DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance is a recovering drug addict. When I say those words out loud, it still scares me, but he has been sober for more than two years now, and we have a great relationship.
The past couple of months, my boyfriend has been expressing to me that he wants to drink alcohol again. He never had a problem with alcohol, but when becoming sober, he cut out all toxic things in his life, including alcohol. He says he thinks he’s at a place in his life where he can control his drinking, and he wants to be able enjoy a glass of wine at dinner with me. I don’t have a problem with that, but it scares me that he may relapse with drugs if he starts drinking again. Do you think alcohol can be a “gateway drug” in the sense that it would open a door to my fiance using drugs again? -- Concerned About Fiance Relapsing, Atlanta
DEAR CONCERNED ABOUT FIANCE RELAPSING: You should be concerned about your fiance possibly relapsing if he decides to drink alcohol. While you cannot control your boyfriend, you can recommend that he speak to an addiction counselor. If he has a sponsor from his drug addiction therapy, he should speak to that person about his thoughts.
You may want to curb your own drinking so that your boyfriend isn’t tempted to have a glass of wine with you.