DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is a true teenager. Even when it is freezing outside, she doesn’t want to wear a coat. All of the kids these days wear big sweatshirts instead of true outerwear. I see them and know this is their style, but I also know that when it is below freezing outside, they need to be properly dressed. I don’t like forcing my daughter to do things at this age, but I don’t want her to get sick. How can I get her to understand? -- Putting My Foot Down, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN: Remember that you are the parent here. Make it clear to your daughter that she has no other option in the bitter cold than to wear her coat. These days there are lightweight coats made with new technology that are extremely warm without being bulky. If your daughter does not have a coat like that, you might consider buying her one. They are available in virtually every price range, and a lot of young people wear them. No matter what, let your daughter know that she must wear a coat on cold winter days. If she does not, you should take away privileges like her phone -- something she will truly miss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbors invited my husband and me to go on a trip with them to Europe this summer. They just asked because they wanted to give us enough time to prepare if we want to go. I love the idea. My husband and I have never taken a vacation out of the country. We love our neighbors, and it would be fun to go with them.

My husband is nervous about the trip. He reminded me of the terrorist attacks in France and Belgium. He cautioned me about other parts of Europe, too. I pointed out that these things happen in the United States as well. I suggested that we take a risk to enjoy this moment with our friends. He is not interested. We have until the end of January to get back to our friends. How can I convince him to go for it? -- Ready for Vacay, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR READY FOR VACAY: Your husband’s concerns about safety are valid. It is true that there have been a number of terrorist activities in European countries -- as they have also occurred stateside. Added to this concern is the fact that your husband is not a traveler. He is probably nervous in general about going overseas.

Show him photos of the places you might visit and talk about the possibilities of what you can do while you are on the trip. Tell him that you really want to go and that you would like him to reconsider the trip. Add that the best way to not give in to terrorism is to live your life to the fullest, without fear.

You may want to invite your neighbors to talk with the two of you about the plans for the trip just to get your husband engaged in the discussion. Talking about it may get him to open up to the idea.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live next door to a family from Guatemala. They are nice enough people, but to tell you the truth, they have too many people coming and going from their house. I bet anything that some of the visitors are undocumented. I can’t imagine that they all have their green cards. There are just too many of them. They are tidy and friendly and all, but still.

I wonder if I should report them to the police. They aren’t disrupting things, but there are too many of them for everything to be on the up-and-up. I know that a lot of Guatemalans do day work here for lawn services and contracting, but I wonder if they pay taxes. It’s all a bit suspicious to me. What should I do? -- Dropping a Dime, Jupiter, Florida

DEAR DROPPING A DIME: It is true that law enforcement wants people to report suspicious behavior, but before you pick up the phone, evaluate your opinion and your motivation. That there are a lot of people visiting your neighbors’ home is not a crime. That they are friendly and tidy -- essentially good neighbors -- should make you relax.

If they are not doing anything that leads you to believe that they are committing a crime, you should mind your business and let them live their lives. Reporting people to the police is serious. It should be done with caution and only when appropriate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years now. We get along great and feel like we will be together forever. We both just finished college and are working hard to get on our feet. Though we talk about the future, we have not specifically talked about marriage.

A few of our friends are engaged now, and I’m feeling a little anxious. I know we need to get good jobs and earn enough money to get a real home and all, but I don’t know why we can’t do those things together as a married couple. I don’t want to push my boyfriend, but I do want to get married. What should I say to him? -- Ready to Tie the Knot, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR READY TO TIE THE KNOT: Without pressuring your boyfriend, you should talk about the future and how you envision it. If you want to have children, let him know that and give a sense of when you would want to have a child. Go through your list of questions and thoughts about building a life together, and ask him to share his thoughts. You can ask him if he wants to get married, and, if so, when he thinks would be a good time. You deserve to know if the two of you are on the same page as you plan for the future. Talk it out, and you will have a better sense of whether the two of you should remain on this journey together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister-in-law has decided that she is going to give her children and mine shooting lessons. She thinks that it is wise for everyone to know how to use a gun. She went so far as to say that she thinks every single person should own a gun.

I do not share her beliefs about guns. In part this could be because I grew up and live in the city. She lives in a rural part of the country where most families have guns. They shoot wildlife regularly and even go hunting.

I’m OK with her and her family doing what they like. What I don’t appreciate is her trying to force me to allow my children to get shooting lessons or own a gun. Of course my kids are excited about the idea, which infuriates me. I want to raise my kids my way without my sister-in-law interfering. -- No-Gun Zone, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR NO-GUN ZONE: Feel free to draw the line. Make it clear that you do not want your children to be involved with guns. Ask her to honor your request. Have a frank conversation with her about your thoughts as you listen to hers. It is OK for you to disagree on this topic. What has to happen, though, is that she does not cross the line regarding what she exposes your children to. Otherwise, you will not feel comfortable allowing your children to be in her company unsupervised.

Know that it is against federal law for children under 18 to own a handgun, but there is no age limit on the use or ownership of shotguns and rifles. You have to enforce your rules.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandmother is getting up in age, and I have noticed that she has no filter. She says just about anything to people, and a lot of times it is rude.

She saw my sister for the first time in a long time and my sister has gained quite a bit of weight. The first thing my grandmother said to her was, “Oh, my God. Look at you. You are fat!” She then proceeded to try to hug my sister, who didn’t want to hug her after she had just been insulted. While it is true that my sister got heavy, that was no way to greet her own granddaughter.

That’s not all. If my grandmother doesn’t like what you are wearing, she makes loud comments. If she doesn’t like her meal, she criticizes the cooking. It is endless, and this is different for her. She used to be nice. How can we get her to notice that her comments are hurting people’s feelings? -- Bad Granny, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR BAD GRANNY: When your grandmother says unkind things, it is OK for someone to say something to her immediately. When she calls her granddaughter fat, someone can say, “That’s not nice, Grandma.” Or “Please don’t say mean things, Grandma.” This may not stop her, but at least it will acknowledge that the comment was unkind. Sometimes old people do lose their filters. Keep telling her that she is hurting your feelings or being mean. She may hear you sometimes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)