DEAR HARRIETTE: My college is having its annual homecoming celebration soon. I have attended every year since I graduated. I’m worried this year, though. A neighboring school just had a bomb scare that shut the school down for more than an hour. Thank God it wasn’t terrorism, but it got me thinking. I’m worried it won’t be safe this year going into a big crowd, even though I know it’s typically a friendly group of people who know each other. How can I decide if I should go? -- Into Danger, Washington

DEAR INTO DANGER: Many people these days are second-guessing whether they should attend group events because there is a fear that someone not of sound mind may try to hurt the crowd. While this is a common concern given the seemingly random and tragic events of late at public gatherings, I want to urge you not to give in to your fear. Do research instead. Contact your school and ask what is being done to protect those who will attend homecoming. It is likely that there will be additional security in place given the recent concerns.

If you go, notice where all exits are. Make a plan of action in case of emergency. Be aware of your surroundings. Do your best to have fun! By continuing to enjoy your life, you do not let the bad guys win.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a neighborhood that once was very nice. Hardworking families built their homes and worked to keep their property looking good. Now, many of the homes have been sold, and the new owners aren’t as conscientious as our parents were. My next-door neighbor lets the grass grow until it flowers. She has a dog that she doesn’t bother to curb. Her property is going downhill fast. It seems as though every third house has an issue. How can I address this to try to save the neighborhood before it’s too late? -- There Goes the Neighborhood, Baltimore

DEAR THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD: Does your neighborhood have an organizing body? If not, start one. Invite everyone to a get-acquainted meeting. Make the invitation welcoming and festive so people will want to come. Have the meeting at your home if you can. Do your best to create an uplifting environment where neighbors will feel comfortable and at ease.

Identify individuals who are longtime residents as well as any newcomers who are doing a good job of taking care of their property. Invite them in advance to say something about how much they love where they live and how they hope the neighborhood will continue to grow.

Have a brief program where you welcome everyone, tell them your history in the neighborhood, including what the community was like when you were growing up. Talk about what you hope the community will be now and in the future. Invite your other speakers to share their thoughts. Then open it up for discussion. Try to keep the conversation upbeat even as you ask neighbors to tend to their yards and gardens and do their best to keep their homes looking beautiful.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am up for a job at a large company in my town, and I learned one of my good friends is interviewing for the job as well. She is so excited, and she confided in me she is trying out for this job. I didn’t have the presence of mind to tell her I am interviewing for the same job. I’m sure we will see each other during the interview process. How can I let her know beforehand that I am also in the running without seeming like I am betraying her? We have both been unemployed for a while, so we both need a job badly. I can’t step aside on this one. -- On the Line, Severn, Maryland

DEAR ON THE LINE: Call up your friend or go to visit her. Wish her luck for the job interview. Add that you want her to know you are also interviewing for the job. Say you suspect many people you know will be in the running as well, because it is a good opportunity during tough times. Admit that you didn’t tell her right away because she was so excited and you didn’t want to dash her spirits. Offer your blessing for both of you to find something.

DEAR HARRIETTE: All my friends are planning to go together to buy the latest smartphone. They are making it kind of a “thing” so they will all be connected through this cool new device. I wish I could join them, but it’s not even a thought for me. I have student loans and other bills to pay. I cannot think of buying a phone that costs almost a thousand dollars. I don’t want to be the only person who isn’t part of the clique, but I can’t do it. How can I make them understand? -- Watching My Wallet, San Diego

DEAR WATCHING MY WALLET: You are smart not to get caught up in the marketing frenzy that has your friends set to jump into the latest craze. Be upfront with them. Without judging them, explain that you will not be participating. You understand how exciting it is to try out the new phone, but right now you have committed your funds to other things. No need to go into detail about your financial woes. You have no reason to feel uncomfortable or ashamed of your choice, either.

As hard as it may seem in the moment, you should feel proud of yourself for making your own decision -- what makes sense for you and your life right now regardless of your friends’ choices. It is not easy standing up for yourself, especially when peer pressure is so intense. Congratulations on standing your ground!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the neighbor who never participates in Halloween activities. I don’t have children, so I have never been pressured to do it. Also, I just don’t dig it. The dark imagery of corpses and goblins and all that death stuff doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t begrudge the people who are into it, though. What bothers me is that my neighbors get upset every year when I don’t put out candy or welcome the kids who come knocking. I don’t want to get into a political debate with anyone about my beliefs, but I would appreciate it if they backed off. What can I do or say to get them to have their fun without trying to get me to be a part of it? -- Off the Ghostly Grid, Denver

DEAR OFF THE GHOSTLY GRID: What many people do when they don’t want to participate in Halloween activities in their neighborhoods is to go out to dinner or go elsewhere during the peak hours when children typically come knocking. That way you don’t feel any angst about not opening the door when you hear a knock. As far as your neighbors go, stop trying to convince them Halloween isn’t your bag. You are not the only person who doesn’t go the distance for this holiday. Be clear in your intentions and let it go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an almost-affair with a guy many years ago when I was having trouble with my husband. What I mean by that is, I went out to dinner with a guy and he kissed me before we parted ways. Nothing else happened, but apparently he was really into me. I say that because my husband and I ran into him at an event, and he walked up to us and told my husband he was my ex. What? I don’t even remember his name. I’m not kidding. His comment jarred me into remembering who he was, but I swear our encounter was nothing. How can I squash his overture? -- Long Ago, Seattle

DEAR LONG AGO: Tell your husband what you remember about this guy. As uncomfortable as it may be to reveal your slight indiscretion years ago, you are best off by keeping your husband in the know. In this way, this guy has no power over you. If going out with him helped you to see your marriage was more valuable than a potential fling, be sure to tell your husband that as well.

Use this uncomfortable moment as an opportunity to check in with your husband about the health of your marriage today. Are you both happy? Is there anything you can do to reinvigorate your life together? If you see this guy again, ignore him. By strengthening your conviction in your marriage, you neutralize his very presence.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)