DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been about the same size since we got married, more than 20 years ago. I have gained quite a bit of weight. We have a scale that talks. I heard my husband weigh himself and, to my horror, I heard he weighs less than I do.

I know I have to do something to get my weight under control. I’m too embarrassed to talk to him about it. My husband has been so disciplined over the years with exercise and diet. I can’t bear getting a lecture from him. But I do need to take action to get my body together. What do you recommend? -- Overweight, Milwaukee

DEAR OVERWEIGHT: You don’t have to talk about your weight. Action is the most important step. Start by going to your doctor to get a physical. Learn whether you have any serious health concerns that need to be addressed. Ask if you should see a nutritionist. This health professional can help you to manage your diet, which is key to losing weight.

Start moving your body every single day. The easiest free thing you can do is walk. Get some good walking shoes or sneakers and start your day a little earlier so you can walk. Start off slowly, going as far as is comfortable. Build up to 10,000 steps, about 5 miles. Get a pedometer of some kind to track your movement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a very nice guy for about a year. He is super-ambitious and consistent. I know he likes me a lot, and the feeling is mutual. He is getting a master’s degree and working hard to improve his life. The problem is, he lost his apartment more than two years ago and now lives in a men’s shelter. I didn’t know that at first. It’s not that he hid it from me. But as you can imagine, he didn’t talk about it when we first met. I can tell he’s going places and getting his life together. I’m sure he won’t be there forever.

When I’ve told my friends about him, including his living conditions, they say I’m crazy and should run for the hills. They called him a loser who can never provide for me. I’m not looking for someone to “provide for me," though my guess is that he will be able to take care of both of us in due time. How do I manage my friends’ judgment? I don’t want to lose them or him. -- Being Judged, Harlem, New York

DEAR BEING JUDGED: If you feel like you want to be with this man, make that clear to him and to your friends. Encourage your boyfriend to continue on his journey of improving his life. Let your friends know you appreciate him for all he is, including how he is working to get out of his current living conditions. Ask them to stop judging him on where he lays his head or how much money is in his pocket. You believe in him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends just came on to me, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I love her, for sure. We have been close friends for more than 10 years. I feel so stupid because I didn’t even know she was gay. We have talked about my boyfriends over the years. I just broke up with a guy I dated for three years. She mostly skirts the issue when I ask her about dating. She talks about being busy with work and other things. I never pressed her. I was shocked when we hung out at my house and she tried to kiss me. I flinched, and the moment got way awkward.

We haven’t talked about it since, but I think we need to. I value her friendship. Even though I don’t want to have a romantic relationship with her, I still love her. And I don’t care if she’s gay. I just am not interested in her in that way. What can I say to her that won’t hurt her feelings? -- Fractured Friendship, Atlanta

DEAR FRACTURE FRIENDSHIP: Start by telling her exactly what you told me. Remind her how much you love her and how important your friendship is. Tell her you were startled when she tried to kiss you because you didn’t know she was gay or that she was interested in you. Apologize for hurting her feelings because you didn’t want to kiss her.

Reiterate that you want your friendship with her to remain strong and that you felt it was important to talk about this directly because you don’t want anything to stand in the way of your bond. Ask her to tell you how she’s feeling. Encourage her to talk about her life. She may need to expand the conversation you have been having to include her romantic life as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 11-year-old son fancies himself an artist. In his school they have made all kinds of projects, and over the summer we sent him to an art camp to support his interests. The thing is that the camp counselors gave us, his parents, a report similar to what we already thought: He has limited talent. He is eager to work on whatever he is told to do, but so far his work is uninspired, even pedestrian.

Should my husband and I continue to act as if our son has talent, or should we be honest? I fear that in this world of the internet and gazillions of talent shows, we aren’t doing him any favors pretending he’s the next Picasso when it’s doubtful that he could even sell his work on the street. -- Not an Artist, Philadelphia

DEAR NOT AN ARTIST: I would not discourage him. Let him see his teacher’s reports so he knows how he is being evaluated, but also let him explore his creativity. Today it’s art. Tomorrow it could easily be something else. If he shows interest in other areas, offer to send him to a class so he can learn more about whatever that might be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have family in Texas and have been begging them to come and stay with me. Already my Houston family has been displaced, but they want to stay in town to clean up and try to get their lives back. I understand they need to get their insurance activated and all, but they are living in a temporary shelter. I don’t see why they can’t work on the phone with the insurance company and governmental offices at least for the short term.

My cousins are not listening to the voice of reason, at least as far as I am concerned. How can I get them to reconsider? They have two young children. I don’t think a shelter is any place for them during this time. -- Rescue Mode, Cincinnati

DEAR RESCUE MODE: You cannot force your family to come to you even if you do think it’s a good idea. You might consider offering to take their children until they get their home back. It might be possible for you to get them into a local school temporarily. Offer to help them in that way.

If that option is not viable either, ask what you can do to support them. They may need money -- even if it’s a small amount. Make it clear that your interest is in supporting them in whatever ways you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time the U.S. Open happens, my parents start up again saying they want me to become a tennis player. I like the game a lot, but mainly I like to watch it. My dad played tennis in high school and college, and he wanted to go pro but never qualified. I think he wants to live vicariously through me.

The thing is that I like to play volleyball some, but more I’m into music. I play the clarinet, and I want to be able to see how far I can go with that. How can I convince my dad especially that I need to follow my dreams, not his? -- Music, Not Tennis, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR MUSIC, NOT TENNIS: It’s time to drum up the courage to speak directly to your father about your dreams. Point out that you know how passionate he is about tennis, because that was his dream as a young man. Make it clear your dreams are different. Sports in general is not at the top of your list, and definitely not tennis. Yes, you enjoy watching it, but you do not want to play it.

What you do want to play is the clarinet. Do some research on what you can do with the clarinet -- such as playing in an orchestra -- so you can tell your father how interested you really are in pursuing the instrument. Don’t overplay it, though. If you love the clarinet as a hobby, say that. If you want to consider going pro, let your dad know. Ask him to give you space to figure out what you want to do with your life.