DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been mentoring young people for many years now. I work with some of them at my church. Others I have brought in to work for internships at my company. I love helping young people to get set in their lives. Mostly, this works well.

Recently, I was in an awkward situation. One of my mentees came to me to say that she is being abused by her stepfather. She said she is afraid to go home and asked if she could stay with me. My wife and I decided years ago to draw the line with the mentees, meaning that we would not house anyone. I cannot break our agreement, but I do want to help this young lady. When I mentioned finding her a shelter, she freaked out. What else can I suggest? -- Protecting the Young, Morristown, New Jersey

DEAR PROTECTING THE YOUNG: Call child protective services in your city to report the abuse. Even though you haven’t seen it firsthand, she has told you. That’s enough for you to report it, and the authorities will look into it. Tell them that the young lady asked to stay in your home, and ask them what you should recommend to her as an alternative. Ask if it is OK for you to find temporary housing for her from someone in your church. Perhaps someone can help in the short term while the matter is sorted. You and your mentee can also contact Childhelp, which is a national organization that provides crisis assistance and other counseling and referral services. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with professional crisis counselors who have access to a database of 55,000 emergency, social service and support resources. All calls are anonymous. Contact them at 800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453).

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is tone deaf. It’s no issue for us in the family, but I’m worried about him now. He told me he wants to join the chorus at his school because all his friends are doing it. I know that the chorus is fairly large, but I worry that he will be rejected or humiliated. My son is a confident 8-year-old. I don’t want him to lose his self-confidence if other kids start poking at him. Should I discourage the chorus idea? -- He Can’t Sing, Milwaukee

DEAR HE CAN’T SING: Do not dash your son’s hopes. At his age, being part of a chorus may be perfectly fine. The teacher will figure out immediately what his abilities are. The teacher may even be able to cultivate hidden talent in him. Plenty of children have sung in school choruses who would never be invited to become solo singers. In fact, in some elementary schools, all children must participate in chorus. This is to foster camaraderie. If your son confidently does his best, that may help him to ward off any students who poke fun at him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend owns a gift shop in a nearby town. I usually buy gifts from her for my family for Christmas, but I didn’t buy any gifts this year. I feel bad that I didn’t support her, but I couldn’t afford it. I decided to stick within my budget for a change. I have been avoiding her because I feel bad that I wasn’t able to patronize her store. What can I say to her so that she will know that my not coming in to make any purchases was not personal? -- No Holiday Shopping, Tampa, Florida

DEAR NO HOLIDAY SHOPPING: Stop avoiding your friend. That is what is making things awkward. Reach out to her or stop by and wish her a happy New Year. Then tell her what you told me: You are sorry you couldn’t buy anything from her this year, but your budget was tight. Tell her you hope she had a good season, and that you wish her the best for the coming year.

What your friend already knows, if her shop is even marginally successful, is that she cannot depend on friends to keep her afloat. Friends are great for goodwill and emotional support. Being in business requires that you find and cultivate other clients.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think I’m like a lot of people in that every New Year I try to commit to doing something for myself to make my life better. In theory, this is a good idea. The problem is that I never follow through after the first month or so. I know that isn’t unusual, but still, I want to be different this year. I have a couple of goals, especially about my health. I gained a lot of weight last year, mainly due to stress on the job and eating late at night. I want to turn things around for myself, but I’m afraid that if I say I’m committing to it, I will just fall off like always. Do you have any tips for how to reach a New Year’s goal? -- Ready to Change, Boston

DEAR READY TO CHANGE: The way to stick to a goal is to make up your mind and then make a plan. What I have done that works is to say that I will exercise every single day. It hasn’t worked for me to commit to three days a week, because that often turned into no days a month! By committing to every day, I usually get in five to seven days every week. That includes holidays and vacations. If you decide not to put your priorities on hold, it is easier to fulfill them.

Use a calendar to remind yourself of your promises. If you have a smartphone or watch, set alarms that tell you when you are supposed to work out each day. Same goes for when you will eat your last meal. Decide you will stop eating late at night, and that when you eat after dinner, it will be non-fattening, healthy food. Check in with yourself every day, and at the end of each month, reflect on what you have accomplished. This will help you to stay the course. Good luck!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just told me that she is pregnant. She is a sophomore in college, and she has been on a fast track in her career. She does not want to have an abortion, but she has no money, and the father is not interested in being involved.

My husband and I want our daughter to complete her education. Otherwise, how will she be able to take care of this child? We are debating what to do. We are just now enjoying being empty nesters, but we wonder if we should take the baby and raise it until she finishes school and gets a job. Or she may put the child up for adoption. We are so torn about giving the baby away. It’s all so difficult. What do you recommend? -- Baby Talk, Cincinnati

DEAR BABY TALK: This is a decision that the three of you should make together. Starting with your husband, though, talk about what you are willing and able to do and what ground rules you would like to put in place if you were to take the baby for a while. Would you expect your daughter to participate in the child-rearing? Will she live at home with you and the baby? What would you expect of her?

Next, sit down with your daughter and talk it through. Find out what she wants. If her desire is to keep the baby and she accepts your offer to help, discuss the terms. Put them in writing so that you will have to them refer to over time. Recall that taking care of a newborn is hard work. It may not last forever, but know, too, that many grandparents end up being primary caregivers for years. If you are up for the challenge, go for it. But remain clear with your daughter so that she honors her end of the agreement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, someone sent you a letter asking how they could mention to their friend that their child has bad body odor. I just wanted to mention that sometimes children can be put on medication that helps with body odor and excess sweating when normal deodorant is not enough. A consultation with a dermatologist can be helpful in determining which medication is the best. -- Concerned Reader, Colorado

DEAR CONCERNED READER: Thank you for your recommendation. It is generally wise to check with your doctor if your body begins to do something unusual. With children, especially as they approach adolescence, many hormonal changes occur, including the onset of body odor. In some instances, bathing more mindfully helps, as can deodorant. But checking with a doctor is smart to ensure that there are no medical problems and to find out if there is a simple solution outside of the normal options, like deodorant, to solve the problem.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)