DEAR HARRIETTE: My son graduated from high school six months ago. He does not want to go to college, and he doesn’t really have goals. I am so worried about him. When he was growing up, we always talked to him about college and building a career, but he just isn’t interested.

He got a job at a gun-making company, of all places. His job is to assemble guns. It’s a small business in a nearby town, and he makes good money. But this is not what I want for him. I know it’s legal, but I hate the idea of it.

Should I try to convince him to leave this job or give him space to find his way? I’m worried because I don’t want him to get into gun culture. A bunch of his friends like going to shooting ranges and stuff. I don’t think that’s a good idea for him. But he is a high school graduate and 18 years old. He has the right to make his own decisions. I know I can’t control my son, but I want to guide him. Is it too late? -- Bad Decisions, Tampa

DEAR BAD DECISIONS: You cannot live your son’s life for him, as much as you might want to. While you may not love his choice of employment, at least he has a legal job. He will learn discipline and timeliness at this job, especially if he is on the assembly line. This may also open his eyes to how he would like to spend his future. Some people enjoy rote work, while others want a different type of challenge. Rather than trying to direct him to another line of employment, encourage him to do his best on this job. He doesn’t have to stay there forever, but doing well is important for his employment record.

In terms of how he spends his free time, you already know you cannot control his actions. You can remind him to be extremely cautious when using guns. Point out the obvious: He must always follow the law. You live in a state that allows the open carry of weapons. Your son is of age to own a firearm, so you cannot control that. You can continue to talk to him about safety, though.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked on my factory job for 15 years, and I was recently laid off, though I didn’t do anything wrong. My company was sold, and the new management is automating everything, so they cut back on a lot of the workers. I have to find work soon, but I’m not sure what to do. I can’t outsmart a computer. Another friend who got laid off has decided to take computer classes so that he might be able to get an administrative job. Do you think that’s a good idea? I don’t know what to do. -- Out of Work, Queens, New York

DEAR OUT OF WORK: It is always smart to increase your skills. What you may want to do is go to your local unemployment office -- the same place where you can get unemployment compensation for a period. Get counseling there for how to direct your job search and expand your abilities. The government offers a range of free classes for people who are trying to re-enter the work force. Seek out this support to see what types of jobs are available these days and what you need in order to secure one. Go to careeronestop.org for guidance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that one of my good friends has a son who is in jail. I was wondering where he was, as he has not come to any of the gatherings that we typically have throughout the year. Now I know that he didn’t come because he has been in jail for several weeks. His mother did not tell me; another friend did.

I want to support my friend, and I might even be able to help. My husband is a defense attorney, and he would be happy to do whatever he can. That said, I don’t want to intrude. Obviously, this is sensitive, but given that we might be able to help, do you think it’s worth it for me bring it up to her? -- Helping My Friend, Milwaukee

DEAR HELPING MY FRIEND: Schedule a time to get together with your friend. Ask for permission to have a candid conversation. Let her know that you were recently told that her son is in jail. Point out that you are not trying to get in her business, but you want her to know that you would be happy to help if she needs support. Remind her that your husband is a defense attorney. Ask her if she needs legal support. Find out if there is anything you can do to help her. Assure her that you have no intention of gossiping about her family crisis. You only want to help. Listen to what she requests of you, including if she asks simply that you do nothing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was obsessed with politics last year, so much so that my husband and children didn’t want to stay in the same room with me because I constantly had cable TV on, watching one political talk show or another. I do not work in politics, but I got so concerned about the stuff that has been happening that I wanted to stay on top of it. I realize now that I went overboard. How can I remain in the know without becoming obsessed? I feel bad that my family doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore. -- Seeking Balance, Pittsburgh

DEAR SEEKING BALANCE: Cable news networks enjoyed huge audiences in 2017 thanks to the constant barrage of inflammatory material that fueled daily commentary. While you are not alone, you are wise to figure out how to curb your political news addiction. Consider reading news sources -- including newspapers and websites -- at a particular time of day. Reading is not noisy and does not automatically distract others.

As far as watching your favorite political shows, give yourself a timeframe when you can watch. Outside of that window, either turn off the TV or switch to a more neutral channel. If your shows do not air within that time slot, tape them to view later. Tell your family of your intention to spend more quality time with them and away from politics. Then work at having engaging experiences with them. Everyone will benefit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t dated for several years. I just haven’t met anybody who was interesting enough. My friend at work suggested that I meet one of her friends, so I went out with the guy, my friend and her boyfriend. We had a nice time, though nothing too special. The guy invited me to go out to dinner again, and I went. We had fun, but at the end of the meal, he propositioned me. He actually thought I would have sex with him since he had taken me to dinner. What’s wrong with people? Is this what’s required in the dating world these days? -- Old School, Dallas

DEAR OLD SCHOOL: As you re-enter the dating world, you do not have to change your values. You may continue to be propositioned by potential partners, as plenty of people do engage in sexual intimacy very early on in a relationship. But you can say no.

If you like a person who makes an advance too early, you should talk about it. State your case, including when you think intimacy is appropriate. By being clear, you create space for the way that a relationship can blossom -- or not. Admit to being "old school," and explain that you want to get to know someone and see if the two of you make a good team before considering anything more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the holidays, I saw a man I knew as a child. He is in his late 20s, and I hardly recognized him. He has blown up like crazy. I mean, he’s at least 40 pounds overweight. I’m sure he knows it; how could he not? Still, should I ask him about his health? We have never been close. I knew him from my family's church, but I hadn't seen him for a long time.

I don’t mean to be a busybody, but I am worried about him. This young man is headed for a health crisis if he doesn’t make some changes. -- None of My Business, Syracuse, New York

DEAR NONE OF MY BUSINESS: It can be jarring to see someone after a long period of time and to notice a dramatic change, especially a weight gain. Yet this is also fairly common. Talk to anyone who has gone to a high school or college reunion. In fact, many people diet right before going to these types of events so that they can look their best.

If you were closer to this young man, I could see space for you to talk to him about his health. Given the fact that you were never close, it would be awkward and inappropriate for you to step in and ask him about his weight gain. Instead, keep your mouth closed. You can greet the young man and ask him about his life. As is common when fellow parishioners reconnect, inquire about his life, his work or education. Get a sense of who he is becoming. Be encouraging. But do not address the topic of his weight.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)