DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who loves to take photos and videos with her phone. No matter where we are or what we are doing, we catch her posting and even streaming live. It’s crazy. Last week, my other friends and I caught her posting in the bathroom at a restaurant where we were eating. Don’t get me wrong. We all like to take pictures and post sometimes, but she has taken it to a different level. We want her to stop including us in these posts. What can we say or do to get her to give us some privacy? -- Out of Bounds, Denver

DEAR OUT OF BOUNDS: Tell your friend that if she posts any more pictures of you without your permission, you won’t invite her to hang out with you in the future. You have to make good on your threat. If she does stream or post and you spot yourself, tell her she violated your agreement and you don’t want to see her for a while. If you get the rest of your friends to reinforce the temporary friend ban, she may get the message.

In this day and age, when every moment can be captured and shared, you cannot control much. You should be able to come to an agreement on boundaries of privacy with your close friends. Otherwise, you have the right to exclude them from your inner circle.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage son promised to do his summer homework throughout the summer. Whenever my husband and I would ask how he was progressing, he said he was doing fine. Today I discovered he has so much more work to do, and school is about to start. Even if he works four hours a day, he probably won’t be finished in time, and now it will be cramming rather than pacing it all out.

I am so disappointed in him. We were clear about what he had to do in order to have certain privileges. Now, as parents, we look like idiots because we trusted him. What can we do now to get him on track? -- Wayward Son, Boston

DEAR WAYWARD SON: Children, especially teenagers, need to be monitored. Asking if a child has completed work is not enough. You need the child to show you proof. What you can do now and into the school year is to limit privileges until the work is done. For now, take away his phone and other electronics. Have him work nonstop on the assignments that are due so that he can complete them. Check over his work daily -- even if you don’t fully understand it. Make sure he did the work from beginning to end.

When school starts, be sure to continue to pay attention to his assignments and verify that he is doing the work daily. Be in touch with his teachers, and work together to help set a good work schedule that your son can follow. Let him use his cellphone only when he has proven to you he is taking his schoolwork seriously.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I see a man who lives in my building almost every morning when I go out for my morning walk. He is standing at the gate when I leave and standing right there when I return. I always greet him, which is fine. The other day it was a little weird. He told me he has noticed me doing my exercise and that I’m looking good. That was nice, but then he pointed at my belly and told me if I keep on walking, I will lose that too.

I didn’t ask for his comments and really thought he crossed the line. He does nothing all day but stand and watch. Never mind that he is grossly overweight. And he’s standing there watching and judging me. I didn’t like that. I didn’t say anything because I had no idea what to say. If he makes a comment like that again, what should I do? -- Crossing the Line, Bronx, New York

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: This man is living vicariously through you. As inappropriate and awkward as it may be for you to have to see him each day and endure his watchful eye and comments, it would be great if you could brush it off. For whatever reason, he is not moving his body, and you are. You are improving your health, and he is a bystander watching you transform yourself. Take it in stride. If he talks about your body again, either ignore him or tell him in a lighthearted tone that you would prefer it if he would keep the comments to himself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family reunion is coming up, and I don’t want to go. The past year has been a mess for me. My wife left me. I lost my job, and I’ve been temping for the past six months. I have no good news to contribute, and I don’t feel like answering a whole bunch of questions.

I know my family means well, but when you are in my position, the last thing you want to do is talk about your misery. Or at least that’s true for me. My mother is getting up in age, and she is set on having me pick her up and take her to the reunion. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to disappoint her, but I don’t want to have to talk to people, either. -- Keeping My Distance, Roanoke, Virginia

DEAR KEEPING MY DISTANCE: I want to remind you that most people like to talk about themselves, including your family members. You can likely go to the reunion, help your mother and divert most conversations back to the person talking. When asked how you are doing, you can say “OK,” and ask about them. Ask about their children, jobs and lives.

Most people get caught up in their own stories and don’t notice that you haven’t told your own. If you are asked where your wife is, just say she didn’t come. In time, you can let others know what’s going on with you, if you choose. What’s essential is that your mother must agree not to talk about your circumstances. Otherwise, it won’t work.

DEAR READERS: It is September 11 again. I will never forget that day 16 years ago, when time stopped and the world as we knew it changed. I live in Manhattan, and my office is in the Village, far enough away from Wall Street to be “safe” from the explosion and destruction of the Twin Towers, but close enough to see them burning and disintegrating as they fell. I remember seeing throngs of New Yorkers standing in the street on Sixth Avenue -- Avenue of the Americas -- looking downtown, incredulous at what was playing out before their eyes. I remember.

Americans live in a bubble in many ways. We had largely been immune to terrorist activity on our shores -- at least as far as we knew. We had a false belief that really bad things happen to other people in other places, but not here.

We have always had homegrown activity that has been disturbing, violent, mean-spirited and deadly. But somehow we have not connected to that in the same way that we rallied around 9/11. Because people came from the outside to do us harm, we paid attention differently.

For years people avoided the date of 9/11 when hosting special events. It was as if that date was reserved for mourning. It was not to be engaged for anything that required a memory. A friend of mine scheduled her wedding for that date, and I recall thinking how eerie of her to make that choice.

This year, 9/11 marks the first day of school for my daughter and thousands of other children in our country. It has become, in some ways, just another day. Of course, we continue to honor those whose lives were lost as we collectively sharpen our resolve to ward off terrorism. At the same time, the date itself has been released, a bit, to be used by others as they live their lives.

I have given this some thought, wondering what it all means for us as a nation, as a culture, as members of a global community, as parts of families, as individuals. On one hand, this date will remain symbolic of a serious wake-up call for Americans. We need to pay attention to the whole world, to better understand the concerns and grievances throughout, so we can support peace and understanding. Lofty, but necessary. It also means, from my perspective, that we must live our lives on a daily basis conscious of how our thoughts, words and deeds impact others. We have the opportunity to bring new meaning to even the darkest days.

Even 9/11 can be reimagined as a beginning. For my daughter, it’s the first day of school. For others of us, it can be the day that we choose to connect more meaningfully with our neighbors. With so much negativity clouding our world, we have a responsibility to bring the light of our best selves to each moment. When we do that, we create space for honest and attentive dialogue. We open the door for collaboration rather than destruction. We build on this great experiment in democracy that is our great nation. Join me in claiming this day as a chance to build on our greatness!