DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister-in-law has decided that she is going to give her children and mine shooting lessons. She thinks that it is wise for everyone to know how to use a gun. She went so far as to say that she thinks every single person should own a gun.

I do not share her beliefs about guns. In part this could be because I grew up and live in the city. She lives in a rural part of the country where most families have guns. They shoot wildlife regularly and even go hunting.

I’m OK with her and her family doing what they like. What I don’t appreciate is her trying to force me to allow my children to get shooting lessons or own a gun. Of course my kids are excited about the idea, which infuriates me. I want to raise my kids my way without my sister-in-law interfering. -- No-Gun Zone, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR NO-GUN ZONE: Feel free to draw the line. Make it clear that you do not want your children to be involved with guns. Ask her to honor your request. Have a frank conversation with her about your thoughts as you listen to hers. It is OK for you to disagree on this topic. What has to happen, though, is that she does not cross the line regarding what she exposes your children to. Otherwise, you will not feel comfortable allowing your children to be in her company unsupervised.

Know that it is against federal law for children under 18 to own a handgun, but there is no age limit on the use or ownership of shotguns and rifles. You have to enforce your rules.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandmother is getting up in age, and I have noticed that she has no filter. She says just about anything to people, and a lot of times it is rude.

She saw my sister for the first time in a long time and my sister has gained quite a bit of weight. The first thing my grandmother said to her was, “Oh, my God. Look at you. You are fat!” She then proceeded to try to hug my sister, who didn’t want to hug her after she had just been insulted. While it is true that my sister got heavy, that was no way to greet her own granddaughter.

That’s not all. If my grandmother doesn’t like what you are wearing, she makes loud comments. If she doesn’t like her meal, she criticizes the cooking. It is endless, and this is different for her. She used to be nice. How can we get her to notice that her comments are hurting people’s feelings? -- Bad Granny, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR BAD GRANNY: When your grandmother says unkind things, it is OK for someone to say something to her immediately. When she calls her granddaughter fat, someone can say, “That’s not nice, Grandma.” Or “Please don’t say mean things, Grandma.” This may not stop her, but at least it will acknowledge that the comment was unkind. Sometimes old people do lose their filters. Keep telling her that she is hurting your feelings or being mean. She may hear you sometimes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew, who is about to graduate from college, has always been somewhat of a lady’s man. He has good manners, but he has had a lot of girlfriends over the years. His last girlfriend got his name put on a necklace that she used to wear all the time. I noticed that he has a new girlfriend now, and I saw her wearing what appeared to be the same necklace. I’m sorry, but I think this is in poor taste. It’s almost like he’s branding these young ladies. I asked him about it, and he shrugged it off. It bothers me. Should I say something else to him about it, or maybe say something to my brother -- his father -- and try to get him to talk sense into his son? -- No Branding Here, Dallas

DEAR NO BRANDING HERE: You have no authority in this situation. Since you have already inquired and learned that your nephew likes the idea that his new girlfriend is wearing this name necklace, there’s likely not much more that you can say. You could give a “for the record” comment to your nephew that you are concerned that he is not being as respectful as you think is appropriate by doing this. But know that he may not listen.

Look around and you will see people who tattoo their boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s names on their bodies. Many do this even before thinking about marriage.

You can speak to your brother. Tell him what your concerns are, and ask him how he feels about his son’s behavior, particularly around this name necklace. If your brother also is concerned about it, he may want to talk to his son a bit more. Ultimately, though, your nephew is becoming an adult and will have to make his own decisions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother has been out of work for about six months now. He never had a great job, but he was always employed up until recently, when his company went out of business and everybody got laid off. Instead of looking for work, he seems to be moping around feeling sorry for himself. He lives with my parents, so he doesn’t have to worry about a roof over his head, and I think that is contributing to the problem. He doesn’t seem to have a sense of urgency about his situation.

I’m worried that my brother will stay in this situation too long and find it impossible to get a new job. How can I help him to wake up and be more proactive? -- Turning the Corner, Philadelphia

DEAR TURNING THE CORNER: It is easy to sink into a depression when you are out of work. That may be what has happened to your brother. Talk to him. Tell him that you are concerned about him and that you want to support him as he gets back on his feet. Talk to him about what type of work he wants to do. Look up job opportunities online in categories where he has either experience or skill. Suggest that he go to the local chamber of commerce to inquire about jobs. Urge him on. Your insistence may be annoying, but it may also help to get him focused again.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got married. My husband and I did not live together before marriage, so we are learning each other’s idiosyncrasies now. One thing that is a problem is that I am a night owl, and he is a morning person. We hardly ever get in bed at the same time. I feel like one of us is constantly disturbing the other’s sleep. I don’t know a solution, though, because we have such different sleep patterns. What do you recommend? -- Nighty Night, Denver

DEAR NIGHTY NIGHT: Getting enough sleep is essential for your long-term health and happiness. Without proper rest, you can become irritable, which will trigger other challenges in your marriage. What can you do? First, you can try little things, like putting a dim night light by your side of the bed so that you can slip into bed without turning on the lights whenever you are ready to go to sleep. Do not turn on any electronics, and try to settle quietly as you go to sleep. Make sure you have opaque curtains in your room so that in the morning the room stays dark when your husband gets up. He will need to be quiet when he gets up so as not to disturb you.

Another idea that some couples follow is to have separate rooms. Yes, that may sound crazy for newlyweds, but if you really do sleep differently, you may want to sleep in different rooms and come together at mutually agreed-upon times. You have to work out what works for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year on my birthday and every holiday, I get a call or email from a friend of mine. This year -- crickets. I’m worried about him. He is an older guy who recently retired, and he is single. He has always been a loner, so I don’t know whom to contact to check on him. I pray nothing has happened to him, but if I do hear from him again, I need him to give me a couple of emergency contact numbers. We have to look out for each other, right? -- Looking Out, Rochester, New York

DEAR LOOKING OUT: Let’s hope your friend is fine and just got distracted. Yes, it is a smart idea to ask him to share a few of his close friends’ contact information for emergency purposes. Promise not to bug any of his friends, but point out that you were honestly worried about him since he broke his pattern.

Be prepared not to get the desired result, though. A confirmed older bachelor is not someone who is accustomed to being traced, so to speak. He may balk at your idea. If he refuses, you will have to accept that you cannot help him to stay safe.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)