DEAR HARRIETTE: Every summer for the past 15 years, my family and I have gone on vacation to the beach. This year has been difficult. I lost my job a few months ago, and we have had to cut back on our activities a lot. We managed to scrape together enough money to send our son to the camp he has attended for the past few years, but that meant that there was no money left for my husband and me to do anything more than whatever we can do locally. Friends keep asking us what’s up, why we aren’t heading to the sun like usual. Do I tell the truth -- we just can’t afford it this year? Or do I say we decided to stay home and work on our house, which is also true? I’m not sure how forthcoming is appropriate. -- No Sun, No Fun, Dayton, Ohio

DEAR NO SUN, NO FUN: Think about the friends who are asking, how close you are to them and how much you want them to know. Since you are out of work, you may want to let people know so that if they have any leads, they can share them with you. Keeping your state of employment to yourself does not necessarily help you, even though it can be tough and feel embarrassing to talk about it. For the friends that you feel comfortable talking to, tell the truth -- all of it. It is a blessing that your son is able to enjoy the summer in his normal way. You are making the best of your situation, but these are lean times. Opening up allows you to think out loud with loved ones. Maybe you will find a path to abundance in this way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read one of your recent columns, and I wonder: Did anyone entertain the possibility that "Alex," the hungry teenager who eats constantly without any regard for his family, has an eating disorder and needs help? I know that it's more common in girls, but the fact that he doesn't make any specific requests but gorges on everything in sight sounds like compulsive eating. He's a teenager, and teenagers are under stress and often have emotional problems. Please suggest to his mother that she check it out. -- Concerned, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR CONCERNED: Thank you for your suggestion. You are smart to point out that boys, too, can suffer from eating disorders. I did some research to be able to share more here. It turns out that teenage boys (and men) nationwide do wrestle with anorexia, bulimia and binge eating. Any parent who suspects his or her child of eating in an unhealthy way should investigate the possibility of an eating disorder. Get a complete physical for your child so that you gain an assessment of his or her health, and take the necessary steps to get your child healthy. This website has some good information specific to eating disorders and males: nationaleatingdisorders.org/males-and-eating-disorders. For anyone else who may be facing an eating disorder, do not suffer alone. Get help.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 90-year-old mother just moved into a retirement community because she could not live on her own anymore. My siblings and I have helped her to make this transition, and it’s going well. She seems to be more active since there are other people around. I live in a different state and feel like I want to go visit her before the summer is out. At the same time, I want to give her space to settle into her new home. Should I wait? She has been in this place now for about a month. -- Missing Mama, Denver

DEAR MISSING MAMA: I bet any and every time you visit your mother, she will be happy to see you. At 90 years old, she is likely in the twilight of her life, so each visit is precious. Ask her if she would like you to come at a particular time and how long it would work for you to stay.

Always honor your mother’s independence, even as she gets frail and in need of support. This will help her maintain her dignity. A visit to her new place could be great for her. As many parents do, she will likely walk you around to meet many of the residents and brag about her child. She will likely be in seventh heaven! Go now to see her, and go back again soon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going to a fancy white party this summer with a group of friends from my hometown. I am excited to go because when I come home to visit in the summer, I usually just hang out with family -- which is nice -- but I don’t go out and socialize.

I learned about this party and bought a cute dress. I was super excited until I learned that my ex will be there. He and I dated all through high school and into college, and then it sort of fizzled out. I have been on my own for a few years now, living my life. It seems weird to run into him again. Things didn’t end so nicely. We were young, and some things were said that were not kind, on both sides. How should I react to him when I see him at this function? Part of me feels like I shouldn’t go anymore. -- Beware Ex, Cincinnati

DEAR BEWARE EX: Time has passed. Trust that you are adult enough to handle this potential encounter. If you see him, make eye contact, smile and walk over to greet him. Be kind and cordial. Ask how he’s doing. You can leave the conversation very casual. If it seems, however, that the encounter is becoming awkward and emotional, you can also say to him that you are sorry that things turned out the way they did years ago. You were both young, but still you know you were not kind to him. Tell him you hope he is having a good life. Tell him that you are doing well, and move on. That’s all you can do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got into a heated discussion with a good friend about disciplining children. Typically, I stay away from these kinds of conversations because I know that people have various ways of dealing with their kids, but this was different. She told me a whole long story about how she had physically “handled” her teenage son so that he would listen to her. Then she asked me what I would do if I were in her situation. She asked! So I told her that I do not think that resorting to violence helps to teach kids how to behave. In fact, I think it can help teach kids to resort to violence rather than learn a lesson. She listened, but I could tell she wasn’t going to do anything different. Should I bring it up again? How do I handle this topic moving forward? We are close friends, and we see each other a lot. -- Roughed Up, Dallas

DEAR ROUGHED UP: You stated your opinion clearly when your friend requested it. Leave it at that. You do not have ongoing permission to voice your thoughts about the way that she parents her son. Keep your opinions to yourself unless you are asked again or you witness anything that makes you believe she is putting her son in danger.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently moved to New York City, and everything is so different from my hometown. One of the things that is most troubling for me is I don’t know what to do when people ask me for money. Just about every day as I am going to work or the grocery store or getting on or off the subway, somebody asks me for money. It’s all kinds of people, too, from young people to people who obviously have been on the street for a long time to people with dogs, in wheelchairs, you name it.

At first, I gave something to everybody who asked, but I ran out of change fast. Now I am more mindful, but it’s hard to deny people a dollar when they seem so in need. What can I do to help people without going broke or feeling overwhelmed? -- Want to Help, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR WANT TO HELP: There are thousands of homeless people in New York City, as well as others who have fallen upon hard times for a variety of reasons. Drugs, alcohol and mental illness affect many of them. Yes, they need help. On occasion, your dollar may make a difference. You may want to consider another option, though. Do your research and select a charity that supports homeless people, people with drug and alcohol addiction or people dealing with mental illness. Giving money to a program that is organized to support people in this type of need may be more manageable for you and your gift may be better honored by those who are administering the programs. Just make sure you select a program that has a good rating for using its resources for the people, not the staff.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)