DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage son just came home from camp, and all he does is sleep. He has been home for a few days now, and literally I cannot get him out of bed until after 12. I know he had a rigorous schedule at camp, but I feel like I am missing out on enjoying time with my boy before school starts up again. Should I be worried? What can I do to entice him to get up? I don’t want to resort to punishment, which is my girlfriend’s strategy. I do want him to get up before midday. -- Wake Up, Cleveland

DEAR WAKE UP: Give your son a week to acclimate to life at home. He is probably grateful to be able to sleep in for a few days. At most camps, children are up and out of their cabins by 7 or 8 a.m. and are “on” all day and into the evening. His body could be in real need of simple rest.

After a week, you can let him know that it is time to get back into a regular routine. Make it clear that you expect him to get up earlier each day. This will ease him back into a school schedule and also give the two of you time to reconnect. Be aware, though, that as a teenager, he will probably wake up wanting to spend more time engaging with his friends than with you. That is normal. Establish a balance by appealing to his heart. Make it clear to him that you miss him and want to spend some time with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has been invited to so many bar and bat mitzvahs that it’s hard to count. I like that her friends want to include her in everything, but it is pretty expensive to go to all of these events. This is not because there is a charge. It’s all the other stuff, starting with new clothes for multiple events. And while there is no expected amount to be given for a gift, it is considered culturally and spiritually appropriate to give money in increments of $18. How can I get my daughter to all of these parties in comfort without going broke? -- Being 13, Westchester, New York

DEAR BEING 13: Your job is to plan it all out. Decide how many dresses you can and will pay for, and let your daughter know she will have to rotate them through the party cycle. Assure her that she will not be the only one wearing a dress more than once. As far as gifts go, do the same. Figure out how many of these events your daughter is likely to attend, to whom she is the closest and what you can afford to give. If you want to stick with the increments of $18, it’s OK to give $18. For those who are close friends, give more if you can. Make sure your daughter writes a lovely card for each mitzvah. Be sure to donate to the charity of a child’s choice if they defer you to a charity rather than a personal gift.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who has very little regard for the people she works with. She says that she wants all hands on deck to help her with whatever big project she is working on, but then she doesn’t set herself or the project up for success. Most recently, she sent an email for a mandatory meeting at 11 a.m. on Sunday -- church time. And the request (or demand) was sent at 11 p.m. the night before. I was headed out when I noticed the invitation, so I canceled my plans and stayed in, which made me resentful of her and unhappy not to be able to go to church. When we got on the call, she didn’t even bother to acknowledge that she had inconvenienced us, because she doesn’t care.

I need this gig, which, by the way, is freelance, so I don’t even get paid for these extra meetings. How can I have a better attitude while working with this woman? -- Undone, Cincinnati

DEAR UNDONE: What’s good about your question is that you aren’t asking how to change your client, as that is not possible. Changing your attitude -- and sometimes your actions -- is wise for your own well-being and mental and spiritual health. You could have apologized profusely and said that you could not attend the Sunday meeting because you would be in church. That could be followed up by an email or call asking for the notes so you could stay updated. You can take care of yourself by putting yourself first, remembering the value of the project for your own well-being and choosing to stay positive no matter what your client requests -- even when you have to say no.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been volunteering for a company for two years in order to gain experience. The company is small, and it focuses on exactly the type of work I want to do. My problem is that I realize that other people have come in as unpaid interns and have been hired in paying roles. Nobody in the company has ever told me, not even once, that there were any openings available. I have donated my time for these months in hopes that one day they might consider me for a position. Now I feel like a dunce for not pushing for it all along. What can I do to change my employment status? -- Losing Step, New Orleans

DEAR LOSING STEP: You have taken your future for granted, in the sense that you expected someone else to push you along. That’s not how it works. You must show initiative. Start by revising your resume. Include on it the skills and responsibilities that you have gained in your role at this company. Name the role based on what you do, rather than calling it “volunteer” or “intern.” Next, go to your supervisor and pitch yourself for a paid role at the company. Point out all that you have learned and are applying to the job. Don’t stop there. Look more broadly in your field, and send your resume to competitors. You may just be ready to be hired somewhere else.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter, and my good friend has a teenage son. She has very different ideas about teens and dating than me. I think that it is natural for teenagers to be attracted to each other. Sometimes that turns into crushes and even dating. When monitored, teenagers going out and getting to know each other, going to events and spending time together seems normal to me. My friend says teens should not be allowed to date until they are over 16. She thinks it is distracting and dangerous.

While I am not naive, I do not think it is practical or wise to try to prevent young people who like each other from being around each other. I do think it is a parent’s responsibility to teach teenagers what they deem to be appropriate behavior. Do they always follow directions? No. But I believe that not allowing them to spend time together could be worse. How do I address this with my friend when we do not share ideals at all? -- At Odds, Dallas

DEAR AT ODDS: You do not have to come to an agreement with your friend over your parenting styles. It can be enlightening to learn about how other parents set boundaries and teach their children about the twists and turns of growing up, including the birds and the bees. Ultimately, though, you must decide what to teach your daughter and how to guide her steps. You can take comfort in being resolute in your approach. If and when you run into challenges, review them based on your values, not someone else’s.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Most of my son’s friends plan on going to private high school. Currently, we all are in a private, or so-called "independent," school together. My husband and I have thought about it long and hard, and we just can’t afford the paid route anymore. We are experiencing tuition fatigue and need to figure out a way to save some money so we can send our son to college when the time comes. He is very disappointed that we are considering public schools only, even though there are some great choices in our city.

How can we get our son to understand that this decision is based on the bigger picture? We want to be able to enjoy family time together, take vacations and not go broke. We can’t have that quality of life and keep paying high tuition. -- Gaining Perspective, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR GAINING PERSPECTIVE: Talking to your son about lifestyle choices can be helpful. First, you can show him the great options in high-quality public high schools. Second, you can explain what you can do as a family with some extra available cash. You also need to talk to him about being clear that every family is different. What one family can afford and chooses to do is quite different from the next. Your measuring stick should be in your own home rather than comparing yourself to your friends. This is hard to accept, but it is a necessary part of life. Show him your vision, and then help to make it manifest.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)