DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got married. My husband and I did not live together before marriage, so we are learning each other’s idiosyncrasies now. One thing that is a problem is that I am a night owl, and he is a morning person. We hardly ever get in bed at the same time. I feel like one of us is constantly disturbing the other’s sleep. I don’t know a solution, though, because we have such different sleep patterns. What do you recommend? -- Nighty Night, Denver

DEAR NIGHTY NIGHT: Getting enough sleep is essential for your long-term health and happiness. Without proper rest, you can become irritable, which will trigger other challenges in your marriage. What can you do? First, you can try little things, like putting a dim night light by your side of the bed so that you can slip into bed without turning on the lights whenever you are ready to go to sleep. Do not turn on any electronics, and try to settle quietly as you go to sleep. Make sure you have opaque curtains in your room so that in the morning the room stays dark when your husband gets up. He will need to be quiet when he gets up so as not to disturb you.

Another idea that some couples follow is to have separate rooms. Yes, that may sound crazy for newlyweds, but if you really do sleep differently, you may want to sleep in different rooms and come together at mutually agreed-upon times. You have to work out what works for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year on my birthday and every holiday, I get a call or email from a friend of mine. This year -- crickets. I’m worried about him. He is an older guy who recently retired, and he is single. He has always been a loner, so I don’t know whom to contact to check on him. I pray nothing has happened to him, but if I do hear from him again, I need him to give me a couple of emergency contact numbers. We have to look out for each other, right? -- Looking Out, Rochester, New York

DEAR LOOKING OUT: Let’s hope your friend is fine and just got distracted. Yes, it is a smart idea to ask him to share a few of his close friends’ contact information for emergency purposes. Promise not to bug any of his friends, but point out that you were honestly worried about him since he broke his pattern.

Be prepared not to get the desired result, though. A confirmed older bachelor is not someone who is accustomed to being traced, so to speak. He may balk at your idea. If he refuses, you will have to accept that you cannot help him to stay safe.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always wanted to write a book. When I tell people my personal story, they tell me I should. I don’t know if I’m the most unique person in the world, but I did come from difficult beginnings, and I have made a successful life. I tell good stories, too. The thing is that I speak well, but I have never been a writer. How can I expect to write and publish a book if that’s not my thing? -- Wannabe Author, Dallas

DEAR WANNABE AUTHOR: There are several options for you to consider to get your book written. Start off by talking into a recording device. Some will record your words and transcribe them into written words. In other words, you can dictate your book and then see what you come up with. You may be surprised to learn that your verbal stories can be edited into a cohesive, interesting book.

I recommend that you take a writing class as well. The type of book you want to write will guide your steps. If you want to write a memoir, that should be an easy class to find. Typically, you will work in a small group with other storytellers who are figuring out how to get their book on paper. You will have a professional leading the class who will give you constructive criticism, and the group members critique each other as well.

This is a good start. When it comes to publishing your book, you have several options. You can go the self-publishing route. Many people like using Amazon CreateSpace, which is affordable and easy to use. What’s tricky is that you have to do all of the promotion yourself in order to get your book published.

Alternatively, you can work to find a literary agent who will shop your book to a publisher -- if the agent thinks it will sell. This can be profitable, but it is also challenging. Do research so that you can make the best decision for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: All indications suggest that I am about to lose my job. My boss has stopped giving me assignments, and he constantly picks at everything I do. The other people on my job are busy while I am not. I did not get a good review last month. It is bad. I don’t think I have time to turn things around. I have started putting out resumes, but I am not feeling very confident right now. My parents said I can live at home until I sort out my work situation. Do you think I should quit before getting fired and try to find something somewhere else? -- On the Brink, Denver

DEAR ON THE BRINK: Your situation sounds dire. If you have already unsuccessfully attempted to adjust your performance based on the feedback your boss has given you and you believe the time is imminent for you to be fired, resigning could be a smart strategy. While it can be easier to find a job when you have a job, it is tough to not be able to get a good recommendation from a company because you were fired. Submit a resignation letter thanking your company for the experience you had there. Be upbeat and kind so that you can get a positive response in the future. Work hard to find a better fit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been mentoring young people for many years now. I work with some of them at my church. Others I have brought in to work for internships at my company. I love helping young people to get set in their lives. Mostly, this works well.

Recently, I was in an awkward situation. One of my mentees came to me to say that she is being abused by her stepfather. She said she is afraid to go home and asked if she could stay with me. My wife and I decided years ago to draw the line with the mentees, meaning that we would not house anyone. I cannot break our agreement, but I do want to help this young lady. When I mentioned finding her a shelter, she freaked out. What else can I suggest? -- Protecting the Young, Morristown, New Jersey

DEAR PROTECTING THE YOUNG: Call child protective services in your city to report the abuse. Even though you haven’t seen it firsthand, she has told you. That’s enough for you to report it, and the authorities will look into it. Tell them that the young lady asked to stay in your home, and ask them what you should recommend to her as an alternative. Ask if it is OK for you to find temporary housing for her from someone in your church. Perhaps someone can help in the short term while the matter is sorted. You and your mentee can also contact Childhelp, which is a national organization that provides crisis assistance and other counseling and referral services. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with professional crisis counselors who have access to a database of 55,000 emergency, social service and support resources. All calls are anonymous. Contact them at 800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453).

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is tone deaf. It’s no issue for us in the family, but I’m worried about him now. He told me he wants to join the chorus at his school because all his friends are doing it. I know that the chorus is fairly large, but I worry that he will be rejected or humiliated. My son is a confident 8-year-old. I don’t want him to lose his self-confidence if other kids start poking at him. Should I discourage the chorus idea? -- He Can’t Sing, Milwaukee

DEAR HE CAN’T SING: Do not dash your son’s hopes. At his age, being part of a chorus may be perfectly fine. The teacher will figure out immediately what his abilities are. The teacher may even be able to cultivate hidden talent in him. Plenty of children have sung in school choruses who would never be invited to become solo singers. In fact, in some elementary schools, all children must participate in chorus. This is to foster camaraderie. If your son confidently does his best, that may help him to ward off any students who poke fun at him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)