DEAR HARRIETTE: I have grown up with international parents. My mother is Scottish, and my father is Australian. They both grew up overseas, and their first time living in the United States was when we moved here in 2002. Growing up in New York with parents who were not American allowed me to learn so much about different cultures. There were also amazing perks, such as traveling to visit family in the United Kingdom and Australia during the holidays.

Although this was amazing growing up, there were also things that my parents didn’t understand, such as the American college system. I struggled explaining to them small things such as the application process and sororities, and I also find it hard to meet their high expectations of what I should be doing with my life. How do you suggest I talk to them about the fact that there is a difference between growing up in the U.S and other places? -- Between Two Worlds, New Orleans

DEAR BETWEEN TWO WORLDS: Your parents know that the experiences they provided for you early on are unique to your family, but you may want to remind them as you also tell them that now you are creating your own experiences. Because you have chosen to go to school in America and have been learning the culture for many years now, you feel more American than not. Tell them that you know your duty is to be an excellent student, and you also have the responsibility of figuring out how to live your life. As you are growing and developing, you have to learn how to navigate in the world on your own. Tell them how much you appreciate all that they have done and are continuing to do for you. Ask them to allow you the space to figure some things out on your own as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college senior who is living in a four-bedroom apartment with three other girls. I love my roommates because they are some of my best friends, but I am currently having some issues that I didn’t think would arise.

I am a science major, meaning I have tons of work every night. My roommates, on the other hand, do not have as much work and are constantly wanting to go out to party, or watch a movie in the living room. They can sometimes get very loud and distracting. I am thankful I have my own room, but I would like to be able to feel like it is my apartment as well as theirs. -- The Studying Student, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR THE STUDYING STUDENT: It is time to create ground rules for the whole apartment. Meet with your roommates and agree to terms that work for everyone -- including you. This might mean turning down the TV or even turning it off after a certain time or conducting conversations in their rooms after a particular hour.

You may also need to study in the library at school more often where it is quiet and you can control your environment better.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was 16 years old when my parents got a divorce. I am now almost 22, and I still feel the tension between them. For years, they have never been able to be in the same room; they communicate only through their lawyers. If I need to speak to both of them, I do it through email; I often act as their messenger.

For my college graduation, I want both of them there, but I do not know if this is a good idea. My friends have been planning dinners with their parents for the night of graduation. Should I invite both parents to my graduation and be stressed, or invite one of them and have the other parent be offended? -- Conflicted Daughter, Denver

DEAR CONFLICTED DAUGHTER: Start by speaking to each of them individually and telling them your desire to have them both at your graduation if they can be civil -- or even kind -- to each other. Ask them if they would be willing to show up for you in a positive way. Tell them what your friends’ parents are doing for them, and ask if they would be willing to do something similar for you. Listen to each of them to get a sense of how amenable they are to the idea.

If you sense that it will not work, tell them your worries. State that if they don’t think they can manage well together on that day, you would prefer that they not come. Then decide which parent you want to have there and ask that one to be a part of your graduation celebration. You can let the other parent know that you extended this invitation so that there are no secrets. If they have hurt feelings, it is because of their inability to let go of their issues and show up for you. You are not responsible for their behavior.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up being very close to my siblings. I have an older sister and a younger brother. As my siblings and I got older, we wanted different things, which meant both my sister and brother moved to Japan. My sister is pursuing her dream of being a nurse and attending medical school in Japan. My younger brother is enjoying working at a local restaurant. I am in New York completing my undergraduate degree.

Do you have any recommendations for how my siblings and I can maintain our closeness even though we are on opposite sides of the world? -- Lonely Sibling, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR LONELY SIBLING: Make technology your best friend! Through FaceTime, texting and free international phone calls, you should be able to see each other and communicate regularly. You just have to choose to do so! You will need to figure out times of day to talk, because the time zones are very different.

Though it is expensive to travel so far, you all should save your money so that you can see each other in person occasionally. Because there’s one of you, it will be more affordable for you to get on a plane. Perhaps you can all chip in for your airline ticket.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to New York City and into my own apartment -- well, sort of my own apartment. I share a two-bedroom apartment in the East Village with my best friend from high school and her boyfriend. When I agreed to the idea, I was primarily thinking about my finances and how this was the best move for me. What I did not take into consideration was our personalities mixing while we lived together.

One month in, I have realized that my friend and her boyfriend fight more than they don’t fight. They have screaming matches at 11 p.m. when I am trying to fall asleep. I have previously tried telling them to quiet down, but it happens almost every night.

How do I deal with this? I don’t know how I can approach the two of them, because it is their apartment as much as it is mine. -- Sleepless Roommate, Manhattan, New York

DEAR SLEEPLESS ROOMMATE: Sharing an apartment with a couple is typically challenging, even when the two of them get along well. What you are facing sounds harrowing. The only way you will have a chance of getting them to notice their behavior and consider curbing the fights is by talking to them. Schedule a meeting where you agree -- all of you -- to talk about your living arrangements. Start with something positive. If they are tidy, complement them on that and thank them. Anything else that works should be mentioned. Then express your concerns about their constant arguing. Acknowledge that you understand that couples may have disagreements from time to time, but they argue constantly. Tell them that you cannot sleep, and this behavior is disturbing. Ask them to pay attention so they notice how frequently they fight. Beg them to stop. Ultimately, you may need to move.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I baby-sit almost every weekend, and a lot during the week. My "regulars" -- the families I see every week -- have started giving my number out to other families. In addition to that, a lot of my father’s friends ask him if I am available to watch their kids.

One night, I was watching my dad’s friends’ children. There were two boys, ages 6 and 8. The boys were extremely misbehaved, and it was one of the worst baby-sitting experiences I’ve ever had. When the parents came home, they asked me how their children were, and I said they were fine, like I was on autopilot. My question is, do you tell the parents of the kids you are baby-sitting that the boys were bad? Do you think this will lessen my chances of being asked back? Also, does it matter that these are my father’s friends? -- ”The Kids Were Fine” Baby Sitter, Stamford, Connecticut

DEAR “THE KIDS WERE FINE” BABY SITTER: It is important for you to give these parents honest feedback about their children’s behavior. It could be that the boys were testing you, which the parents should know. It could be that this is normal -- which you should know so that you don’t go back to them. Call the parents and tell them that you have some information you feel you should share about your time with their children. Then stick to the facts. Do not get emotional. Be descriptive so they know what happened. Do not involve your father. This is your job.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)