DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter, and my good friend has a teenage son. She has very different ideas about teens and dating than me. I think that it is natural for teenagers to be attracted to each other. Sometimes that turns into crushes and even dating. When monitored, teenagers going out and getting to know each other, going to events and spending time together seems normal to me. My friend says teens should not be allowed to date until they are over 16. She thinks it is distracting and dangerous.

While I am not naive, I do not think it is practical or wise to try to prevent young people who like each other from being around each other. I do think it is a parent’s responsibility to teach teenagers what they deem to be appropriate behavior. Do they always follow directions? No. But I believe that not allowing them to spend time together could be worse. How do I address this with my friend when we do not share ideals at all? -- At Odds, Dallas

DEAR AT ODDS: You do not have to come to an agreement with your friend over your parenting styles. It can be enlightening to learn about how other parents set boundaries and teach their children about the twists and turns of growing up, including the birds and the bees. Ultimately, though, you must decide what to teach your daughter and how to guide her steps. You can take comfort in being resolute in your approach. If and when you run into challenges, review them based on your values, not someone else’s.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Most of my son’s friends plan on going to private high school. Currently, we all are in a private, or so-called "independent," school together. My husband and I have thought about it long and hard, and we just can’t afford the paid route anymore. We are experiencing tuition fatigue and need to figure out a way to save some money so we can send our son to college when the time comes. He is very disappointed that we are considering public schools only, even though there are some great choices in our city.

How can we get our son to understand that this decision is based on the bigger picture? We want to be able to enjoy family time together, take vacations and not go broke. We can’t have that quality of life and keep paying high tuition. -- Gaining Perspective, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR GAINING PERSPECTIVE: Talking to your son about lifestyle choices can be helpful. First, you can show him the great options in high-quality public high schools. Second, you can explain what you can do as a family with some extra available cash. You also need to talk to him about being clear that every family is different. What one family can afford and chooses to do is quite different from the next. Your measuring stick should be in your own home rather than comparing yourself to your friends. This is hard to accept, but it is a necessary part of life. Show him your vision, and then help to make it manifest.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been a night owl, but now it’s catching up with me. I stay up late watching lame TV shows, and then I can hardly get up in the morning to start my day. I know this is crazy, but I haven’t been able to break the cycle. My husband and I have been on the outs recently, and I think that’s how it started. Rather than going to bed when he does, I stay up late and basically avoid him. Now, it’s backfiring. I can’t get up in the morning. I’ve been late for work a few times. I’m exhausted, yet I can’t seem to change my pattern. -- Night Owl, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR NIGHT OWL: You have to deal with the fundamental issue before you -- what’s going on in your marriage. Avoiding that elephant in the room has your schedule all twisted with unnecessary distractions. It is unhealthy for you to continue down this path.

While it may seem scary and daunting to approach the crisis in your marriage directly, you owe it to yourself and your husband to do just that. Consider engaging a marriage counselor to help you out. A professional may be able to point you in a direction that will make it easier for you to talk about your issues with your husband and come to some clarity about what you need to do. Be sure to tell the therapist about your sleep issues, too. I think they are all related.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Do you remember those spam emails that circulated a few years ago from Nigerians "princes" who claimed they wanted to wire millions of dollars into your bank account? Well, I just got one from a Russian making the same claim. It is obvious to me that this is a scam, but it also makes me uncomfortable. I wonder how these people got my email address and who else they might be scamming when it works? The promise is unbelievable. They will wire millions in your account if you send a small amount of money to them along with your bank account number. I know that there are lots of people out there with money problems. When you are desperate enough, you could make the mistake of falling for one of these crazy scams. Is there anything I can do as one who received this solicitation? I would love to help if I can. -- Be the Solution, Atlanta

DEAR BE THE SOLUTION: Unfortunately, scam artists abound, and they do catch some unsuspecting people who think that they are about to get an unbelievable deal. When something seems too good to be true, it usually is. You can report the message as spam to your provider. You can also file a report at ftccomplaintassistant.gov.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A guy who went to college with me has kept in touch over the years, always asking me to do him favors -- for free -- for his various business ideas that he is building in order to make a profit. When he first started with his requests, I tried to comply to be nice. While we were not close in college, I did know him. I figured it’s collegial to help each other out. But his requests typically come with great urgency and absolutely never with a paycheck.

He has worked on all kinds of things -- many that have been profitable. Once I told him I would help if he hired me. I put together a proposal, but nothing came of it. I think he was offended that I wanted to be paid. He has come back to ask me to do something else for him. It wouldn't take that long, but I already have other favors that I’m doing for people that have been postponed because of my work schedule. How do I manage this man’s constant requests? He is always taking, never giving. But he’s so smooth in his requests that I seem to agree to do what he wants without evening realizing it. -- Beware the Leech, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR BEWARE THE LEECH: It sounds like this guy puts you under a spell, so to speak, and when you wake up later, you’ve been duped. Rather than feeling like you must fulfill whatever he has asked of you when you realize that he has pulled a fast one again, evaluate what you have agreed to do. If you don’t want to do it or don’t have time, tell him. In this case, you can let him know via email that you cannot get to his project until you have fulfilled your work obligations and the other favors that are you your list. Let him know plainly that you have put him in a queue, and you will get to it when you can. If he cannot live with your revised timeline, apologize for not being able to comply and suggest that he ask someone else to do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently ran into one of my neighbors, who used to invite me over to his house for drinks and social events with some regularity. I realize he doesn’t invite me anymore. When I saw him, he casually said to me that he looks forward to me inviting him over for drinks sometime. Naturally, reciprocating is what I should be doing, but I can’t. My house looks like it should be featured on that show “Hoarders.” I’m serious. I can’t seem to get it under control. I constantly work on sorting through things and throwing stuff away, but without success. When my neighbor asked me to invite him over, I thought I would die. How can I climb out of the mess? -- In Hiding, Minneapolis

DEAR IN HIDING: Get help. If you have been trying for years to clean up without accomplishing your goal, you need professional support. Contact a company in your area that helps hoarders clear out their homes. It is not an easy process, but you can get there with the right help. Keep thinking of being able to invite your neighbor over as motivation to take action!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)