DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was growing up, my parents were involved in marches and other forms of activism on behalf of the civil rights movement. I remember people constantly being in our home, sharing stories of what was going on in the world and what we had to do about it.

I have not been as vocal with my children about what’s been going on in our world, but now things are getting out of hand. Rather than being folklore, the KKK is back. With the recent unrest and death in Charlottesville, Virginia, at the hands of white supremacists, I have no choice but to talk to my children about everything. We live in the suburbs, and they go to school with many white children.

How do I help my children understand that their friends are different from the people who are espousing hate? And what do I tell them if one of their friends calls them the N-word, because it has already happened? -- Stopped in Time, Arlington, Virginia

DEAR STOPPED IN TIME: I assume that you are seeing now that there remains a need for this generation’s version of a civil rights movement. Over the past few months, there has been a groundswell of hatred brewing, and it seems to be targeted at anyone who is OTHER. Some people have become emboldened to believe that they can say and do anything they want, including being blatantly disrespectful to their peers. That would explain the friends who are demeaning your children. You must tell them that it is not OK for their “friends” to speak to them in that way. Indeed, such behavior should lead to an analysis of whether those people really are friends. Some teens bat epithets back and forth. If your children are participating, encourage them to stop.

As far as the rise of white supremacist activity, you should be worried, and you should take action -- which you should share with your children. Learn more about how you can have a voice, including writing to your members of Congress and to the president. Get involved so that you ensure that this behavior is not condoned in any way. The scab has been pulled off the wound. It is past time for real healing to occur.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year at the end of the summer, I require my children to become active with some form of study so they can acclimate back to school. This year, my children are rebelling. I go to work, and when I come home they haven’t completed the work I have given them -- from their teachers. How can I get them to take these responsibilities seriously? -- Study Boycott, Ellicott City, Maryland

DEAR STUDY BOYCOTT: Have a family meeting and remind your children of their duties. Point out that they have not been honoring the agreements that they made with you. Give them a punishment, such as taking away their phones for a day. If the work isn’t completed when they get home, you keep the phones the next day, too. You should pick something to withhold that will be hard for them to live without. This can include hanging out with friends, sleepovers, shopping trips, TV, etc. Be sure to explain why you are asking them to do this work so they don’t think of the homework as a punishment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has become involved in the student government at his school. As political topics have come up on campus, conversations have gotten heated, and my son has taken a stand. I am proud of him, but I’m also concerned. He is up for a scholarship for college, and I worry that if he becomes too politically vocal, he could lose this important money that can help him go to college. Should I encourage him to tone down his comments so that he can look ahead to the future? -- On the Line, Atlanta

DEAR ON THE LINE: You should encourage your son to be himself and to stand up for what he believes to be true and fair. Since he has felt the urge to be a leader in his school, allow him to be just that. We need more people who are willing to stand up for others. Can that lose him a scholarship? I would say it could lose him a scholarship to a school that isn’t a match for him.

Look more broadly at colleges and universities. Search for those that welcome his brand of social awareness and outspokenness. Rather than attempting to suppress his growing voice, help him find the right center of higher education to further cultivate his mind.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was out having lunch with my family at an outdoor cafe when a guy I dated once more than 20 years ago rode his bike up and said hello. We chatted for a moment and my family said hello, but I didn’t even remember his name so I didn’t introduce him. Before he left, he told my husband that he had almost become my husband. What a joke! To my recollection, I went out with him once and maybe talked on the phone with him a few times. How he fixed it in his mind that we were about to walk down the aisle is a mystery to me. It did rattle my husband a little, especially since I had never mentioned this guy before. How can I make my husband know this is nothing, and what should I do if I ever run into this guy again? -- Confused, Dallas

DEAR CONFUSED: For your husband, be upfront about this guy. You barely remember him. You did not recall his name. You remember going out with him only once. You are surprised that he is so fixated on you. Be open and honest. Tell him you can’t think of any reason why this guy would be under the impression that you and he were even a couple, let alone getting married.

For the guy, if you ever encounter him again, ask him why he thinks you were going to get married. Listen to what he says. Respond to him honestly -- namely what you do and do not remember. Conclude by letting him know that you are sorry if there was ever any confusion, but you never intended to marry him, you are happily married and you would appreciate it if he would back off.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is an artist. He has worked on many projects, and over the years he has started capital campaigns to get his friends and others to help fund his ideas. I like the fact that he is trying every way he can to pay for his ideas, but I find it uncomfortable to keep getting these pitches from him. I know him. We went to college together. I like him a lot, but I do not have the resources to continue to help fund his projects. I feel guilty for not wanting or being able to give him money when I receive requests from him in very personal ways -- like via text or direct message on social media. How can I handle this? Should I say something to him? -- Pitch Fatigue, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR PITCH FATIGUE: The only reason to say something to your friend directly would be if you want to educate him on his strategy. You could tell him that his requests make you feel uneasy, because you like him but do not like the pressure from him of contributing to his work.

You could also simply not respond. Typically, the response rate for direct mail pitches of any kind is low. People who do broad pitches, even when they reach you personally, do not expect every single person to respond and donate. You can ignore the pitches until and unless something he is doing appeals to you. If you see him at some point, you can congratulate him on his new project and wish him well. If he asks whether you will be able to help him out, say, “not this time.”

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going out with a nice guy for a few months now. We have had a great time and seem to have similar interests. He is very thoughtful and attentive. I took him to a picnic with some of my longtime friends last weekend because I felt like it was time for them to meet him. I waited for a while because I have brought other guys in the past, but then the relationship didn’t last. This one feels like a keeper.

At the picnic, one of my friends met my boyfriend but was acting kind of strange. I followed up with her the next day, and she told me that she used to date my boyfriend a few years ago, and she was surprised to see him there. She quickly told me he didn’t do anything wrong in their relationship. Actually, she dumped him for another guy. She felt awkward around him. What do I do now? I don’t want to lose my friend or my boyfriend. -- Awkward, Philadelphia

DEAR AWKWARD: Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him you noticed that your friend acted strange when they met and what she told you later. Ask him for his take, including whether he feels OK about being around her from time to time. Some people get over exes easily, even when there was a rocky ending. Work it out with your boyfriend, and incorporate him into group activities accordingly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)