DEAR HARRIETTE: I went out to dinner with a group of friends last weekend. We had a lot of fun, but one of my friends got pretty wasted. We had to collect her from the restroom, where she had been vomiting. It was embarrassing, as we were at a fancy restaurant.

Beyond the embarrassment, though, is the fact that she didn’t know when to stop drinking. It’s one thing to hang out and have fun and another entirely to pass out and have to be dragged into the car because she couldn’t handle herself. I doubt that my friend will even remember what happened, she was so far gone. Do I tell her about it? I think I would want to know. Everybody in my group drinks socially, so I’m no saint here. I think she has a problem. What should I do? -- SOS, Denver

Dear SOS: Trust your gut. Get in touch with your friend. If at all possible, meet with her face to face. Be honest and compassionate. Tell her that you want to talk to her about the dinner you and your friends recently attended. Ask her if she remembers anything about the evening. Do not interrogate her, though. Ask for her blessing for you to share your concerns with her. Then, describe to her how she behaved and why you are concerned. Tell her you think she went way overboard and that you want to make sure she knows that it wasn’t good for her or for your group.

Ask your friend if she thinks she needs help managing alcohol. If so, suggest that she take action. The easiest thing to do for starters is to go to Alcoholics Anonymous (aa.org). If she balks at that, suggest that she drink less so that she can stay in control.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I often travel with a colleague for work. We work in the field, and typically there is a lot of driving involved. The way the project is set up, my colleague is always the driver. He rents the car, figures out the navigation and drives, often for hours on end to get to our jobs. I don’t love driving, so in a way, this is nice. But it also seems sexist that the company has him driving. Beyond that, this guy is not the safest driver. He often jerks from lane to lane as he is looking at his GPS. Sometimes it’s scary. When I offer to co-pilot and say the navigation out loud ahead of time, he shrugs it off. I’m tired of holding my breath while driving. Should I tell him I want to drive? Should I demand to help with navigation? -- On Eggshells, Detroit

DEAR ON EGGSHELLS: Stand up for yourself. You have the legal right to drive a rental car that is rented by a co-worker. Tell your colleague that you do not think he is driving safely when he is reading the GPS and driving erratically. Offer to drive some of the time. Require that you serve as co-pilot when he is driving. Make it clear that you feel unsafe with the way that he drives, so changes must be made -- now. Try to work this out between you. Go to management only if you cannot resolve it together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter is at sleepaway camp. She seems to be having a wonderful time. We speak to her once a week, and the reports are always great. This is her fourth year at the camp, which also helps us to feel at ease. That is, until we got a message that one of the campers had tried to hurt herself the other day. The message was vague, though we were told that our daughter was fine and the camp has talked to all of the girls in the affected group. I spoke to my daughter, who is fine.

When I told a friend, however, she was irate. She thought I should pull my daughter from the camp immediately because it is unsafe. She also hated that the kids don’t have their phones and thought the whole scene is unsafe. Now I’m torn. My daughter is strong and clear. I believe she is safe. My friend has put doubts in my mind. What should I do? -- Camp Mom, Syracuse, New York

DEAR CAMP MOM: Trust your instincts, your child's words and the administration of the camp. Contact camp officials to find out what’s going on now and what safety measures they have put in place to protect the campers. Stay in close touch so that you can feel confident that the situation is being handled to your satisfaction. If you ever feel that your daughter is unsafe, absolutely go get her immediately.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an independent contractor. I have been building my business for a few years now. I currently have a client who has erratic behavior. Sometimes she is clear in her communication about what she wants me to do. Other times, she seems extremely high-strung and angry. When she is in that mood, everything I say or do is all wrong. I feel like I am working for two different people, and it’s hard to function professionally. I want to keep this contract, as I like the work and it’s fairly consistent. But it is hard for me work for someone who is unclear and seemingly emotionally unstable. What can I do to get this relationship to be more professional? -- Calm Down, Toledo, Ohio

DEAR CALM DOWN: When dealing with a difficult client, one of the most effective things you can do is to write everything down and get sign-offs of your work. With your client’s signature in hand, you may be able to show her what you agreed to do and remind her that she agreed to it to help calm her. Sometimes, though, it’s best to let a person rant and say nothing. Let the person release his or her emotions. Later, when things are calm again, double back and review how you are planning to proceed with the work at hand. Don’t address the outburst. Instead, stay the course based upon your written agreement. You may find that your volatile client settles back into the original plan more often than not if you do not react to her hysterics but wait instead for a quieter moment to engage.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently noticed that my 90-year-old mother eats a lot of sweets. Specifically, she eats dessert every single day. She has even been asking my niece to buy cookies for her on a regular basis. This made me a little nervous. Diabetes runs in my family. Though she doesn’t have it, I feel like eating sweets every day can’t be good for her body.

My sister, who is the one primarily in charge of making sure my mother is OK and who lives nearby, told me to lay off. She said my mother’s doctor said she can eat whatever she wants. She is not diabetic. She is not overweight, and she is 90. She has earned the privilege of eating what she wants. Should I stop harping on this? I don’t live in the same town, so I don’t know everything that’s going on, but I also don’t want my mother to get sick in her old age. -- Hawkish, Boston

DEAR HAWKISH: Since you do not live in your mother’s town, you really do not know what’s happening on a daily basis. You need to trust your sister. You can absolutely ask her to give you updates on your mother’s health. Speak directly to her about your concerns about diabetes. The reality, though, is that your mother has lived for 90 years. If she is in relatively good health, this is a huge blessing. Don’t make the mistake of inserting yourself in her health management where it isn’t necessary. Daily dessert as part of a balanced diet may be just fine. Excess sugar and salt are things to worry about.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a huge argument with a woman who used to be a very close friend. I stopped hanging out with her a few years ago because she was growing increasingly more negative, talking badly about everyone in our friend circle. I ended up speaking to her the other day, and it was awful. She went on a rant about me, telling me all the reasons why I am a horrible person. She dredged up stories from my past that only a good friend would know, and she used them against me. I felt horrible. I admit that I have made some mistakes in my life, but this woman is not St. Peter or Jesus. I feel like she overstepped her bounds by chewing me out the way she did. Should I say anything else? In the moment, I told her that I was sorry if I ever hurt her or anyone else, but I was done talking about it. My fear is that she is blabbing this old stuff to anybody who will listen. Do I confront her? -- Stop It, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR STOP IT: The best thing you can do is walk away. Your angry former friend is stuck in the past. There is nothing you can do to lure her into the future. For whatever reason, she feels she has power by holding your past indiscretions over your head. Since you cannot control what she says or to whom, let it go. Live your life honorably. If you are confronted by others about what she has said, respond on a case-by-case basis. You do not have to explain yourself to people. Live your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)