DEAR HARRIETTE: I never thought I would be diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, or any other psychological issues. I was speaking with my psychiatrist the other week, and we were talking about some of the bizarre thoughts I have and the even weirder behaviors that follow those thoughts. We reached the conclusion that I have mild OCD when it comes to having bad thoughts that something might happen to my family, and if I did not knock on my head, those things would come true. I have been living my life completely normally, knocking on my head, and not thinking anything of it. My doctor thinks it’s something I should look into, but I think if my ritualistic behavior does not affect anyone but me, why go get it fixed? I have gotten many mixed opinions about what I should do, and was wondering what your advice might be. -- Knock Knock Knock, Little Rock, Arkansas

DEAR KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK: I want to start by pointing out that you acknowledge that you have a psychiatrist, which suggests that you felt the need to seek professional support. You should take that support seriously and follow whatever regimen you are given for an agreed-upon finite period of time to see if it helps you to lose some of your concerning behavior. You are describing your thoughts and behavior as “bizarre” and “weird.” Why not find out if those “bizarre” and “weird” things go away with treatment?

By the way, you should consider yourself to be the most important person in this scenario. Imagine how relieved you can be if the thoughts and actions no longer bother you because they dissipate?

To learn more about OCD, visit: mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been nannying for the same family for about three years now. I love the kids, and I genuinely enjoy working with them. Recently, I have been feeling a little used. The parents have asked me to go on errands such as doing their grocery shopping, or picking things up at the pet store. I don’t mind doing these things, but my friends have been telling me that it’s unusual. They say I should be getting paid way more than I already do for doing extra things. I had never thought much about this until they brought it up to me. I am pretty comfortable with my pay, but I see my friends’ point that I should be paid a little more for the extra work that I do. How do I bring this up to my employer in a non-awkward way and in a way that doesn’t make me seem too bratty? -- Nanny Who Needs a Pay Raise, Denver

DEAR NANNY WHO NEEDS A PAY RAISE: Tread carefully here. Since you have no issue with the requests of your employer, you do not have to make it an issue. Instead of immediately asking for more money, pay attention to what you are asked to do and how you spend your time when in their employ. At the natural end of an employment cycle -- or if you begin to feel overwhelmed by the extra work -- bring it up to your employer, explaining that the extra work that they have given you, beyond caring for their children, feels like a lot and you would appreciate being compensated for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is in college and has just started dating a guy who is a year older than her. I have met the boy a couple of times and like him. He seems like a responsible person who treats my daughter well. Because he is a year older than my daughter, he has already graduated and gotten a job.

I am worried about how my daughter acts with her new boyfriend. Everything she does seems to revolve around his schedule and what he wants to do. I can see her losing some of her friends and her drive to do anything independently. I need some advice on whether I should intervene and say something to my daughter or leave her alone to make her own decisions. -- Concerned Mother, Washington, D.C.

DEAR CONCERNED MOTHER: Sadly, the chances that your intervention will change your daughter’s course are slim to none. And you know that. Your daughter is flexing her independence. Rather than pushing back, stay in the flow. As long as she isn’t hurting herself, just listen. Learn about how she is living her life. Of course, if she has a boyfriend, she is spending less time with her single friends. Don’t make a big deal about that unless she is totally isolating herself and is showing signs of being in an abusive relationship. Pay attention and learn from her. If your daughter stops seeming happy, jump in and ask more questions. It could be, though, that she is settling down -- for now. Ideally, you should get to know the boyfriend better so you have a sense of who you are dealing with.  

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have severe anxiety about flying. I’m not sure where it came from because no one in my family has a fear of flying, nor does anxiety run in my family. I have recently started a new job that I am now finding out requires frequent travel. I am supposed to be on a plane every two weeks, traveling to different sites. I don’t want to lose this job, but due to my fear of flying, I would like to talk to my boss about reducing the number of times I have to travel. Is it too much to ask when I just started? -- FEARFUL FLYER, Cleveland

DEAR FEARFUL FLYER: You call your anxiety severe. If this means you do not believe you will be able to board a plane every two weeks, you have to tell your boss. Remind your boss that you were not informed when you interviewed for the job that travel was a requirement.

Tell your boss you believe you will succeed faster if you are able to fulfill the basic requirements without going up in the air. Since this was not a known job responsibility, you have an excuse to bow out. But I suggest that you go for it. Try to see if you can overcome your fear of flying enough to do the job you have been given. Sometimes things become easier thanks to necessity.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend for four years. He treats me well, but some issues have been arising due to his problem with drugs. I can see how it is changing him and how he acts, therefore changing our relationship. I have tried talking to him about it by suggesting he get help or talk to someone else about this. Every time the topic comes up, it starts an argument and he blames me for acting like his mother. I don’t want to act like his mother or tell him what to do, but in these situations, it’s my instinct to intervene and tell him to stop because it is creating problems in our relationship. Is there anything else I can do to help him? -- I’m Your Girlfriend, Not Your Mother, Syracuse, New York

DEAR I’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND, NOT YOUR MOTHER: It is time for you to do a gut check. Is your boyfriend being realistic at all about his drug use? Can you talk to him about it directly? If you can talk at a moment when he is clean and sober, make it clear to him that you do not want to be with him if he is going to continue to use -- whatever the drug is, including weed. Be firm that you care about him, but you love yourself more. You do not want to get caught up in drug issues. Tell him you will support him if he wants to go to rehab. Otherwise, you feel you have to walk away so that you do not become like his mother, nagging him to get help without ever finding fulfillment. Draw the line. If his addiction is not too severe, he may be able to climb out of his stupor. If not, you don’t have the expertise to be with him safely, not now anyway.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother of three children under the age of 15 residing in Connecticut. Recently, my husband has been offered a job overseas. We have been discussing moving for the new job because it would be the best opportunity for his career.

I wouldn’t mind moving, but I am very worried about my children’s reaction. They have lived here their whole lives and are very attached to our family home, their school and their friends. I am not sure if it is the right thing to follow my husband’s career and uproot my family or remain here and have my husband keep his current job. How do we make this decision? -- To Leave or Not To Leave, Stamford, Connecticut

DEAR TO LEAVE OR NOT TO LEAVE: Moving is a constant for many working people. How you move is what can be the creative solution to a mobile challenge. Talk to your husband about the pros and cons of this new job location. What can you and the children learn from spending time there? What will be difficult? What will be worth it? Present the move to your children as an adventure where they will learn and grow. When they push back about leaving their friends, remind them of the technology they can use to stay in touch. Your attitude toward the move is what will keep them focused. I say go for it. Manage everyone’s expectations and expand your horizons. It will be bumpy, but worth it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)