life

Harriette Wishes Readers a Happy New Year

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 1st, 2018

DEAR READERS: Happy New Year! What a blessing to step into 2018. I truly believe that it is a precious honor to be present and to have the opportunity to work toward our goals and make our dreams come true. I am a big believer in the power of dreaming. Since I was a little girl, I would dream up ideas for business, for creative play, even for getting out of responsibilities. You know how kids can be! My dreams told me that I was going to be a writer. Dreams do come true.

I thought it would be valuable to talk about the power of our dreams and intentions as we begin the year, because I know that within each one of us there are worthwhile ideas just waiting to emerge. And yet, too often we do not take the time to notice them, let alone write them down or tend to them so that they can manifest.

Consider this a clarion call to you to slow down long enough to identify and then nurture the dream inside. Go a step further and accept that it is your personal duty in your life to cultivate the fruit of your deepest convictions. Why? Because too many of us grumble along doing things that do not fulfill us out of a false sense of stability or fear or laziness. Yes, I said it. Because it’s true! Some of us give up because everything just seems too hard, or a catastrophe befell us and the climb out of the hole seems too far away. Others do not dare believe that their measly ideas would amount to anything worth sharing.

To all of those voices inside our heads, I say, “STOP!” Stop the broken record of negativity that serves only to lower our self-esteem and paralyze us from taking action. Stop complaining or hiding or plodding along doing things that do not serve your highest self.

Evaluate your life. Figure out what is working for you and what can be discarded. This includes people, places and things that simply must go. Be still long enough to hear that voice within. Pay attention to your dreams -- those that occur in your sleep and as you are going about your day. Write down what you harvest. Then nurture those ideas. Give yourself an hour each day to cultivate your dreams. Figure out what you need to learn to be prepared to do the work. Align yourself with the people who will support you. Walk away from those who stand in your way.

Why is this important? Our world thrives based on the goodness that we put into it. When people are not offering their best to themselves, their families, their communities and their jobs, negativity can fester. We live in times that require us to reach for the highest in ourselves and others. Our ideas, our inventions and our discoveries are essential to the successful journey that equals each of our lives. Every life is valuable. The question is how valuable do you consider your contributions to be? And are you willing to do the work to make the best of you manifest? I hope so. It is time to leap into your greatness!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Mental HealthHolidays & Celebrations
life

Reader Should Share Experience at Company With Friend

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 30th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: A professional friend called me to ask my advice about working for a company I worked for a few years ago. I had a horrible experience working with management, even though I liked the job I did. It’s weird -- on one hand, it could be awful, but it was good, too. My friend was asked to assume a leadership role. It could be a good opportunity for him. I don’t want to dash his hopes.

My biggest concern is that when I worked with these people, they did not pay their bills. It hurt my professional reputation. I would hate for my friend to have the same thing happen to him. He is so excited. Do I dare tell him details of what happened when I worked there? -- Professional Advice, Chicago

DEAR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE: Your friend contacted you as a reference, believing that you would share your professional insights with him. Do that. Too often, people go into new opportunities without getting perspective. Find out from your friend what is being offered to him, what responsibilities he will have and what promises have been made regarding hiring. Suggest that he ask directly about the questionable debt practicies.

Then tell him your pros and cons. Be specific about what you appreciated about the job and how you benefited. Conversely, describe the areas that concerned you. Do not attempt to make a decision for your friend. Instead, paint a clear picture of the company from your perspective, and then leave him to make his own decision.

Friends & NeighborsWork & School
life

Reader Needs to Apply for Passport for Work

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 30th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company is taking the leadership team on a retreat soon, and I have been invited. This sounds like a wonderful opportunity. The only thing is, I have never been out of the country, and I don’t have a passport. I heard that it takes a long time to get a passport. I don’t want to miss out on this trip. I also don’t want everybody to know that I have never been anywhere. Most of my co-workers who are on the fast track spent a semester abroad while they were in college. Quite a few of them go to the Caribbean every year. Me, I just work and go home. I work a gazillion hours, which is why I have been promoted. I worry that I’m not going to measure up. -- Going Abroad, Cincinnati

DEAR GOING ABROAD: You are likely not alone. Many people get passports when they are adults. Do not be ashamed about that. Get proactive. You can get an expedited passport -- for a premium price -- in a matter of days. You may need proof of travel, which would be a copy of your airline ticket. Then you should get your passport photos taken and choose an expediter to process your passport. Depending on how much time you have, you can also process it normally. Without extra fees, you need four to six weeks. Expedited is two to three weeks, and expedited through an agency is about eight days. For more information, visit travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/requirements/processing-times.html.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Work & School
life

Reader Questions Bringing Up Faith at Work

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 29th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a woman of faith. Now that I am in my 40s, I can see even better how important my faith has been in my life. I know, of course, that I have worked hard and that has helped me to have the wonderful job that I have. I am a good wife and mother. So far, even though I have had some challenges, my life is great. I don’t take this for granted; I believe that this is happening because I have faith in God. I am active in my church and do my best to live a well-balanced life. When people ask me why I am so positive, I like to tell them why. But I worry that I shouldn’t talk about faith at work. I never try to get people to follow my path, but I do want to be able to tell my truth. What do you recommend? -- In the Spirit, Atlanta

DEAR IN THE SPIRIT: You are wise not to proselytize anywhere, especially at work. Your focus at work should be the tasks at hand. Of course, it is also important to build relationships with the people on your job. What you are already doing sounds right. Be a good example of honorable behavior and focus. When asked why you are the way you are in a one-on-one situation, feel free to express your belief that you know you work hard but that your faith is your foundation. Keep it simple unless you believe the person asking is sincerely interested in learning more. Do not invite co-workers to pray with you or go to church with you.

Be mindful that a work environment is legally supposed to be free of any religious affiliation. That said, if someone asks to learn more about how you practice your faith, you can share more information. There is no need to be paranoid, by the way. Just remember that everyone’s religious views are acceptable in a work environment.

Friends & NeighborsWork & SchoolEtiquette & Ethics
life

Reader Wants to Bear Witness for Co-Workers

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 29th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I know that my former boss came onto a couple of the interns and young assistants at my job when I first started my career. I know because on two occasions I saw him do it, and on other occasions the women confided in me when they were upset about it. I got in touch with the ones I knew how to reach to find out if they want to speak up in light of so many people telling their story these days. They said, “absolutely not.” I feel like this man should be held accountable, but he did not do anything to me. Can I speak out for them? -- Me Too, Dallas

DEAR ME TOO: It is noble that you want to stand up for your former co-workers, but there is not much you can do. Even for the brave women who have included their voices in this horrific discussion about sexual misconduct in the workplace, it is very difficult to prove the allegations. For you to lead a charge as a witness when the alleged victims will not say anything will not work. Worse, it would expose them to unwanted public scrutiny. You can let them know that you will stand as a witness if they ever change their minds.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Etiquette & EthicsAbuseWork & SchoolSex & Gender

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