DEAR HARRIETTE: I know a woman who is active in a multilevel marketing company. She hounds me to become part of her network, and I find it annoying. I like the woman enough, but I think I have to cut her out of my life because she doesn’t know how to just be a friend. She’s all about sales. I understand that we all have to work. I work, too. But in my downtime, I don’t want to be hustled. Is there anything I can say to her to get her to back off, or will I just be wasting my breath? -- Stop the Hard Sell, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR STOP THE HARD SELL: You should know that the training for many of these multilevel marketing firms pushes people to be persistent and to work to get others into their network. The woman in question is likely following the steps she has been taught and may not realize her behavior can seem off-putting and invasive. Chances are, she will continue to try to sell to you whenever she engages you. If you want to give it a try, you can speak to her and be blunt. Make it clear that you do not appreciate the constant sales pitch. Let her know that if you are to even try to become friends, you need her to back off. See if she is willing to make the effort. If not, stop including her in your activities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to have a serious crush on this guy, but it didn’t work out. The timing was all wrong. That was about 10 years ago. We work in the same industry, and I recently saw him again. Turns out, he is working on a project I will be working on as well. He is excellent at what he does, so I know he will do a great job. My issue is that all of the feelings I had years ago flooded back in when I saw him. I felt like my heart was beating faster when I was in the room with him. I think this is crazy. I’m a grown woman, and this is a work situation. I don’t want to get caught up lusting for him and lose focus on the work. Plus, I’m too nervous to make any overture. Last time I really put my foot in my mouth. How should I handle this? -- Still Crushing, San Diego

DEAR STILL CRUSHING: Throw some cold water on your face and turn your attention to your work. You are an adult and a professional. Let your mature attributes outweigh your libido. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. The tug of the heart and loins is real. Keep yourself in check.

Do not flirt with this man. Do not dress up for him. Do not do any of the things you would naturally do when you are trying to draw attention to yourself. Stay laser focused on the job at hand. Be friendly, of course, but demonstrate you are a professional member of the team and it is your pleasure to work with him. The end.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor is pregnant. I know because another neighbor in my building told me, but my neighbor hasn’t said anything directly. I know when I was pregnant I didn’t tell anyone for months because I had previously had a miscarriage. I’m wondering if I should say anything to congratulate her, or wait until she lets me know. We are friendly but not close. I don’t want to seem insensitive since having a baby is such a precious thing. Will I seem rude if I don’t mention it? -- Being Neighborly, Bronx, New York

DEAR BEING NEIGHBORLY: Trust your instincts and say nothing for a while. If all goes well, she will begin to show. Don’t mention it even if she is showing a little, because she may be keeping it to herself until she feels certain the baby is growing well. If you notice her with a huge belly, obviously say something then. Congratulate her. You can congratulate her warmly and ask how she is feeling. Since you are neighbors, you can also ask if she needs anything. Be welcoming without being pushy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my last job, my company had all of us participate in Secret Santa. It was a lot of fun, so I asked my new boss if we could add Secret Santa to our celebrations. She seemed lukewarm about it. She didn’t straight out say no, but I could tell she isn’t a fan of the idea. She gave me permission to take a poll at the office to see if others like the idea.

I wonder if I should just let it go since she wasn’t enthusiastic. I want to be viewed positively by my boss. What should I do? -- 'Tis the Season, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR 'TIS THE SEASON: Your boss’s response may have been tepid, but it wasn’t a no. Follow her advice and ask the staff if they would like to participate in Secret Santa. Outline how it would work. Typically, people’s names go into a bowl and everyone selects a name. There should be a small dollar amount as the cap for spending. Keeping the cost low prevents others from feeing stretched, and it also requires them to be creative. Gifts should be appropriate, meaning nothing romantically suggestive, something reflective of the person’s interests or personality. Often Secret Santa gifts are given out at a company holiday party. If your company already hosts such an event, suggest tagging on to that. If not, the gifts can be given independently.

After you have laid it out for your co-workers, ask them to share whether they will be interested in participating. Since you want to bring your boss back a clear picture of the staff’s interest, ask them to email you with their thoughts either way. That way you have documentation if needed to back up the totals you give your boss. If the team wants to proceed, let her know and coordinate it. If they do not, let your boss know that, and be sure not to have hard feelings. Your boss should view you positively no matter the outcome if you remain a team player.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother told me he was diagnosed with diabetes. When he went for a medical checkup, the doctor tested him and his A1C number was extremely high. He was prescribed a particular medication that should regulate his blood sugar. When he told me all this at the time, he seemed worried but relieved in the sense that his doctor had given him medication that should help get his body under control.

I spoke to him to months later to see how he’s doing, and he says he hasn’t started taking the medication yet. I was shocked and asked him why. He shrugged it off and said, “I haven’t started yet.” End of discussion.

I am so worried about him. When I looked up the effects of uncontrolled diabetes, it made my head swim. He could die if he doesn’t take measures right away. What can I do to encourage him? -- Sick Brother, Detroit

DEAR SICK BROTHER: You cannot control your brother, but you can encourage him. One way is to scare him. Do some research on the complications that diabetics face -- anything from thirstiness and frequent urination to skin problems, kidney disease, blindness, neuropathy, amputations or stroke. When his condition is controlled, your brother stands a much better chance of living a healthy, productive life. For more information, you can visit the American Diabetes Association’s website: diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/complications.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going to a therapist for several years. In the beginning he was helpful, but now I’m beginning to question how serious he is about our time together. In our last session, he answered his phone twice. Though the calls were brief, they occurred in the middle of my paid-for time. In another recent session, he spent at least 15 minutes fidgeting with his smartphone while he was supposed to be listening to me. After a while, I stopped talking until he looked up and put the phone away.

I’m going to him to deal with sensitive issues. At the very least, I think he should pay full attention. Should I say something or stop going? -- Distracted Shrink, Philadelphia

DEAR DISTRACTED SHRINK: By all means, tell your therapist you do not appreciate his distracted behavior during your sessions. Point out all that you can remember, and make sure he is listening and receiving the message when you give it.

Depending on how you feel about working with him now will determine your next steps. If generally you think he does a good job and is still helpful to you, tell him you want to continue working with him, provided he is willing to stay focused on you during the entire session.

If you think it’s best to leave and find a new therapist, tell him you have decided to stop working with him. Thank him for the years he has helped you, and point out that you think it’s unprofessional to do the various things he has done in your sessions. Recommend he not behave that way with anyone else.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)