DEAR HARRIETTE: I wanted to know your perspective on a gap year, or "summer of fun," when a student takes a year or a summer to relax before he or she starts a full-time job in the real world. I am about to graduate college and hope to secure a job after graduation. Recently, I have been thinking I should take the summer to hang out, travel and spend time with my family and friends. A lot of my friends plan on doing this, so I know it’s common, but I’m not sure if it is the best move. As a businesswoman, what is your take on going straight to work? -- Summer of Work or Fun?, Dallas

DEAR SUMMER OF WORK OR FUN?: Theoretically, I like the idea of a summer of fun. Practically, I have very different thoughts. There are thousands of college graduates who begin to look for work even before senior year ends. Most jobs are highly competitive, and even though the economy seems to be improving, young people continue to have difficulty finding work immediately upon graduation. Assess how long you can afford to live without having a job. If your parents are willing to support you during your time off and the period it takes you to find a job, that time of fun and exploration could be worth it, as it also can give you fresh eyes with which to consider your future. If you cannot afford it, look for work now and take a vacation when you earn time off.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend’s birthday is this week, and I have planned on taking her out to dinner to celebrate. I asked her what restaurant she wanted to go to, and she told me to choose. I don’t want to make it obvious or make her feel bad, but the reality is that I don’t have a lot of money at the moment, and I cannot afford to spend too much on her birthday dinner. I have been researching places that are affordable, but I am afraid that she will think I’m being cheap or don’t want to give her a nice birthday dinner. Do you think I should just let the dinner happen and not mention anything about the money? -- Girlfriend's Birthday Dinner, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY DINNER: Your girlfriend may be more aware of your reality than you give her credit for. Get creative. Identify an affordable and fun or romantic restaurant to visit with your girlfriend. Add special touches like asking the waiter to bring a bottle of bubbly shortly after you two arrive. Select a special dessert and ask them to bring it with a lit candle. Your added touches that show how much you care can go much further than an expensive plate of food.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you prepare for a spontaneous job interview? I recently spoke with a radio executive, and he asked me about myself and whether I knew about his radio station and some of the local channels. I knew of the channels, but I wasn’t sure about the details. I felt so embarrassed. He said that he will forward my resume to the hiring manager for any potential positions, but how should I stay prepared for times like this? -- Ever-Ready Interviewee, Salisbury, Maryland

DEAR EVER-READY INTERVIEWEE: The way you stay ready for any interview is to remain up on current events and pay attention to your surroundings. While it is impossible for you to be knowledgeable about every subject, your general awareness of current events and local culture should help you to engage in smart conversations whenever they occur. Be mindful never to lie about what you know. Instead, when you so have a bit of knowledge, use that to participate in a conversation. Then pivot and start asking questions so that you can learn. For example, you could have said what you do know about the station, followed by a question about what he thinks the best programming is today or what he likes most about the station. Your follow-up to this man should include you doing research about the station so that when you write to him, you share something more that you have learned about the station that demonstrates your interest and enthusiasm about the company.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who comes in to my work; I don't speak to her much, but I know that she is a transgender woman. We usually just say “hello” and “goodbye.” Last week, we had a full conversation, and I accidentally said “he,” which is not her pronoun of choice. I felt horrible and apologized repeatedly. She understood, but I still feel bad.

This is something I've never had to face until now. I don't want to feel awkward around her because of the mistake I made. I don't have anything against the transgender community, but my mistake makes me feel like I’m insensitive, which is not true. How do I move on from my mistake? -- Transgender Stumble, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR TRANSGENDER STUMBLE: Move past your embarrassment at not having the language to be respectful to your client. Staying uncomfortable will only reinforce your ignorance next time you see this customer. Instead, do your research so that you can learn more about the transgender community and how to be supportive.

As far as language goes, you can use gender nonspecific pronouns. Saying “they” or “you” rather than “he” or “she” is common the days. Yes, it can be a bit confusing when it comes to grammar and number agreement, but it’s getting more common to be vague when referring to others. Many individuals have become “they” in contemporary speech. This is a safe way to avoid being gender specific when you aren’t sure.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a girlfriend for four years during college; we broke up about two years ago, and it ended badly. We are no longer on speaking terms. That being said, I will always care for her, and I like to hear that she is doing well.

Last week, one of our mutual friends informed me that my ex is sick. There is something wrong with her lungs, and she has been having trouble breathing on her own for the past month or so. When I first heard this, my heart hurt and my immediate reaction was to call her. I got no response, and then I wondered if it is my place to reach out. Under these circumstances, what is the right thing to do? -- Caring Ex-Boyfriend, Cincinnati

DEAR CARING EX-BOYFRIEND: I am sorry to hear about your ex-girlfriend’s health challenge. It was kind of you to reach out to her during this time of need. It is also important that you not have any expectations about how she might respond. Given that she is ill, she may not be able to reach back to you even if she wants to. It could also be true that she does not want to reopen that door in her life.

Send her a get-well card and keep her in your prayers. You should not continue to contact her, though. Give her space. If you feel comfortable staying in touch with the mutual friend you saw, check in periodically to see how your ex is doing and if you could be of help. Don’t be pushy, though.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been invited to a wedding this summer in Rhode Island as my fiance’s plus-one. The wedding is an orthodox Jewish wedding, and this will be the first religious wedding I have attended. I am unfamiliar with Jewish wedding traditions, and I'm struggling with what to wear. I have done some research online about appropriate attire, but I am a little confused because some sites say I need to cover my shoulders and knees, but others say they just need to be covered for the service, and I can be showier at the reception. I don’t want to offend anyone with my dress. What type of outfit do you recommend I wear to this orthodox Jewish summer wedding? -- Orthodox Wedding Attire, Denver

DEAR ORTHODOX WEDDING ATTIRE: For traditional weddings in general, you should have your shoulders and knees covered. Indeed, many women wear sheer hosiery so that their legs are not bare. In terms of attire for the reception, it’s best if you wear the same outfit. Your goal should be to dress modestly. If you wear a dress that is sleeveless, keep your shrug or shawl on until you get a cue from other women at the reception that you are free to remove it. Sometimes women can bare their shoulders while dancing. Don’t be the first to try that out, though. Observe others and follow their lead. You may feel more comfortable staying modest throughout the event.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)