DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who has very little regard for the people she works with. She says that she wants all hands on deck to help her with whatever big project she is working on, but then she doesn’t set herself or the project up for success. Most recently, she sent an email for a mandatory meeting at 11 a.m. on Sunday -- church time. And the request (or demand) was sent at 11 p.m. the night before. I was headed out when I noticed the invitation, so I canceled my plans and stayed in, which made me resentful of her and unhappy not to be able to go to church. When we got on the call, she didn’t even bother to acknowledge that she had inconvenienced us, because she doesn’t care.

I need this gig, which, by the way, is freelance, so I don’t even get paid for these extra meetings. How can I have a better attitude while working with this woman? -- Undone, Cincinnati

DEAR UNDONE: What’s good about your question is that you aren’t asking how to change your client, as that is not possible. Changing your attitude -- and sometimes your actions -- is wise for your own well-being and mental and spiritual health. You could have apologized profusely and said that you could not attend the Sunday meeting because you would be in church. That could be followed up by an email or call asking for the notes so you could stay updated. You can take care of yourself by putting yourself first, remembering the value of the project for your own well-being and choosing to stay positive no matter what your client requests -- even when you have to say no.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been volunteering for a company for two years in order to gain experience. The company is small, and it focuses on exactly the type of work I want to do. My problem is that I realize that other people have come in as unpaid interns and have been hired in paying roles. Nobody in the company has ever told me, not even once, that there were any openings available. I have donated my time for these months in hopes that one day they might consider me for a position. Now I feel like a dunce for not pushing for it all along. What can I do to change my employment status? -- Losing Step, New Orleans

DEAR LOSING STEP: You have taken your future for granted, in the sense that you expected someone else to push you along. That’s not how it works. You must show initiative. Start by revising your resume. Include on it the skills and responsibilities that you have gained in your role at this company. Name the role based on what you do, rather than calling it “volunteer” or “intern.” Next, go to your supervisor and pitch yourself for a paid role at the company. Point out all that you have learned and are applying to the job. Don’t stop there. Look more broadly in your field, and send your resume to competitors. You may just be ready to be hired somewhere else.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter, and my good friend has a teenage son. She has very different ideas about teens and dating than me. I think that it is natural for teenagers to be attracted to each other. Sometimes that turns into crushes and even dating. When monitored, teenagers going out and getting to know each other, going to events and spending time together seems normal to me. My friend says teens should not be allowed to date until they are over 16. She thinks it is distracting and dangerous.

While I am not naive, I do not think it is practical or wise to try to prevent young people who like each other from being around each other. I do think it is a parent’s responsibility to teach teenagers what they deem to be appropriate behavior. Do they always follow directions? No. But I believe that not allowing them to spend time together could be worse. How do I address this with my friend when we do not share ideals at all? -- At Odds, Dallas

DEAR AT ODDS: You do not have to come to an agreement with your friend over your parenting styles. It can be enlightening to learn about how other parents set boundaries and teach their children about the twists and turns of growing up, including the birds and the bees. Ultimately, though, you must decide what to teach your daughter and how to guide her steps. You can take comfort in being resolute in your approach. If and when you run into challenges, review them based on your values, not someone else’s.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Most of my son’s friends plan on going to private high school. Currently, we all are in a private, or so-called "independent," school together. My husband and I have thought about it long and hard, and we just can’t afford the paid route anymore. We are experiencing tuition fatigue and need to figure out a way to save some money so we can send our son to college when the time comes. He is very disappointed that we are considering public schools only, even though there are some great choices in our city.

How can we get our son to understand that this decision is based on the bigger picture? We want to be able to enjoy family time together, take vacations and not go broke. We can’t have that quality of life and keep paying high tuition. -- Gaining Perspective, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR GAINING PERSPECTIVE: Talking to your son about lifestyle choices can be helpful. First, you can show him the great options in high-quality public high schools. Second, you can explain what you can do as a family with some extra available cash. You also need to talk to him about being clear that every family is different. What one family can afford and chooses to do is quite different from the next. Your measuring stick should be in your own home rather than comparing yourself to your friends. This is hard to accept, but it is a necessary part of life. Show him your vision, and then help to make it manifest.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been a night owl, but now it’s catching up with me. I stay up late watching lame TV shows, and then I can hardly get up in the morning to start my day. I know this is crazy, but I haven’t been able to break the cycle. My husband and I have been on the outs recently, and I think that’s how it started. Rather than going to bed when he does, I stay up late and basically avoid him. Now, it’s backfiring. I can’t get up in the morning. I’ve been late for work a few times. I’m exhausted, yet I can’t seem to change my pattern. -- Night Owl, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR NIGHT OWL: You have to deal with the fundamental issue before you -- what’s going on in your marriage. Avoiding that elephant in the room has your schedule all twisted with unnecessary distractions. It is unhealthy for you to continue down this path.

While it may seem scary and daunting to approach the crisis in your marriage directly, you owe it to yourself and your husband to do just that. Consider engaging a marriage counselor to help you out. A professional may be able to point you in a direction that will make it easier for you to talk about your issues with your husband and come to some clarity about what you need to do. Be sure to tell the therapist about your sleep issues, too. I think they are all related.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Do you remember those spam emails that circulated a few years ago from Nigerians "princes" who claimed they wanted to wire millions of dollars into your bank account? Well, I just got one from a Russian making the same claim. It is obvious to me that this is a scam, but it also makes me uncomfortable. I wonder how these people got my email address and who else they might be scamming when it works? The promise is unbelievable. They will wire millions in your account if you send a small amount of money to them along with your bank account number. I know that there are lots of people out there with money problems. When you are desperate enough, you could make the mistake of falling for one of these crazy scams. Is there anything I can do as one who received this solicitation? I would love to help if I can. -- Be the Solution, Atlanta

DEAR BE THE SOLUTION: Unfortunately, scam artists abound, and they do catch some unsuspecting people who think that they are about to get an unbelievable deal. When something seems too good to be true, it usually is. You can report the message as spam to your provider. You can also file a report at ftccomplaintassistant.gov.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)