should I invite both and skip the drama and backlash? What would you do in this situation? I want to go about it so the fewest number of people get hurt, but I also want to be happy since it is my graduation. -- Grandparents at Graduation, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR GRANDPARENTS AT GRADUATION: You should invite all of the grandparents. You will not want to have it on your conscience that you excluded your maternal grandparents. Given that you are not close, they may decide not to come. But if they do attend, be sure to pay attention to them as well as the rest of the family. You can also ask your family to look out for them.

Graduating from medical school is a tremendous accomplishment. You should be happy. Your family will be proud of you -- including all of your grandparents.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was younger, my dad took my siblings and me to church every Sunday. We attended the hourlong mass and then went to Sunday school afterward. I attended a private Catholic elementary school, which incorporated some religious practices into the school curriculum.

I am now 26 years old, and I haven’t gone to church in years. I feel disconnected from my religion, and I want to start attending mass again. I think going to church might help me clear my head -- especially now that I am going through a rough time in my life. How can I get involved in church again? -- Can I Be Religious Again?, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR CAN I BE RELIGIOUS AGAIN: It is common for young adults to distance themselves from the religious practices they grew up in, only to come to a moment when they realize that faith is important in their lives. You are at that point, and it is up to you to embrace the religious practice that will support and guide your steps. You have no reason to feel ashamed or uneasy about immersing yourself in your religious practice and getting involved in your faith again.

Pay close attention and learn how to incorporate religious practice into your daily routine. You may want to keep a journal of observations about your life. Take note of how you handle challenging situations and see if incorporating religious rituals helps you to navigate them with greater ease.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I are just about to graduate from college. We attended different schools, but we both plan to move to New York City after graduation, since that is where both of our jobs are.

Recently, my boyfriend has been making comments about us moving in together once we graduate. As much as I love him, I don’t think I am ready to live with him. I want to experience living in the city with my girlfriends or living on my own. This is not to say that I never want to move in with my boyfriend or that I don’t think it will happen one day; I just don’t think right now is the right time. How do I express my concerns to my boyfriend without making it seem like I am doubting our relationship? -- Don't Want to Live With Boyfriend, Philadelphia

DEAR DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH BOYFRIEND: Well in advance of moving to New York City, you two should discuss your plans. Have you talked about marriage at all? If you think you will get married, you may want to add that to the discussion and point out that while you plan to spend your lives together, you want to live independent of him first. You want to learn to live on your own before settling down, so you are not ready to live with him yet -- that's all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)