DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling with where I am in my career. I am 53 years old and have been doing the same thing my entire life. I was fortunate enough to know what I wanted to do at a very young age. I worked hard and got my dream job as an engineer. Recently, my company has hired a new CEO. He and I do not get along, but at the end of the day, he is my superior. I find myself not enjoying what I do anymore. This has made me think about switching companies. I am torn because I have been with this company for more than 25 years. What do you think is the best way to go about this? Should I talk to my CEO first or other colleagues? -- Should I Stay or Should I Go?, Detroit

DEAR SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?: If you talk to your CEO, do not issue ultimatums. Instead, talk to him about his vision and ask how you can support him. Whether you want to leave or not, you should want the new boss to consider you an invaluable asset to the team because of your knowledge and loyalty to the company for so many years. Before attempting to leave, figure out if you can find common ground so that you can stay comfortably.

Even if you decide to look for work, remain positive with the new boss. And be discreet as you shop for a new gig. Being at a job for 25 years shows others your commitment. Your new task will be to prove why you would be of value somewhere else and why you want to leave -- without bad-mouthing your new boss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 20-year-old male who is struggling with where I am in life at the moment. I grew up in a family where college was not a choice. It was expected that straight after high school graduation, I would attend a university. I spent the last two years of high school studying for the SAT and applying to dozens of universities. I was accepted to a college two hours from home. It was not my dream school, but my parents were happy with it.

I have now completed my freshman year at college, and I am miserable. I have no idea what I want to major in, I am not enjoying the people around me at school, and I feel unhappy. I feel like I was pushed to go to college too fast because that was the norm in my family and among my high school peers. I need some help in figuring out what the next step is. I want to talk to my parents and explain my situation to them in a way that they will understand. -- Lost Student, St. Louis

DEAR LOST STUDENT: Start with a guidance counselor at your university. Talk to that person about your interests and challenges at school. Share your dreams for the future with an open mind. It is true that college will help you to earn a better living. Before giving up on college, figure out if you can take classes that interest you. Then tell your parents about your struggle. Don’t give up yet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three children, ages 6, 11 and 18. My two youngest kids are with my current husband, and my oldest is from a previous marriage.

I am having some trouble with my eldest son. He always seems to be in a bad mood and unwilling to spend time with our family. I know he is at that age where he only wants to be with his friends, and I usually give him a lot of space to be independent, but I would like him to want to spend more time with our family.

I have tried talking with him about this, but every time I bring it up, he completely shuts me down and ignores me for a couple of days. Please let me know if you have any advice on how I can approach my son about spending more time with our family. -- Sad Mama, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR SAD MAMA: Your eldest is at the age when he should be almost leaving the nest. While he is living at home, you can still make house rules. First, tell him how important it is to you that he participate in family activities, at least a little bit. Acknowledge that you know he prefers to spend time with his friends. Point out that, for you, family is first and that you want him to make family a priority among his other interests. If he still resists, give him an ultimatum. If he wants to keep living in your house, you expect him to participate in family activities. Only go there as a last resort, though. The goal is to get him to want to be connected, at least a little bit.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 22-year-old guy, and my girlfriend is 20. I am about to graduate from college, and my girlfriend works in our hometown. I love her and can see myself spending the rest of my life with her, but I am worried that we are rushing our relationship. She leaves me not-so-subtle hints about marriage. The other day she came home with a T-shirt with the word fiancee on it and hinted to me that we will be getting married soon. How do I talk to her about slowing down our relationship without making it seem like I am unhappy? -- Not Ready for Marriage, Sausalito, California

DEAR NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE: Get ready for one of many heart-to-heart discussions with your girlfriend. Invite her to sit down and talk to you. Ask her why she got the T-shirt saying fiancee, given that you two are not engaged. Tell her that you love her and believe you have a future, but you are not ready to take the next step. Be prepared to tell her why. If it’s because you haven’t figured out yet how to earn a living or how you plan to grow into adulthood, tell her.

This could be a turning point in your relationship, depending on how the conversation unfolds. Be prepared to stay open and honest -- and true to your path.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am up for a new job that would be an amazing opportunity for me and my family. I just learned that if I make it to the final round, the company will want to check my credit report. In terms of work, I have excellent skills. In terms of money, I am a disaster.

I got divorced a few years ago, and my ex doesn’t pay for any of the bills he agreed to pay. That includes my son’s college education, the mortgage that we both share or any of our shared credit card debt. I can’t swing it by myself. I have taken him to court, but he still doesn’t pay. I am afraid that I won’t get the job when they see the wreck of my credit. Do you think I should tell them why it is like that and that I am working hard to pay off my debt? -- Bad Credit, Pittsburgh

DEAR BAD CREDIT: You should prepare a clear, honest and transparent statement to tell your potential employer. When they ask to review your credit, let them know that your credit is suffering right now and why. By getting in front of it, you give context to whatever the number is. You will need to demonstrate a commitment to mending your credit. You may have to explain your plan to them. If they like you enough, they may forgive you based on the circumstances.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage children are out of control with their cellphones. I feel like they are attached to them from the moment they wake up -- around 6 a.m. -- until the moment they go to bed. I hardly see their eyes because their heads are looking down into that little screen. I want to set some boundaries for cellphone usage. I know they don’t want to hear this, but I don’t want to go along with this new trend. -- Out of Bounds, Atlanta

DEAR OUT OF BOUNDS: The constant use of cellphones has reached epidemic proportions these days, so much so that lawsuits have cropped up against tech companies. "We want our lives and families back" is a rallying cry.

Of course you can set limits, even though your children will be angry. Keep a basket at the front door. When your children arrive home, have them put their phones in the basket. Phones can stay there until all homework is finished. If they have chores, those must be completed before getting the phones back. Give them a short window for using their phones in the evening, but do not allow them to keep the phones in their bedrooms. Do not allow any phones at dinner. Have all chargers in a common area, like the kitchen. If they sneak and use their phones at night, move the chargers to your bedroom, where you can oversee them.

An exception may be when they have to study with friends. Be aware that computers can turn into phones, so monitor their computer use as well.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)