DEAR HARRIETTE: I was previously married, in my early 20s. My current husband and I have been married for more than 20 years. Because that previous life is from so long ago, I don’t think about it or talk about it at all. However, it came up recently because I ran into a college friend who knew my previous beau and me.

I have two children who were in earshot of the conversation that involved my ex. I have never told my children about my previous marriage. I wasn’t keeping it a secret; it’s just that it ended a lifetime ago, and we didn’t have children, so it’s over. Now that they may have heard something, I think I should tell them. How do I broach this subject? I feel like they will be sad to learn I was married to somebody before their dad. -- Before Dad, Arlington, Virginia

DEAR BEFORE DAD: By all means, tell your children about your previous marriage. You don’t have to give all the details, though. Choose what you want to share, which should include highlights of how you met, when you married and why you broke up. It is important for you to tell your children so they are empowered with the knowledge and are never left flat-footed if someone approaches them about your past.

In terms of managing their surprise and potential disappointment, be honest with them. You dated and married someone before marrying your husband. Sadly, it didn’t work out. Obviously, you value marriage and are saddened you had a failed marriage, but you are also enormously grateful you met and married your husband and created the beautiful family you have, which includes the two of them. Point out that you hope they will meet their perfect life partner and be able to build a life with that person forever, but acknowledge that things don’t always work out exactly as planned.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need to make some extra money, and I proposed to my husband and my neighbors that we have a yard sale. I figured if we did it together, we could draw more sales. Plus, it wouldn’t just be about me.

My husband thinks it’s a silly idea, even though he knows we are broke. My two closest neighbors loved the idea. We are planning a yard sale for two weeks from now, before the weather changes. I want my husband to be happier about it, though. How can I get him to be on my team? -- Sell it All, Towson, Maryland

DEAR SELL IT ALL: Get organized. The better prepared you are for the sale, the easier it will be for your husband to take note of how it’s working and help, if he chooses to do so.

Make written lists of the items you plan to sell. Invite his input for pricing. Inquire about any old items he may want to contribute. Don’t give him any big responsibilities on the day of the event, but be sure to invite him to be a part of it. Throughout the day, let him know how it’s going. If it is successful, he will likely become more interested and accepting of your creative idea.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to share a house this summer with an old friend I haven’t seen for years. She also invited several other old friends. We all convened on a lovely home our friend had found in a beach community. It was fun to get together and tell stories and hang out.

What wasn’t fun is that the main friend is a teetotaler. She doesn’t drink at all. I felt like she was always watching and even counting our drinks. We were on vacation, hanging out, and every night we had wine and sometimes cocktails. It was weird to have an adult seeming to supervise and kind of judge the rest of us after she had been the one to invite us to come in the first place. It was awkward at times.

At the end of the vacation, she suggested we all get together next year. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind meeting up with the others, but I have no desire to invite the judge and jury to come too. How can we ditch the organizer and get our party on? -- Party Over Here, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR PARTY OVER HERE: This is a tough one. Do you think you could have a talk with your teetotaler friend before kicking her to the curb? She may not realize how judgmental she was being. She may be willing to try to be more relaxed if she truly wants to spend time with the rest of you.

As a friend, you may want to tell her how you felt about your time together and express your reluctance about doing the vacation together again. Even if you do end up going your own way, it will not be without giving her the heads-up. There’s a very good chance your friend could discover that you and the others got together without her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister’s dog died this week. I know she is crushed. The dog had been sick for several years, and she did everything she could to take care of it. This included multiple surgeries and almost round-the-clock care. It was unbelievable to witness. She had to take out a loan in order to pay some of the medical bills.

I have children, so I know I would do anything for them. I see that my sister, who does not have children, treated her dog like it was her child. How do I console her now? -- Pet Heaven, Los Angeles

DEAR PET HEAVEN: Appeal to your sister’s love for her dog. Tell her how sorry you are for her loss. Ask if you can do anything to support her. Find out if she is planning a service for the dog -- a popular choice these days. Listen to learn what will comfort her. By checking in regularly, you provide the opening for healing conversation. Remember, she thinks of her dog as you think of your children. Keep that in mind, and it will be easy for you to have true compassion.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son graduated from college in May. He did well in school and had a few internships. He has been at home since graduation, actively looking for a job but has found nothing. My husband gave him six months to find a job or find a new place to live. I know our son has been working hard at it, but so far no luck.

I fear in a couple of months my husband will make good on his demand and throw my son out if he hasn’t yet found work. I don’t want to start a fight with my husband, but I think that we may need to give my son a bit more time. I keep reading about how tough it is for young people to find work. Several of his friends have found jobs, but more are just like him, searching. What can I say to my husband to get him to extend the clock on our son’s time at home? -- Tick Tock, Syracuse, New York

DEAR TICK TOCK: Encourage your son to speak to your husband. The best way for this to be handled is for your son to present his argument for why he would appreciate being able to stay at home until he gets on his feet. This should include your son being prepared to tell his father what interviews he has had and how they went, what he learned and what his strategy is for the coming weeks. He needs to be able to project how he will seek out work until he finds it.

This may involve looking in his field of interest and also looking for part-time work so he can have money to contribute to the family budget. When your son shows his maturity and commitment to being responsible, it should inspire your husband to want to extend his deadline.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a historic part of my city, in a building that was made famous because it was used in a couple of big feature films. Whenever people ask me where I live and I tell them, they want to come for a tour. I am a private person, and I do not want to do this.

I am not fancy. I live a simple life even though I live in a nice building. I don’t want my home or myself to be on display. When I decline to bring people on tours of my home, they often get indignant and say I’m being a snob. I resent that. Why should I have to open my home to people I don’t even know? -- Stay Out, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR STAY OUT: You do not have to invite anyone to your home. It really is that simple. What complicates your situation is you talk about where you live, and that draws attention and interest to the building and to you. Stop talking about it. Divert the conversation when your building comes up. When asked, just kindly say no. You have no obligation to invite strangers or others into your home.