DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got into a heated discussion with a good friend about disciplining children. Typically, I stay away from these kinds of conversations because I know that people have various ways of dealing with their kids, but this was different. She told me a whole long story about how she had physically “handled” her teenage son so that he would listen to her. Then she asked me what I would do if I were in her situation. She asked! So I told her that I do not think that resorting to violence helps to teach kids how to behave. In fact, I think it can help teach kids to resort to violence rather than learn a lesson. She listened, but I could tell she wasn’t going to do anything different. Should I bring it up again? How do I handle this topic moving forward? We are close friends, and we see each other a lot. -- Roughed Up, Dallas

DEAR ROUGHED UP: You stated your opinion clearly when your friend requested it. Leave it at that. You do not have ongoing permission to voice your thoughts about the way that she parents her son. Keep your opinions to yourself unless you are asked again or you witness anything that makes you believe she is putting her son in danger.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently moved to New York City, and everything is so different from my hometown. One of the things that is most troubling for me is I don’t know what to do when people ask me for money. Just about every day as I am going to work or the grocery store or getting on or off the subway, somebody asks me for money. It’s all kinds of people, too, from young people to people who obviously have been on the street for a long time to people with dogs, in wheelchairs, you name it.

At first, I gave something to everybody who asked, but I ran out of change fast. Now I am more mindful, but it’s hard to deny people a dollar when they seem so in need. What can I do to help people without going broke or feeling overwhelmed? -- Want to Help, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR WANT TO HELP: There are thousands of homeless people in New York City, as well as others who have fallen upon hard times for a variety of reasons. Drugs, alcohol and mental illness affect many of them. Yes, they need help. On occasion, your dollar may make a difference. You may want to consider another option, though. Do your research and select a charity that supports homeless people, people with drug and alcohol addiction or people dealing with mental illness. Giving money to a program that is organized to support people in this type of need may be more manageable for you and your gift may be better honored by those who are administering the programs. Just make sure you select a program that has a good rating for using its resources for the people, not the staff.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an employee who has worked with me remotely for about two years. She is a college student. She would turn in her work once a week like clockwork until last semester, when she became more erratic. I communicated with her about her tardiness. She apologized and assured me that she would do better. This summer, she has been very spotty in turning in her work, even after we had an exchange about the importance of following up and being professional.

Fast-forward to now: I haven’t heard from her in two weeks. I am frustrated because she was such a reliable support to my business, and now she has trailed off entirely. Do I write to her one more time to see what’s going on? I hate to lose her. Also, if she wanted a recommendation, it would be hard for me to give a good one, considering that she has walked away from me in a very unprofessional manner. -- Virtually Missing, Minneapolis

DEAR VIRTUALLY MISSING: As far as your business is concerned, the writing on the wall is telling you to find a replacement for this employee. She has proven to be unreliable. If you need the work done, you need to find someone who wants to do it.

As far as your employee is concerned, send her a note. Check to see if she is OK, that no misfortune has befallen her. Then state in your note that you must hear from her, even if she is no longer going to be working with you. Impress upon her the importance of having a smooth ending to your professional relationship. Otherwise, you will not be able to give her a good recommendation in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My primary care doctor is retiring, and I’m in a panic. I have been going to her for more than 20 years. I got a letter saying she is finished and I can go to another doctor in her practice if I want, but I don’t know any of them. I got a recommendation from a friend for another doctor. Now that my doctor is gone, how can I get my records transferred to the new doctor? I am so confused. I don’t think my doctor handled this well. She’s just gone, and that’s that. -- Need Records, Philadelphia

DEAR NEED RECORDS: Take a deep breath. It’s not as bad as you think. Contact your former doctor’s practice. Let them know that you were her patient for many years and are now transferring to another doctor. Ask if you can come in and pick up your records or have them transferred electronically to your new doctor. Your new doctor may need to make a formal request, which is good, as it protects your confidentiality. You may have to push a little to make this happen, but you have every right to a smooth transfer of your medical records.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent Sunday afternoon talking to a friend who started her life on welfare and who is wealthy now. I was so inspired by her, but I was also sad. I have not saved money well and am essentially broke. I’m in my mid-50s, and I really don’t think that I can get out of this hole. Meeting this friend and hearing about her life made me think there may be a chance that I can turn a corner and not remain impoverished until my dying day. I am so ashamed that I don’t know what to do. Is it too late to talk to a financial adviser about turning my finances around? -- Too Late, Queens, New York

DEAR TOO LATE: It is never too late to make the choice to improve your life, including your finances. You are asking the right questions, too. Since you are not an expert on money, it is essential that you get help. You may want to start with your bank to see what you can do with the money you have. The government also offers free financial advice. In New York, visit www1.nyc.gov/site/dca/consumers/get-free-financial-counseling.page for information. Each state has this service. Don’t give up on yourself. Instead, get educated and empowered. You can improve your circumstances, step by step.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My little brother has it in his head that he wants to be a football star. He has been playing football since he was in first grade. Now he’s in middle school and he’s doing pretty well, but last weekend he got hurt on the field. The coach says he will be fine, but my parents are freaked out because they’ve heard all this stuff about concussions leading to major brain injuries later in life. They are talking about pulling him from football entirely. My brother has asked me to step in and lobby for him. I don’t know what to do. I want my brother to be able to pursue his dream, but I don’t want him to end up brain-dead or something. I never played football when I was a boy, so I’m not attached to it like he is. What should I do? -- Kick It, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR KICK IT: I wish I could be more optimistic. Obviously, football is an American pastime that has been played by thousands of children and adults for generations. Recent research, however, suggests that brain injury is common in football players due to the constant contact that includes head trauma.

I am not here to suggest that your brother stop playing. My recommendation is that your family do as much research as you can so that you can make an informed decision about your brother’s future. Your parents may want to get a medical opinion from a doctor who can speak about the long-term effects of playing football on a growing brain. Here’s an article to get you started: theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/10/football-kids-heads/504863/.

Ultimately, this is a personal decision that will be hard to make, no matter what you decide. As his big brother, you can be compassionate and be a great listener as you also express your honest concerns. Leave it to your parents to decide, though.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)