DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that one of my good friends has a son who is in jail. I was wondering where he was, as he has not come to any of the gatherings that we typically have throughout the year. Now I know that he didn’t come because he has been in jail for several weeks. His mother did not tell me; another friend did.

I want to support my friend, and I might even be able to help. My husband is a defense attorney, and he would be happy to do whatever he can. That said, I don’t want to intrude. Obviously, this is sensitive, but given that we might be able to help, do you think it’s worth it for me bring it up to her? -- Helping My Friend, Milwaukee

DEAR HELPING MY FRIEND: Schedule a time to get together with your friend. Ask for permission to have a candid conversation. Let her know that you were recently told that her son is in jail. Point out that you are not trying to get in her business, but you want her to know that you would be happy to help if she needs support. Remind her that your husband is a defense attorney. Ask her if she needs legal support. Find out if there is anything you can do to help her. Assure her that you have no intention of gossiping about her family crisis. You only want to help. Listen to what she requests of you, including if she asks simply that you do nothing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was obsessed with politics last year, so much so that my husband and children didn’t want to stay in the same room with me because I constantly had cable TV on, watching one political talk show or another. I do not work in politics, but I got so concerned about the stuff that has been happening that I wanted to stay on top of it. I realize now that I went overboard. How can I remain in the know without becoming obsessed? I feel bad that my family doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore. -- Seeking Balance, Pittsburgh

DEAR SEEKING BALANCE: Cable news networks enjoyed huge audiences in 2017 thanks to the constant barrage of inflammatory material that fueled daily commentary. While you are not alone, you are wise to figure out how to curb your political news addiction. Consider reading news sources -- including newspapers and websites -- at a particular time of day. Reading is not noisy and does not automatically distract others.

As far as watching your favorite political shows, give yourself a timeframe when you can watch. Outside of that window, either turn off the TV or switch to a more neutral channel. If your shows do not air within that time slot, tape them to view later. Tell your family of your intention to spend more quality time with them and away from politics. Then work at having engaging experiences with them. Everyone will benefit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t dated for several years. I just haven’t met anybody who was interesting enough. My friend at work suggested that I meet one of her friends, so I went out with the guy, my friend and her boyfriend. We had a nice time, though nothing too special. The guy invited me to go out to dinner again, and I went. We had fun, but at the end of the meal, he propositioned me. He actually thought I would have sex with him since he had taken me to dinner. What’s wrong with people? Is this what’s required in the dating world these days? -- Old School, Dallas

DEAR OLD SCHOOL: As you re-enter the dating world, you do not have to change your values. You may continue to be propositioned by potential partners, as plenty of people do engage in sexual intimacy very early on in a relationship. But you can say no.

If you like a person who makes an advance too early, you should talk about it. State your case, including when you think intimacy is appropriate. By being clear, you create space for the way that a relationship can blossom -- or not. Admit to being "old school," and explain that you want to get to know someone and see if the two of you make a good team before considering anything more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the holidays, I saw a man I knew as a child. He is in his late 20s, and I hardly recognized him. He has blown up like crazy. I mean, he’s at least 40 pounds overweight. I’m sure he knows it; how could he not? Still, should I ask him about his health? We have never been close. I knew him from my family's church, but I hadn't seen him for a long time.

I don’t mean to be a busybody, but I am worried about him. This young man is headed for a health crisis if he doesn’t make some changes. -- None of My Business, Syracuse, New York

DEAR NONE OF MY BUSINESS: It can be jarring to see someone after a long period of time and to notice a dramatic change, especially a weight gain. Yet this is also fairly common. Talk to anyone who has gone to a high school or college reunion. In fact, many people diet right before going to these types of events so that they can look their best.

If you were closer to this young man, I could see space for you to talk to him about his health. Given the fact that you were never close, it would be awkward and inappropriate for you to step in and ask him about his weight gain. Instead, keep your mouth closed. You can greet the young man and ask him about his life. As is common when fellow parishioners reconnect, inquire about his life, his work or education. Get a sense of who he is becoming. Be encouraging. But do not address the topic of his weight.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who totally believes that if you make a wish on New Year’s Day, your whole life can change. I do not believe in fairy tales. I believe in honest hard work and commitment. Meanwhile, my friend goes on and on about how she made this wish and all the great things that are about to happen for her as a result. She claims that she did the same thing last year, and she ended up getting a great new job. This year, she has a new wish, and she can’t wait to see it come true. Am I wrong to believe in working for what you want? -- No Fairy Tales, Atlanta

DEAR NO FAIRY TALES: Your friend’s approach is hopeful. She has set an intention and is focused on making that happen. While her way of describing her goal sounds magical, I bet what she is doing is being clear about what she wants, having faith that it will happen and working toward that goal.

A spiritual lesson I have been taught is that success is like a two-winged bird. It requires self-effort and grace. Your friend is calling it a “wish.” It also sounds like a prayer.

Of course hard work is required to achieve a goal. Claiming what you want and need and staying focused on attaining it while asking for the grace to get there is a recipe I follow to attain my desires.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was cleaning my son’s room, and I found a stash of weed under his mattress. I am so mad. I have talked to him about drugs many times. I am no prude, but I know that my 16-year-old son has no business smoking marijuana. He has not been doing well in school, and he spends way too much time hanging out with his friends who don’t seem to have any goals. I believe that some people can smoke weed and manage their lives; my son cannot. How can I get him to know this is a bad idea? -- On the Brink, Washington, D.C.

DEAR ON THE BRINK: Talk to your son about his goals and dreams. Ask him what he wants to do with his life. Encourage him to talk about what his life might look like when he graduates from high school. Does he want to go to college? What type of work does he want to do? Do your best to get him to talk about his vision. This positive approach may help to open the conversation about the obstacles in his way.

Once he has opened up about his future, ask him what may be impeding his realizing those dreams. If he doesn’t bring it up, point out that smoking weed can be distracting. Tell him you think that he smokes too much and that it is affecting his school work. Suggest that he reconsider how he spends his free time. Smoking weed is known to slow people down. Ask him what is more important: his habit or his future. Keep reminding him of his dreams. Work to guide him in that direction.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)