DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a fancy restaurant with a group of friends the other night. We had never been there before, but we had heard the food is great. As we enjoyed our meal, I noticed from my peripheral vision that the husband of one of my colleagues was at the restaurant. He was definitely with another woman. At one point, we saw each other, and I spoke to him. It was extremely awkward. The way he was behaving with this dining partner seemed romantic to me, but I know he is living with his wife and kids.

I know this is none of my business, but I feel like I would want to be told if the shoe were on the other foot. Do I tell my colleague I saw her husband? If so, how much of what I observed should I say? -- Caught, Seattle

DEAR CAUGHT: This is tricky. Often when couples are experiencing the stress of one spouse cheating, the other is in denial about it, and there’s very little anyone can do or say to open their eyes. You should not try to convince her of anything. If you want to tell her you saw her husband, keep it simple. Tell her you went to the particular restaurant in question with your friends and noticed her husband was there. You two spoke, and that was it. If she asks who he was with, you can describe his dinner partner, but do not go into detail about the behavior you observed. Let it be enough that you tell her you saw him dining with a woman. She will have to take it from here.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to the 50th birthday party of an industry friend. I like him a lot and want to go to the dance party. The invitation says it is only for me, but I’m married, and this friend knows my husband. Do you think it’s OK for me to contact him to see if I can bring my husband? While I do go to work events in the evening by myself sometimes, this doesn’t feel like that kind of party. It’s on a Sunday, and I want my husband to enjoy it with me. I also don’t want to put too much pressure on the birthday boy. How should I handle this? -- Plus-One, Denver

DEAR PLUS-ONE: It is perfectly appropriate for you to ask your friend if you can bring your husband. Creating a non-transferrable invitation is common these days, in part because it is so easy to share information electronically. The host wants to limit and control his guest list, which makes sense. Many of his friends may be single too, making it less of an issue to come solo. As a married woman, you have every right to ask if you can bring your husband. In all likelihood, he will say yes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a weird position. On one hand, I feel for people who are in need, like the ones who beg for money or food on the street and who are obviously in a bad situation. But I’m annoyed by people, especially young people, who sit on the sidewalk, beg for money and get an attitude when I don’t give anything to them. I may look good, but I am struggling too, and I have a job. The last thing I’m going to do is give money to somebody my own age when I wish I could be asking for money from them.

How do I bow out gracefully and not give to random people on the street but still be a meaningful contributor to society? I am not coldhearted, but I do not have a budget for charity, at least not yet. -- Drawing the Line, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: You are not alone in feeling conflicted about how to take care of yourself and support your fellow human. Take a moment and consider what form of public service you can do now. You can volunteer at a charity, a church, a shelter or some other organization that helps people who are in need. You can select a charity and give it a monthly financial donation or an annual donation. By the way, the amount does not have to be big. Give what you are comfortable contributing.

As far as people on the street who ask you for money, you do not have an obligation to give them anything. Simply treat them with respect. You can wish them a good day, smile and keep moving. Some may yell that what they really need is money, but more will likely welcome a kind glance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have gone out with a guy on two dates. He always looks nice when I see him. He seems nice enough, but there is a problem that I don’t know how to address. He wears very strong cologne and too much of it. Without even touching him, I end up smelling like him. His car reeks of the fragrance, and it’s overpowering. I think he puts on too much cologne out of nervousness, or maybe he doesn’t realize how strong the smell is. Whatever the reason, it’s intolerable. How can I tell him without making him feel self-conscious? -- Over the Top, Boston

DEAR OVER THE TOP: The best thing to do is just tell him. You can sweeten it by saying you appreciate that he is always so pulled together. Compliment him on how he looks and how he treats you. Then tell him there’s one thing that you need him to know: You have a sensitive nose and his cologne is too strong. Ask him if he would be willing to not wear any fragrance for a while. If he likes you enough, he will try to make you feel comfortable, even if that means not spraying himself anymore.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old daughter is very active on social media. Snapchat is her medium of choice. I’m on Facebook and Instagram but not Snapchat. I recently learned that she and her girlfriends have been posting photos of themselves asking if they are cute. My “source” told me some of the posts are mean about other people, and some are kind.

I am concerned my daughter is getting caught up in appearances as well as in how other people perceive her. How can I help her continue to cultivate positive self-esteem when she is already questioning her attractiveness in a social media space? -- Cultivating Self-Esteem, Los Angeles

DEAR CULTIVATING SELF-ESTEEM: The good news is that you have a source you can trust to help you figure out what your daughter is doing. As hard as you may try, you will likely not be able to stay on top of which media outlets attract your daughter’s and her friends’ attention.

I recommend that you not reveal your source. Instead, keep that person in place to monitor your daughter’s communications. With your daughter, work to keep a level of confidence in your relationship. If you can create a safe space where the two of you talk about life, friendships, boys -- everything -- you will have a better chance of influencing her decisions. FYI: Taking away her phone or banning her from social media would only be a temporary fix. Trust is a much stronger force in guiding your daughter’s steps.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sons have been captivated by video games since they were little. They are now in high school, but the fascination hasn’t waned. My oldest boy just used a gift card to buy a video game. I got notice it had arrived at the store. I will pick it up, but I don’t want to give it to him yet. Even though he bought it with his “own” money, he has not started off strong at school. I want to make sure he is focusing on his schoolwork. Giving him a new video game this soon into the semester does not seem like a good idea. How do I withhold it from him considering he “bought” it? -- School First, Games Second, Baltimore

DEAR SCHOOL FIRST, GAMES SECOND: Make parameters for when your sons can play video games that include their homework schedules. Before they push back, establish the rules and explain why you have made them: namely, that there are too many distractions out there for them to stay the course at school without supervision from you. Being able to play video games, including new ones, is contingent upon them completing their work.

It doesn’t matter who made the purchase; you remain the parent. Enforce your rules by stating them and explaining that when they are followed, your sons get incentives, such as the new game that’s waiting for them.