DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends is battling an eating disorder. I have thought this for years, but I never knew quite what to say. She recently told me she went away to a rehab place to try to learn how to eat properly. She went and did everything she was told, but she hasn’t gained weight. I am so worried about her. She is kind of tall and probably weighs less than 100 pounds. How can I be a friend to her during this period when she is trying to face her demons? -- Supporting a Friend, Las Vegas

DEAR SUPPORTING A FRIEND: According to the National Eating Disorders organization, it can be tough for a friend or family member to have an impact on a loved one who is suffering an eating disorder. What you can do is be honest and firm about what you are observing about the person and how you feel about it. People who are battling eating disorders have an illness, and they need professional help.

Tell your friend you love her, but she must go to a doctor for the medical and emotional support that can get her healthy again. Encourage that. Take care of yourself as well. Do not get so caught up in your friend’s ups and downs that you forget yourself. Be an example of good health by eating in moderation and exercising regularly. For more ideas, go to bit.ly/HCEatingDisorders.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am friendly with a group of women, and we all have teenage children. We represent many backgrounds, and our friendships have been rewarding for years. Now, as our children become interested in dating, things are beginning to change. There are fewer “play dates” between our children now that there is a chance they might actually date each other. I get that most of us would like for our children to date people who share their ethnic background or their socioeconomic reality, but we all are in the same school. We chose to be there. I hate that suddenly my black child is not as accepted on the dating scene in this largely white environment. How can I help my daughter manage what now feels like rejection? -- No Longer Welcome, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR NO LONGER WELCOME: Naivete says our culture should have advanced beyond such polarization in 2017. Many people do believe that our children should be able to love whomever they like and create a family accordingly, regardless of race, religion, economic background or anything else. And yet many people, deep down inside, prefer that their children marry within a certain community. This is also true among many African-Americans.

What can you do about it? Expose your daughter to a broader group of young people, including people who share her background. Do not just rely on school friends as potential dating partners, especially when you see the friction that seems to be growing among her peers. Reinforce in your daughter that she is beautiful and worthy of a partner who will love and cherish her for who she is. When others shun her, remind her that she deserves to be treated with respect. Those who do not offer that do not deserve her time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is 80 years old and still working. She has a part-time job as a nurse’s aide, a job she has had for most of her adult life. I hate that she has to work as a senior citizen, but I don’t make enough money to help her. I was laid off from my job two years ago and barely scrape together enough money to keep my apartment. I do go and cook food for her every week and do my best to spend time with her. What else can I do? -- For My Mother, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

FOR MY MOTHER: Showing your mother how much you love her by paying attention to her regularly is important. She must know you have limited resources, so she doesn’t expect you to pay for her. What you can do is look into what government programs exist that may be able to help her. With extremely limited income, as well as her senior status, your mother may be eligible for subsidies that would make it possible for her to stop working. It is not easy to navigate the system, but this is what you can do to help your mother have some comfort in her old age. Go to this article for informational links: bit.ly/HCAging.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman who went to college with me many moons ago. She works at a school where my daughter is applying. When we saw each other, it was pleasant, and we exchanged information. Normally, I’m not one to believe in currying favor, but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my child. How can I follow up with her to learn more about the process without creating an uncomfortable situation? I want her help, but I don’t want to make her feel weird about it. -- For My Child, Pittsburgh

DEAR FOR MY CHILD: Assume the positive. You had a pleasant reunion. This is a good sign! Chances are, she will be happy to talk to you about the options available for your daughter. How much she can help is to be determined, but it surely can’t hurt to talk to someone on the inside. Follow up with her and let her know you and your daughter are very interested in this school. Ask her if she has insight about the process and recommendations for how you should navigate next steps to help you to have a good chance at being selected. Be transparent with her. Welcome any help she feels comfortable offering -- from general advice to a direct recommendation to those with influence.

By being open and honest about your position, you make it easier for her to give you a direct and honest response. Point out that you think it was serendipity for the two of you to run into each other after so much time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college is having its annual homecoming celebration soon. I have attended every year since I graduated. I’m worried this year, though. A neighboring school just had a bomb scare that shut the school down for more than an hour. Thank God it wasn’t terrorism, but it got me thinking. I’m worried it won’t be safe this year going into a big crowd, even though I know it’s typically a friendly group of people who know each other. How can I decide if I should go? -- Into Danger, Washington

DEAR INTO DANGER: Many people these days are second-guessing whether they should attend group events because there is a fear that someone not of sound mind may try to hurt the crowd. While this is a common concern given the seemingly random and tragic events of late at public gatherings, I want to urge you not to give in to your fear. Do research instead. Contact your school and ask what is being done to protect those who will attend homecoming. It is likely that there will be additional security in place given the recent concerns.

If you go, notice where all exits are. Make a plan of action in case of emergency. Be aware of your surroundings. Do your best to have fun! By continuing to enjoy your life, you do not let the bad guys win.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a neighborhood that once was very nice. Hardworking families built their homes and worked to keep their property looking good. Now, many of the homes have been sold, and the new owners aren’t as conscientious as our parents were. My next-door neighbor lets the grass grow until it flowers. She has a dog that she doesn’t bother to curb. Her property is going downhill fast. It seems as though every third house has an issue. How can I address this to try to save the neighborhood before it’s too late? -- There Goes the Neighborhood, Baltimore

DEAR THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD: Does your neighborhood have an organizing body? If not, start one. Invite everyone to a get-acquainted meeting. Make the invitation welcoming and festive so people will want to come. Have the meeting at your home if you can. Do your best to create an uplifting environment where neighbors will feel comfortable and at ease.

Identify individuals who are longtime residents as well as any newcomers who are doing a good job of taking care of their property. Invite them in advance to say something about how much they love where they live and how they hope the neighborhood will continue to grow.

Have a brief program where you welcome everyone, tell them your history in the neighborhood, including what the community was like when you were growing up. Talk about what you hope the community will be now and in the future. Invite your other speakers to share their thoughts. Then open it up for discussion. Try to keep the conversation upbeat even as you ask neighbors to tend to their yards and gardens and do their best to keep their homes looking beautiful.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)