DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been exercising regularly since May. I have lost almost a whole dress size, and I am proud of myself. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m sticking to it.

Yesterday, I got a big blow to my ego. A friend forwarded a picture to me asking if I was one of two people in the photo. It was a profile shot, so you couldn’t immediately recognize my face, but yes, it was me. All I could see was how HUGE I looked in that shot. It’s from about three years ago, but still. Honestly, I had no idea I was that big. I was so embarrassed to see this photo that I didn’t want to admit it was me. I had to confess, only for my friend to say how beautiful she thought I looked. What?! I think she was just trying to be nice. Now that I have awakened to the reality of my body, how can I deal with how poorly I have taken care of myself in the past and how far I have to go to get to my goal? -- Blimped Out, Syracuse, New York

DEAR BLIMPED OUT: Give yourself credit for where you are today, and love the woman you were before. Your friend probably did see your beauty in the shot, regardless of how many extra pounds you were carrying. Better yet, she chose to celebrate your beauty when she sent you the image. Welcome that celebration and use it as motivation to keep working on yourself. Give yourself specific fitness goals that are manageable and within reach. Consult your doctor for guidance on what is healthy for your body. You may also want to see a nutritionist.

Most of all, be kind to yourself. You are doing the work. Stay focused. Love yourself as you are, and forgive yourself for whatever you did or didn’t do in the past. Be in the present, conscious of how you want to care for yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a brother who always was the one with extra money. He has had great jobs in the past and has been consistent in earning money since he graduated from college. A few years ago, though, he lost his job and has had a tough time finding another one, at least one that pays well. I talked to him the other day, and he told me that he may lose his house if he cannot get a better job. I was shocked. He is the one we used to always “borrow” money from. Now that he could use some support, I have nothing to offer him. I feel horrible. Not that he asked, but he has bailed me out of a few financial droughts in the past, and I wish I could help him now. I bet part of him feels bad for being the one to help everybody, and now nobody can help him. What can I do to be a support for my brother? -- Broke, Nashville, Tennessee

DEAR BROKE: Reach out to your brother and tell him that you know he is going through a tough time right now and that your heart goes out to him. Admit that you feel terrible that you don’t have money to share with him, as he has done for you over the years. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help him out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 85-year-old mother has a suitor! She recently moved into a retirement community, and there’s a gentleman there who has taken a fancy to her. She sounds all bubbly on the phone when she talks about him. I am happy for her, but I feel like the mother of a teenager.

I don’t want this man to take advantage of my mother. She hasn’t had a partner for decades. My dad died years ago and she dated many years back, but I worry. What if he hurts her feelings? What if he also is “courting” someone else in the community? Am I crazy to be so overprotective of her? How can I support my mother? -- Senior Dating, Miami

DEAR SENIOR DATING: Relax. Let your mother enjoy this moment of flirtation and attention. What’s amazing to me is that people can continue to enjoy the excitement of romance -- on a variety of levels -- even when they are older. Yes, the body slows down and cannot always do what it could when you were young, but the mind and spirit often still want to dance!

Encourage your mother to enjoy herself. If she is inclined to any type of sexual activity, be the mother of the teenage senior, and remind her to use protection. Believe it or not, senior citizens have high rates of sexually transmitted infections, so she does have to be careful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends have invited me to a pool party for the end of the summer, and I am thinking about not going. I cannot swim, and I haven’t put on a bathing suit since I was in my 20s. I am now in my 50s, and let me tell you, this body does not need to be showcased poolside! I already know that we are all aging and we shouldn’t be so self-conscious. Blah, blah, blah! I don’t care what others say. Nobody needs to see what I’ve got under all my clothes. How can I hang out with my friends without having to get nearly naked? I don’t want to miss out, but I won’t be comfortable if I have to squeeze into a swimsuit. -- Menopausal Sausage, Chicago

DEAR MENOPAUSAL SAUSAGE: Give yourself a break! Chances are, your friends, at least some of them, are not ready to walk the runway at a Miss America contest. No matter what you look like, you deserve to enjoy being in your friends’ company and having a great time as the summer ends. Do what most women do. Buy a fancy coverup that you can wear over your swimsuit. Or forget the swimsuit and wear lightweight clothing -- a loose-fitting sundress, a T-shirt and shorts or a skirt and flip flops. You can sit poolside, sip drinks, eat and have fun with your friends. Trust that not everybody is getting in the pool. Let the pool be the backdrop for your fun.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter just got home from camp, where she had a great time. I did learn something disturbing, though: One of the girls was caught cutting herself in the bathroom and had to be sent home. It turns out that several of the girls have tried cutting their wrists bit by bit over time. I was shocked.

I don’t think that this behavior occurs at my daughter’s school. When I asked her if she has seen other girls doing this before, at camp or at school, my daughter said no. I’m worried about sending my daughter back to this camp, even though she has gone there since she was little. I’m afraid of what she is being exposed to. How can I protect my daughter when kids around her are doing stuff like this? -- Protecting My Teen, Salem, Massachusetts

DEAR PROTECTING MY TEEN: It’s great that your daughter is talking to you about what happened at camp. You want to keep the conversation going so that she feels she can tell you everything. Listen intently, but without too many questions; teens hate when parents start with the grand inquisition. Ask her if she has ever considered hurting herself. Pay attention to how she responds, including her verbal and non-verbal cues. If you think she may be interested in such behavior, a psychologist is in order. If not, just keep listening.

As far as camp goes, contact the camp leader and have a conversation about the incidence of cutting at the camp and how it handled this. Ask about any other psychological challenges that campers have faced. Press for answers. Let the camp leader know that your daughter wants to keep attending, but you are concerned about her safety. You will have to decide before next summer if you think this environment is safe enough for her to return.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend who lives in my building has a small dog. My son enjoys playing with the dog when we see each other in the courtyard or on the street. I am allergic to dogs, so I do not touch the dog or engage it in any way. My friend is going on a business trip, and he asked me if we could keep his dog while he is gone for a week. I cannot do that. My allergies are real. I cannot risk bringing a dog into my home, plus it’s a huge responsibility to walk a dog, feed a dog, take care of a dog -- especially when it’s something that we aren't used to. My son overheard the request and is eager to get me to say yes. I cannot. How can I let them both down easily? -- Dog-Free Zone, Queens, New York

DEAR DOG-FREE ZONE: Remind your friend of your allergies, and apologize but tell him you cannot take his dog. Do the same with your son. You may need to explain more graphically what happens to you when you have an allergic reaction to a dog so that he can have compassion for why you must say no.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)