DEAR HARRIETTE: I am what we call middle-aged. I just turned 50, and it is unnerving me. I thought my life would be different than it is. Don't get me wrong -- things are OK. I am a single mom of an irritable teenage daughter. I have a good job and a nice home, but I am kind of bored with my life. When I was younger, I thought I would be living very differently by now.

I hate that I sound like I’m having a midlife crisis. I’ve heard about that, of course. Now I’m thinking there must be some truth to it. I am stressed and sad most of the time. I snap at my daughter on a daily basis, and I don’t know how to get out of this spiral of emotions. -- SOS, Dallas

DEAR SOS: Questioning your life’s choices and value is common for men and women around your age. And, yes, it can be daunting to live through a period when things seem hopeless, stagnant or boring. Add to that a child who is discovering herself and pushing the boundaries, and you have a recipe for daily discomfort. One thing that could make you feel somewhat better is acknowledging that you are not alone. Many people suffer from similar feelings and attitudes at this stage in their lives. That said, if you cannot shake off the negativity, get some help. That can include professional support, like going to a therapist. You can also add an activity to your schedule that you consider fun. Pick a hobby, class or outing that you can do every week, either alone or with a friend, that will break your current patterns and get you to think differently about your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Mostly I communicate with people via email or text. I realized recently that I hardly ever talk to people on the phone.

Given that, I don’t understand why people who know me hardly ever spell my name right. I have a slightly different spelling than the average person, but some of the people who misspell my name have very unusual names that I get right. I find this annoying. It is my name, for crying out loud. I often send a little reminder note at the end of a communication pointing out the correct spelling of my name. Even then, people often don’t take the time to spell it right in the next communication. What can I do to get people to care? -- Spell My Name Right, Cleveland

DEAR SPELL MY NAME RIGHT: I suffer from the same problem. There are three ways to spell my name, mine being the longest and most old-fashioned, I think. I have done the same thing as you: In a pleasant FYI, I tell the person my correct spelling followed by a smiley face. It works less than half the time.

Here’s something you can test out. For someone who is not a business associate -- as you don’t want to beta test with your livelihood -- misspell that person’s name in your communication. Hopefully the person will notice and say something, to which you can say, “See how it feels?! Now, would you please try to spell my name right?” It’s worth a shot.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend (of six years) and I have been living together for three years. He is great, and I love living with him. He works at a suit store as the manager, and he enjoys what he does. However, recently he has been talking to one of his buddies about joining his startup tech company. When my boyfriend talks about this company, you can see his face light up with excitement, and I can tell this is the type of thing he is interested in.

I want to be there for him if he decides to join this startup, but at the same time, there is a voice in the back of my head saying, “I’m going to have to work double.” Our income used to be about equal and we split everything, but if he joins this tech startup, his income will be significantly lower.

Should my boyfriend and I be discussing this type of thing before he accepts the offer, or will it seem like I am discouraging him from following his dream? -- Half-Income Couple, New Orleans

DEAR HALF-INCOME COUPLE: The two of you should sit down and map out a strategy. Life always presents risks and options. You must figure out together if this option is worth the risk. Figure out how much money your boyfriend and you have saved and if you have enough to serve as a cushion while he is working to build the new business. Research the particular field that this company is in to learn how viable other companies like it have been.

Evaluate your own job, and determine whether you could upgrade based on time spent there or if you were to entertain a move to another company. Exhaust all possibilities in your discussion and research so that ultimately you make an informed decision that you both stand by.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 24-year-old guy who graduated college a couple of years ago. I have a job in Philadelphia, but I am still living with my parents at home. I am so tired of commuting an hour by train every day into work. I need to decide whether I want to continue to commute to a job and company I love working for, or look for a job closer to home. If I choose to get a job outside of Philly, it might not be a better job, but it will save me the commute time and money. I’m not sure which option is better -- paying money to commute every day to a great job, or going through the process of finding another job that might not be so great, but will shorten my daily commute. -- Commuter Boy, Philadelphia

DEAR COMMUTER BOY: I have to ask you the obvious question: Why can’t you find another place to live? You are a grown man. You can look for housing with a roommate to keep the costs down. It shouldn’t be hard to find housing closer to your job. You can still visit your parents, but you do not have to live with them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to visit my boyfriend in college for the weekend. My cheapest option is to catch either a bus or a train down and back. Even though this is the “cheapest” option, it is still pretty expensive, and out of my budget. My boyfriend knows that I don’t have money coming out of my ears and that I work hard for the money I do earn, yet he has not offered once to put some money toward the travel. I would usually not mind paying for expenses like this, but every time I travel to see him, I always end up paying.

Is there a way I could kindly ask my boyfriend to pay for a portion of my transportation? And if he says he can’t afford it either, should we just decide not to pay for transportation any longer, and wait until we are both home? -- Broke Girlfriend, Cincinnati

DEAR BROKE GIRLFRIEND: The red flag is waving right now! Beware of the precedent that you are setting. Since the visit to see your boyfriend is beneficial to the two of you, you both should be discussing how to afford it. The cost should not rest solely on you. It could be that your boyfriend is oblivious and just hasn’t thought about it. Or he could be manipulative. Either way, you must say something to him. Be direct. Tell him that you cannot afford to pay to visit him and that the two of you need to figure out options. Request that he share in the cost of the trip or that you agree to wait to see each other until he comes home. The way he responds to this will be important for you to evaluate. You don’t want to be with a partner who is selfish and insensitive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger brother has recently moved in with me. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with my long-term boyfriend. Initially, when I agreed for my brother to move in, I thought it would be temporary, therefore I did not ask him to pay rent. It has now been almost two months, and he is still living in our spare bedroom. My boyfriend and I are getting pretty fed up with him lying around the house all day, and we want him to get a job. I keep bringing it up to him and threatening that we will kick him out if he does not get a job. It has gotten to the point where we are no longer speaking, but the situation hasn’t changed. I know that he is family, but what should my next step be? -- The Last Straw, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR THE LAST STRAW: Call a meeting with the three of you and lay down the rules. Tell your brother what your expectation had been for his stay at your home. Give him a deadline by which he either finds a job and starts contributing to the household finances or moves out. Stand as a united front with your boyfriend so that your brother understands that this is not an idle threat. It is real. When you reach the deadline date, be prepared to evict your brother if he has not lived up to the requirements.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)