DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a good student who studies hard and works to get good grades. I have recently been going through a lot in my personal life. It is affecting how much time and effort I put into my work. I failed an exam last week; it was the first exam I have ever failed, and I’m not sure if I should tell my parents. Part of me wants to keep it a secret because I know how disappointed they would be, but another part is telling me I should be honest with my parents. What do you think I should do? -- Worried Student, Philadelphia

DEAR WORRIED STUDENT: Keeping secrets is generally not a good idea, especially from your parents. It is their job to support you as you navigate your life and your academic journey. Clueing them in on your difficulties now may turn out to be a big help. They may be able to see ways in which you can rebalance your schedule -- or even just serve as a shoulder to cry on.

Additionally, you should speak to your teacher to find out what makeup work you can do. Ask if you can retake the exam. Sometimes this is possible. You must also evaluate your personal life to see what needs attention and what requires change. There should be a mental health counselor at school who can help you work through your difficulties and determine the best next steps.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a new mother of a baby boy. I wouldn’t consider myself an anxious or nervous parent, but I am struggling with the thought of leaving my child with a baby sitter or nanny. I know I need to start thinking about finding someone to watch my child, because I haven’t been able to have a social life and go out. I’m not sure how to approach the situation. Should I discuss it with my husband, my parents, a therapist, or someone else? Are there any baby steps I can start doing now to get me ready for when I leave my son for a few hours one night? -- Nervous New Mother, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NERVOUS NEW MOTHER: Talk to your husband about your concerns as well as your desire to balance being a mom with having some fun. Check in with him to see how he feels about a baby sitter or nanny. Think about the people in your life whom you trust. Do you know anyone who might be good to watch your baby? If not, ask friends for referrals. You can also go to an agency that is insured, which may help you feel less nervous.

In the beginning, it can be nerve-wracking to leave your baby with anyone. Feel free to check in regularly while you are away -- at first. Consider installing a nanny cam so that you can see what is happening at home when you are away. There are ways to be safe and free at the same time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a set of 12-year-old twin daughters. They are both sweet, smart, funny girls, but they are different in a lot of ways. One of them is confident and social and speaks her mind constantly. She is also considerate of other people’s feelings while maintaining her leadership skills. My other daughter is not so outgoing. She is shy, spends a lot of time by herself and is more of a follower. She has an amazing attention to detail and is very dependable when I need her for something. I try to accentuate my daughters' differences but also treat them the same.

As they are approaching high school soon, I would like my daughter who is shy to become more social. How do I get her to come out of her shell without pushing her too far? -- Mother of Twins, Minneapolis

DEAR MOTHER OF TWINS: Start by accepting your daughters for who they are -- as they are. Your introverted daughter may remain quiet and somewhat withdrawn. That is OK for her. Do not push her. Instead, learn what her interests are, and point her in those directions. If she is into music, encourage her to play an instrument or take singing lessons. If she likes a sport, suggest that she join a team. Whatever she fancies, you should encourage. Chances are, she will blossom naturally when she is in an environment that feels safe and stimulating to her.

As far as your outgoing daughter, pay attention to her as well. Check to see if she is making smart choices in terms of friends and social activities. Often, the gregarious ones intersect with others who do not always share your family's values or views. Be sure that both daughters learn how to be true to themselves.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have recently decided that we want to move. We are so excited about this new chapter in our lives.

One thing that has come up quite frequently in our discussion is where we will send our children to school. We have found a great county just outside of New York City that has two towns we love. The first town is my favorite and has the best school district, but not a great house selection. The other town has a house we both absolutely love, but the school district is not great.

I have been going back and forth with my partner, discussing the importance of education and home life, and which of those has a higher ranking when it comes to the outcome of children. Do you have any opinion or insight on this? -- Weighing My Family’s Options, Westchester, New York

DEAR WEIGHING MY FAMILY’S OPTIONS: Put education first. Many families move specifically so that their children can have access to quality education. Some even rent homes in good school districts and move after the children have completed high school. Others buy and then sell and upgrade to a better home after the children are gone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother of two boys; my youngest is 8 years old, and the older one is 13. I have noticed that my middle-school-age son has been coming home from baseball practice very upset the past couple of months. My husband and I approached him about the situation and learned he has been getting bullied by the team. He is in seventh grade, and I am not quite sure how to handle this situation. I don’t know how involved I should get, or what is appropriate to say to the coach. I don’t want to embarrass him, but I also don’t want my son to feel the way he has been feeling lately. -- Intervening Mother, Denver

DEAR INTERVENING MOTHER: This is a tricky age for children. On one hand, they are learning to be more independent and discovering how to fend for themselves. On the other, they remain vulnerable to their peers' bad behavior and don’t always have the tools to take care of themselves through challenging situations.

Before intervening at the school, try coaching your son. Get him to open up to you even more so that you can learn exactly what the other students are doing and saying to him and how he is responding. If possible, suggest actions that he can take to stand up for himself without putting him in harm’s way.

Should none of those measures work, tell him that you plan to speak to his baseball coach. (You want to avoid any surprises.) Then request a private meeting where you outline what you have observed about your son’s mood as well as the reports he has shared with you about the other students. Ask for the coach’s help in rectifying this situation. Make it clear that you do not want your involvement to cause your son embarrassment, but you need him to feel safe.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a school counselor who works hard to earn money. I save as much as I can, and I have enough money to buy my first car. I think this is a big milestone in my life, and I am feeling excited and nervous at the same time. Do you have any recommendations for how someone should go about choosing the right car? A new car is a huge investment, and I want to make sure I am going about this the right way. -- New Car Owner, Norfolk, Virginia

DEAR NEW CAR OWNER: First of all, know that you can buy a good car without having to buy a brand-new car. Used cars are much less expensive and can be perfect, especially for a first car. Just make sure you have it thoroughly checked out so that you don’t have surprises down the line. You can also consider going to government auctions for cars. At different times of the year, most cities auction off cars that have been impounded or otherwise abandoned. Often, you can find incredible deals for cars in excellent condition. Get creative. Look online for bargains. You can buy a car and be frugal at the same time!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)