DEAR HARRIETTE: My 85-year-old mother has a suitor! She recently moved into a retirement community, and there’s a gentleman there who has taken a fancy to her. She sounds all bubbly on the phone when she talks about him. I am happy for her, but I feel like the mother of a teenager.

I don’t want this man to take advantage of my mother. She hasn’t had a partner for decades. My dad died years ago and she dated many years back, but I worry. What if he hurts her feelings? What if he also is “courting” someone else in the community? Am I crazy to be so overprotective of her? How can I support my mother? -- Senior Dating, Miami

DEAR SENIOR DATING: Relax. Let your mother enjoy this moment of flirtation and attention. What’s amazing to me is that people can continue to enjoy the excitement of romance -- on a variety of levels -- even when they are older. Yes, the body slows down and cannot always do what it could when you were young, but the mind and spirit often still want to dance!

Encourage your mother to enjoy herself. If she is inclined to any type of sexual activity, be the mother of the teenage senior, and remind her to use protection. Believe it or not, senior citizens have high rates of sexually transmitted infections, so she does have to be careful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends have invited me to a pool party for the end of the summer, and I am thinking about not going. I cannot swim, and I haven’t put on a bathing suit since I was in my 20s. I am now in my 50s, and let me tell you, this body does not need to be showcased poolside! I already know that we are all aging and we shouldn’t be so self-conscious. Blah, blah, blah! I don’t care what others say. Nobody needs to see what I’ve got under all my clothes. How can I hang out with my friends without having to get nearly naked? I don’t want to miss out, but I won’t be comfortable if I have to squeeze into a swimsuit. -- Menopausal Sausage, Chicago

DEAR MENOPAUSAL SAUSAGE: Give yourself a break! Chances are, your friends, at least some of them, are not ready to walk the runway at a Miss America contest. No matter what you look like, you deserve to enjoy being in your friends’ company and having a great time as the summer ends. Do what most women do. Buy a fancy coverup that you can wear over your swimsuit. Or forget the swimsuit and wear lightweight clothing -- a loose-fitting sundress, a T-shirt and shorts or a skirt and flip flops. You can sit poolside, sip drinks, eat and have fun with your friends. Trust that not everybody is getting in the pool. Let the pool be the backdrop for your fun.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter just got home from camp, where she had a great time. I did learn something disturbing, though: One of the girls was caught cutting herself in the bathroom and had to be sent home. It turns out that several of the girls have tried cutting their wrists bit by bit over time. I was shocked.

I don’t think that this behavior occurs at my daughter’s school. When I asked her if she has seen other girls doing this before, at camp or at school, my daughter said no. I’m worried about sending my daughter back to this camp, even though she has gone there since she was little. I’m afraid of what she is being exposed to. How can I protect my daughter when kids around her are doing stuff like this? -- Protecting My Teen, Salem, Massachusetts

DEAR PROTECTING MY TEEN: It’s great that your daughter is talking to you about what happened at camp. You want to keep the conversation going so that she feels she can tell you everything. Listen intently, but without too many questions; teens hate when parents start with the grand inquisition. Ask her if she has ever considered hurting herself. Pay attention to how she responds, including her verbal and non-verbal cues. If you think she may be interested in such behavior, a psychologist is in order. If not, just keep listening.

As far as camp goes, contact the camp leader and have a conversation about the incidence of cutting at the camp and how it handled this. Ask about any other psychological challenges that campers have faced. Press for answers. Let the camp leader know that your daughter wants to keep attending, but you are concerned about her safety. You will have to decide before next summer if you think this environment is safe enough for her to return.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend who lives in my building has a small dog. My son enjoys playing with the dog when we see each other in the courtyard or on the street. I am allergic to dogs, so I do not touch the dog or engage it in any way. My friend is going on a business trip, and he asked me if we could keep his dog while he is gone for a week. I cannot do that. My allergies are real. I cannot risk bringing a dog into my home, plus it’s a huge responsibility to walk a dog, feed a dog, take care of a dog -- especially when it’s something that we aren't used to. My son overheard the request and is eager to get me to say yes. I cannot. How can I let them both down easily? -- Dog-Free Zone, Queens, New York

DEAR DOG-FREE ZONE: Remind your friend of your allergies, and apologize but tell him you cannot take his dog. Do the same with your son. You may need to explain more graphically what happens to you when you have an allergic reaction to a dog so that he can have compassion for why you must say no.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I’m always fighting with my main client about every little thing. She does the nickel-and-dime dance. Whatever we are working on, she tries to get me (and her other contractors) to pitch in about 30 percent of the work for free. She does this by asking for favors and then throwing in that she wants us to volunteer for whatever those favors are. Whenever I have pushed back, she gets her back up and says things that make me feel like I’m being selfish by wanting to be paid for my services. This has been going on for a few years -- the entire time she has been my client. I bet you are going to say I should walk away, but it isn’t that easy. I need the work, and I like the project. I just don’t appreciate the way that my client constantly tries to manipulate me. How can I tamp that down? -- Enough Already, Atlanta

DEAR ENOUGH ALREADY: If you plan to keep this client, there is a certain amount of acquiescence that you will have to continue to offer. This is how she works. You can, however, get crystal clear about each assignment, its parameters and the compensation being offered. After getting clarity on that, if your client adds other tasks onto the work, inform her what you will bill for those extra services before you execute them. This will likely ruffle some feathers, but it is the only way you will have any power in this negotiation. Stay positive when dealing with your client. Don’t fall to her ways of engaging. Stick to your professional demeanor.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A colleague of mine told me about a water aerobics class that she has been taking that she says is awesome. I have recently started exercising and think this could be good for me, especially since it’s in the water, which means low impact. I have been experiencing some discomfort in my knees recently because I’ve been doing a lot of walking to lose weight.

My problem is vanity. I hate to admit it, but I don’t want to go to a swim class and put on a bathing suit in front of anyone, let alone a colleague. I feel like I’m completely out of shape and ugly when I have on a swimsuit. How can I get over this and get my butt in the water? -- Too Shy, Boston

DEAR TOO SHY: Trust your colleague. People who go to these classes choose to do so to get healthy. Yes, it may take a bit of courage to be so bare at first, but you can do it. Start by wearing your bathing suit to the pool so you don’t have to change in front of anyone. Bring a towel that you wrap around your hips until you slip into the water. Chances are, once you start class, you will notice that people are paying attention to the teacher rather than sizing each other up. You can do it. If you commit to it, the bonus is that you will start liking your body better!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)