DEAR HARRIETTE: My colleague invited my husband and me to spend the weekend with her and her family at her country home. She extended the invitation about a month ago, and we were supposed to go this upcoming weekend. I convinced my husband to go with me. He is a homebody, so his preference is always to stay close to home, but he agreed because he really likes my friend.

My friend called me two days ago to say that we can’t come anymore. Some family members had just called to say that they are traveling and will be dropping in to visit with her at the exact time that we were going to be there. I am so disappointed but also angry. We set this plan in place weeks ago. I feel like she should have told her family to come at a different time. She sees them regularly, so it’s not like she couldn’t honor her commitment. Now my husband might never agree to go on a trip like this again. What can I do or say to my colleague? -- Uninvited, Cincinnati

DEAR UNINVITED: I suspect it’s too late for you to get your colleague to reverse her decision again. If it will make you feel better, you may want to let her know how disappointed you are, especially because your husband rarely agrees to venture beyond the homestead. But leave it there. Your friend was caught in an uncomfortable position. You don’t want to make it more challenging for her, especially because it won’t change anything.

Make a focused effort to design a special weekend for your husband and you that includes time at home and also some activity that is outside of your home. Think of something that he would enjoy that might inspire him to want to venture out more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a woman at a luncheon, and she was lovely. We had a nice time talking, and it seemed like she could become a friend. I lost my husband about a year ago, and I have hardly gone out at all, so it was unusual and special to meet someone who seemed compatible with me as a friend. We exchanged numbers, and I called her a couple of days later, but she seemed so different. She didn’t seem to want to talk at all. When I suggested that we schedule a time to have tea or something, she brushed it off. At least that’s how it seemed. Perhaps she was busy that day and didn’t realize she was being abrupt. She still works, while I retired several years ago. Do you think I should give her a second chance and call again in a week or so to see if I get a friendlier response? -- Need a Friend, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR NEED A FRIEND: It is good to give this woman the benefit of the doubt. Consider that you may have caught her on a bad day. Give her some space and call again in a couple of weeks to check in. Be casual when you call. Tell her you were thinking about her and wanted to invite her to get together. It would be great if you have a specific activity in mind that she can react to. If she continues to sound distant and uninterested, stop there. She obviously isn’t interested or ready to welcome you as a new friend. If she sounds genuinely interested, even if she cannot join you, don’t give up on her yet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter had a sleepover with her friend, and when I called to check in on her, they were headed out to Coney Island. I am out of town, and I was shocked. I asked if she had gotten permission from my husband, and she said she had permission to go “out.” I explained that “out” is different from traveling nearly an hour to a giant amusement park. She said she understood why I was unhappy.

I allowed her to go, since she was on the train on her way, but I’m wondering what kind of punishment she should be given to reinforce that she must ask before taking significant excursions. I know that this friend has an older sister and generally has more flexibility than I feel comfortable allowing my daughter. -- Reinforcing Boundaries, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR REINFORCING BOUNDARIES: The most immediate thing you could have done would have been to tell your daughter to go back home and not go to Coney Island, since she didn’t get permission in advance. That would have startled her into grasping that she had crossed a line without your blessing. Since you did not do that, you can talk to your daughter and explain to her why you were concerned. Be specific: When she spoke to your husband she was vague, which is a type of dishonesty. It is imperative that you know where she is when she is out and about without adult supervision. Finally, if she cannot follow your guidelines, she cannot hang out with this friend unsupervised anymore.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew invites me to all of his sporting events. In a way, this is sweet. We love each other and are close. What gets me is that his dad rarely, if ever, shows up for any of these events. When I am unable to attend, my nephew gets upset with me and works to make me feel guilty. I feel like if his dad were more involved, the pressure would be less intense for me. What can I do to get his dad to step up and my nephew to cut me a break? -- Stretched, Dallas

DEAR STRETCHED: It is unlikely that you can influence your nephew’s dad if he isn’t taking responsibility for his son already. If you do have a relationship with him, however, you can make an effort. You can contact him and meet, preferably in person. Tell him how excited your nephew is about his athletics and how much he wants to have his family there to cheer him on. Add that your nephew has been pressuring you to show up every time, but you believe it would mean more to him for his dad to be there.

As far as your nephew goes, manage his expectations by reminding him how much you love him and telling him clearly that you cannot come to every game. Let him know in advance what you can attend. Remind him along the way so that he knows you are connected.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter walks around with her cellphone attached to her ear like it is an appendage. I feel like everything she does takes twice the time it should because she is constantly talking to her best friend while she’s fulfilling a task. I like and appreciate that she has a friend who seems to be nice, but she is taking this too far. How can I regulate her telephone time without becoming the mean mom? I want to teach my daughter good habits. -- Too Much Phone Time, Milwaukee

DEAR TOO MUCH PHONE TIME: Make it clear to your daughter that she cannot be on the phone when she is completing her chores. That could be managed by you having a phone basket. She can be required to put her phone in the basket until chores are checked off and reviewed by you. Having a method that allows her a bit of independence -- the basket rather than giving the phone to you -- gives space for her to become responsible without feeling overly pressured. If this does not work, she could lose phone privileges. Talk to your daughter about timing and duty. Encourage her to fulfill her duties before engaging in fun.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is obsessed with cable political news. Every time I walk into my living room, bedroom or any other room where there’s a TV, my husband is glued to it. It’s almost like watching sports for him. The TV is loud, and he’s invariably screaming at it. I can’t take it anymore. Every day there’s some new horror story about how our government or some other one is mishandling its affairs. I don’t want to bury my head in the sand, but I need a safe space where we are not bombarded by the theater of the absurd that has become daily life. What can I do? -- Politically Drowning, Seattle

DEAR POLITICALLY DROWNING: Watching what’s happening in the world isn’t making it any better. You should talk to your husband about activism. Suggest that he take one more step and put his concerns and fears into action. Perhaps he can volunteer for a civil rights organization or get involved in some other way.

At home, ask your husband to agree to some downtime when the TV is off or at least when it’s not on a news channel. Plead with him for balance in your home. If he is unwilling to comply, work to have him agree to watch one TV that is out of earshot. Ask him to agree to turn the volume down, and absolutely put your foot down about watching the news in your bedroom. Be clear that you, too, are concerned about your world, but you are unwilling to give all your time and brain space over to a rehashing of what’s happening each day on the national and global stage.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)