DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to share a house this summer with an old friend I haven’t seen for years. She also invited several other old friends. We all convened on a lovely home our friend had found in a beach community. It was fun to get together and tell stories and hang out.

What wasn’t fun is that the main friend is a teetotaler. She doesn’t drink at all. I felt like she was always watching and even counting our drinks. We were on vacation, hanging out, and every night we had wine and sometimes cocktails. It was weird to have an adult seeming to supervise and kind of judge the rest of us after she had been the one to invite us to come in the first place. It was awkward at times.

At the end of the vacation, she suggested we all get together next year. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind meeting up with the others, but I have no desire to invite the judge and jury to come too. How can we ditch the organizer and get our party on? -- Party Over Here, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR PARTY OVER HERE: This is a tough one. Do you think you could have a talk with your teetotaler friend before kicking her to the curb? She may not realize how judgmental she was being. She may be willing to try to be more relaxed if she truly wants to spend time with the rest of you.

As a friend, you may want to tell her how you felt about your time together and express your reluctance about doing the vacation together again. Even if you do end up going your own way, it will not be without giving her the heads-up. There’s a very good chance your friend could discover that you and the others got together without her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister’s dog died this week. I know she is crushed. The dog had been sick for several years, and she did everything she could to take care of it. This included multiple surgeries and almost round-the-clock care. It was unbelievable to witness. She had to take out a loan in order to pay some of the medical bills.

I have children, so I know I would do anything for them. I see that my sister, who does not have children, treated her dog like it was her child. How do I console her now? -- Pet Heaven, Los Angeles

DEAR PET HEAVEN: Appeal to your sister’s love for her dog. Tell her how sorry you are for her loss. Ask if you can do anything to support her. Find out if she is planning a service for the dog -- a popular choice these days. Listen to learn what will comfort her. By checking in regularly, you provide the opening for healing conversation. Remember, she thinks of her dog as you think of your children. Keep that in mind, and it will be easy for you to have true compassion.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son graduated from college in May. He did well in school and had a few internships. He has been at home since graduation, actively looking for a job but has found nothing. My husband gave him six months to find a job or find a new place to live. I know our son has been working hard at it, but so far no luck.

I fear in a couple of months my husband will make good on his demand and throw my son out if he hasn’t yet found work. I don’t want to start a fight with my husband, but I think that we may need to give my son a bit more time. I keep reading about how tough it is for young people to find work. Several of his friends have found jobs, but more are just like him, searching. What can I say to my husband to get him to extend the clock on our son’s time at home? -- Tick Tock, Syracuse, New York

DEAR TICK TOCK: Encourage your son to speak to your husband. The best way for this to be handled is for your son to present his argument for why he would appreciate being able to stay at home until he gets on his feet. This should include your son being prepared to tell his father what interviews he has had and how they went, what he learned and what his strategy is for the coming weeks. He needs to be able to project how he will seek out work until he finds it.

This may involve looking in his field of interest and also looking for part-time work so he can have money to contribute to the family budget. When your son shows his maturity and commitment to being responsible, it should inspire your husband to want to extend his deadline.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a historic part of my city, in a building that was made famous because it was used in a couple of big feature films. Whenever people ask me where I live and I tell them, they want to come for a tour. I am a private person, and I do not want to do this.

I am not fancy. I live a simple life even though I live in a nice building. I don’t want my home or myself to be on display. When I decline to bring people on tours of my home, they often get indignant and say I’m being a snob. I resent that. Why should I have to open my home to people I don’t even know? -- Stay Out, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR STAY OUT: You do not have to invite anyone to your home. It really is that simple. What complicates your situation is you talk about where you live, and that draws attention and interest to the building and to you. Stop talking about it. Divert the conversation when your building comes up. When asked, just kindly say no. You have no obligation to invite strangers or others into your home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Somebody in my building is stealing my newspaper. Yes, I’m one of the few people who still like to get the paper delivered on the weekend. To be fair, I have been traveling a bit, so I haven’t been home on certain weekends. When I have returned, the paper has never been there.

But this weekend I was home. I got up early in the morning to go downstairs to get my paper -- because the paper is not delivered to my door, but to the lobby -- and it wasn’t there. Somebody is getting up early to steal my paper. I don’t want to give up on this one indulgence I have left, but I also don’t want to pay for something I don’t get. What can I do? -- Paper Hawker, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR PAPER HAWKER: Because your paper is delivered to a common area, it may be difficult for you to figure out who the thief is. You can ask other neighbors who subscribe to newspapers if they have had any interruptions in their delivery. Ask them also to keep an eye open for your paper, as it has been missing of late. Consider stopping delivery for a while. Perhaps whoever is stealing will lose interest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My twin sons are now 10 years old. I have every drawing and sculpture they have created since they were born. My house is overflowing with this stuff. Meanwhile, they are on to Legos and electronic toys.

I need to get rid of some of their old projects, but I feel guilty. They don’t seem to be attached to much of it, but I think about when they get older. I bet I will want to pull out some of these projects to show them. I can’t figure out what to do. What do you recommend? -- Memorabilia, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR MEMORABILIA: Make technology your new best friend! Take digital photos of your children’s artifacts and store them in a folder that is appropriately titled. When something is very special, invite your boys to tell you a story about the item. Videotape the story as they show the item, and store that away.

For artwork or sculpture that seems particularly impressive, keep those precious items and make them display pieces for your home. Or you can even pack those away in a specially marked box to pull out and “embarrass” your sons when they are adults.

Because you can create a digital record of their journey as children, you will not be throwing away the memories, but instead keepsaking them in a way that is manageable for your physical environment and respectful to the journey you have taken together. It’s a win-win!