DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is 80 years old and still working. She has a part-time job as a nurse’s aide, a job she has had for most of her adult life. I hate that she has to work as a senior citizen, but I don’t make enough money to help her. I was laid off from my job two years ago and barely scrape together enough money to keep my apartment. I do go and cook food for her every week and do my best to spend time with her. What else can I do? -- For My Mother, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

FOR MY MOTHER: Showing your mother how much you love her by paying attention to her regularly is important. She must know you have limited resources, so she doesn’t expect you to pay for her. What you can do is look into what government programs exist that may be able to help her. With extremely limited income, as well as her senior status, your mother may be eligible for subsidies that would make it possible for her to stop working. It is not easy to navigate the system, but this is what you can do to help your mother have some comfort in her old age. Go to this article for informational links: bit.ly/HCAging.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman who went to college with me many moons ago. She works at a school where my daughter is applying. When we saw each other, it was pleasant, and we exchanged information. Normally, I’m not one to believe in currying favor, but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my child. How can I follow up with her to learn more about the process without creating an uncomfortable situation? I want her help, but I don’t want to make her feel weird about it. -- For My Child, Pittsburgh

DEAR FOR MY CHILD: Assume the positive. You had a pleasant reunion. This is a good sign! Chances are, she will be happy to talk to you about the options available for your daughter. How much she can help is to be determined, but it surely can’t hurt to talk to someone on the inside. Follow up with her and let her know you and your daughter are very interested in this school. Ask her if she has insight about the process and recommendations for how you should navigate next steps to help you to have a good chance at being selected. Be transparent with her. Welcome any help she feels comfortable offering -- from general advice to a direct recommendation to those with influence.

By being open and honest about your position, you make it easier for her to give you a direct and honest response. Point out that you think it was serendipity for the two of you to run into each other after so much time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college is having its annual homecoming celebration soon. I have attended every year since I graduated. I’m worried this year, though. A neighboring school just had a bomb scare that shut the school down for more than an hour. Thank God it wasn’t terrorism, but it got me thinking. I’m worried it won’t be safe this year going into a big crowd, even though I know it’s typically a friendly group of people who know each other. How can I decide if I should go? -- Into Danger, Washington

DEAR INTO DANGER: Many people these days are second-guessing whether they should attend group events because there is a fear that someone not of sound mind may try to hurt the crowd. While this is a common concern given the seemingly random and tragic events of late at public gatherings, I want to urge you not to give in to your fear. Do research instead. Contact your school and ask what is being done to protect those who will attend homecoming. It is likely that there will be additional security in place given the recent concerns.

If you go, notice where all exits are. Make a plan of action in case of emergency. Be aware of your surroundings. Do your best to have fun! By continuing to enjoy your life, you do not let the bad guys win.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a neighborhood that once was very nice. Hardworking families built their homes and worked to keep their property looking good. Now, many of the homes have been sold, and the new owners aren’t as conscientious as our parents were. My next-door neighbor lets the grass grow until it flowers. She has a dog that she doesn’t bother to curb. Her property is going downhill fast. It seems as though every third house has an issue. How can I address this to try to save the neighborhood before it’s too late? -- There Goes the Neighborhood, Baltimore

DEAR THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD: Does your neighborhood have an organizing body? If not, start one. Invite everyone to a get-acquainted meeting. Make the invitation welcoming and festive so people will want to come. Have the meeting at your home if you can. Do your best to create an uplifting environment where neighbors will feel comfortable and at ease.

Identify individuals who are longtime residents as well as any newcomers who are doing a good job of taking care of their property. Invite them in advance to say something about how much they love where they live and how they hope the neighborhood will continue to grow.

Have a brief program where you welcome everyone, tell them your history in the neighborhood, including what the community was like when you were growing up. Talk about what you hope the community will be now and in the future. Invite your other speakers to share their thoughts. Then open it up for discussion. Try to keep the conversation upbeat even as you ask neighbors to tend to their yards and gardens and do their best to keep their homes looking beautiful.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am up for a job at a large company in my town, and I learned one of my good friends is interviewing for the job as well. She is so excited, and she confided in me she is trying out for this job. I didn’t have the presence of mind to tell her I am interviewing for the same job. I’m sure we will see each other during the interview process. How can I let her know beforehand that I am also in the running without seeming like I am betraying her? We have both been unemployed for a while, so we both need a job badly. I can’t step aside on this one. -- On the Line, Severn, Maryland

DEAR ON THE LINE: Call up your friend or go to visit her. Wish her luck for the job interview. Add that you want her to know you are also interviewing for the job. Say you suspect many people you know will be in the running as well, because it is a good opportunity during tough times. Admit that you didn’t tell her right away because she was so excited and you didn’t want to dash her spirits. Offer your blessing for both of you to find something.

DEAR HARRIETTE: All my friends are planning to go together to buy the latest smartphone. They are making it kind of a “thing” so they will all be connected through this cool new device. I wish I could join them, but it’s not even a thought for me. I have student loans and other bills to pay. I cannot think of buying a phone that costs almost a thousand dollars. I don’t want to be the only person who isn’t part of the clique, but I can’t do it. How can I make them understand? -- Watching My Wallet, San Diego

DEAR WATCHING MY WALLET: You are smart not to get caught up in the marketing frenzy that has your friends set to jump into the latest craze. Be upfront with them. Without judging them, explain that you will not be participating. You understand how exciting it is to try out the new phone, but right now you have committed your funds to other things. No need to go into detail about your financial woes. You have no reason to feel uncomfortable or ashamed of your choice, either.

As hard as it may seem in the moment, you should feel proud of yourself for making your own decision -- what makes sense for you and your life right now regardless of your friends’ choices. It is not easy standing up for yourself, especially when peer pressure is so intense. Congratulations on standing your ground!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)