DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to have a great relationship with my dad. Now, we barely speak. When we do speak, it is about money or something to do with my mother. (They have been divorced for several years now.) I am still in college, and my dad pays for part of my education. I am so sick and tired of that being all we talk about that I have decided not to answer my dad’s texts anymore. I’m not sure if this is the best or right decision because it can be seen as immature, but I don’t know what else to do. Do you think there is another way I could reconnect with my father without arguing about finances? -- Muted Daughter, Dallas

DEAR MUTED DAUGHTER: One way to get your father’s attention is to write him a sincere letter. Tell him that you try to understand his relationship with your mother, but that you don’t want to be in the middle of it. Acknowledge that you appreciate the fact that your father is helping to pay for your education. Make it clear that you understand that it is a sacrifice for him to take care of you. Yes, it is his duty as your father to support you, but that does not require paying for college. More, you want him to understand that you are grateful for whatever he does for you. Your gratitude may help to soften his communication.

In your letter, remind him of things you used to enjoy doing together or discussing. Tell him that you miss or desire a particular type of interaction that he will recall. Ask him to make the effort -- along with you -- to build a close bond as you grow up. Be kind in your note, not brittle. Your positive attitude may inspire him to step up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have decided to travel to my college in a couple of weeks to attend an important fundraiser. I am super excited about it because the cause means a lot to me, and I get to spend time with my friends. I have been debating how I should get there. Last time I drove myself, but the drive got lonely. There is a bus, which I don’t mind, but there is always a chance of it breaking down. And then there is the option to fly, which is the quickest and easiest option, but is a little pricier. Do you have any recommendations or advice on which mode of transportation I should take? -- Weekend Traveler, Philadelphia

DEAR WEEKEND TRAVELER: Good for you for wanting to go to visit your school for a worthy cause. How do you figure out the best mode of transportation? Be practical. Drive only if you can find someone to ride with you. If you do find a passenger, be sure to get the person to agree to share the cost of gas and tolls. Buses don’t usually break down -- although it is possible. Compare the bus to the plane and examine your budget. If you can afford a plane, go for it. Otherwise, schedule your bus trip in enough time to accommodate for delays.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started baby-sitting a new family in my neighborhood. The family has two boys, both under age 10. The first day I was there, I noticed that the younger boy seemed to be on the autistic disorder spectrum. I learned about some of the signs in my child psychopathology class in school and immediately associated them with the boy. I had a great time baby-sitting the kids, and I am looking forward to working with them again. The only thing that is bothering me is that the parents did not let me know this beforehand. Not that I would have a problem with babysitting a child with autism, but I think I would have appreciated it if the parents had told me that before.

Now I am wondering if the parents are aware of this at all. Do you think it is appropriate for me to bring up this topic with the parents? -- Worried Baby Sitter, Denver

DEAR WORRIED BABY SITTER: Tread lightly here. First, know that many families do not detect that their children are on the spectrum until late. Doctors say that it is best to detect and treat early so that you can help your child to learn to function at the highest level possible. According to the American Autism Association, these are some signs of autism: will not play “pretend” games, avoids eye contact, has delayed speech, has obsessive interests, avoids physical contact and demonstrates little safety or danger awareness. For more signs, go to: nationalautismassociation.org/resources/signs-of-autism/.

If you have noticed some of these signs, you should mention to one or both parents that you have concerns. Explain that you have been studying this in school and have noticed symptoms that made you question whether this child might need some support. Be careful not to use judgmental language. Be positive and empathetic. Do not push them if they are unwilling to consider your thoughts right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I just got into a huge argument about something very stupid. I am in a different state, where I just started a new job. I don’t know very many people here, so when I was asked by a female co-worker to go to a basketball game with a group a people, I jumped at the opportunity. I told my girlfriend that I was invited and that the group was mostly women. She totally flipped out on me, and said it was rude of me to be going to an event with mainly women.

I do not know how to handle this because I thought she would see that I want to try and make new friends here, and if it happens to be by going to a basketball game with female co-workers, then why does it come off as rude? -- Am I In the Wrong?, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR AM I IN THE WRONG?: Dating long-distance is often difficult. What is required is that you trust each other to make smart decisions. This includes who you spend time with. Going to a game with a group of female co-workers should not be an issue, in theory. To quiet this storm, apologize for being insensitive -- in her mind. Assure her that your co-workers are nice and not trying to make a move on you. Ask your girlfriend to trust you. Keep talking about your lives and choices. Time will tell if you can manage the distance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends are planning a trip to Florida for spring break. As much as I would love to go with them and spend a week in the sun, I am hoping that I will be asked to work that week. My friends keep asking me to book my flights and get the trip organized, but I have yet to do so. Although there is not a guarantee that I will be asked by the family I nanny for to watch their kids that week, I would rather stay home and save the money.

I want to either a) work through my spring break with the family, or b) stay home, not participate in any spring break plans and save the money. With either option, I need to break it to my friends that I won’t be coming to Florida with them. How do I do this without making it seem like I’m ditching their plans just to avoid spending time with them? -- Spring Breaker, Philadelphia

DEAR SPRING BREAKER: You owe it to your friends to be honest with them. It is likely that they need a certain number of participants in order to make the trip affordable. You are clear that you do not intend to go, so tell them you are so sorry, but you won’t be attending. Tell them the truth -- you hope to be working that week and that if your employer does not hire you, you still need to stay home and save money. Though your friends will be disappointed, they all have to understand expenses. Be transparent. Saying you can’t afford it is real. Being responsible for yourself is smart. Being responsible to your friends is thoughtful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. We’ve been doing things this way for a while now, and it is difficult. One of the biggest problems is scheduling trips to see each other. I recently returned from a weekend visit with him, but one of the things that has not left my mind is the fact that we don’t have another time scheduled to see each other. This may just be my planner-personality, but I always want to discuss when the next time we will see each other is going to be. My boyfriend, on the other hand, does not think this way. I want him to be the one to bring up scheduling another visit, or make a plan, but I don’t want to push him. What do I do? How do I get my significant other to start making our plans? -- The Planner, Portland, Oregon

DEAR THE PLANNER: You have to manage your expectations and understanding of how the two of you operate in your relationship. If you have always been the one to create the schedule, it is unrealistic to believe that suddenly your boyfriend will become that person. It is unfair to resent your boyfriend for behavior patterns that the two of you have established over time.

Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. Ask him if he would be willing to plan a visit or at least plan along with you. More likely to be successful, though, is if you speak up and talk about when you might see each other next. Be proactive, and if your boyfriend pushes back, tell him you would love for him to plan it, but since he hasn’t, you just want to map out a schedule.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)