DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend “Beatrice” is very well-off and never wants for anything. She so rarely has a lack of something in her life that I have no idea what to take over when she entertains. I think that showing up empty-handed is in poor taste, yet I have no idea what I can take her that she doesn’t already have 80 of! -- Got It All, Denver

DEAR GOT IT ALL: I bet your friend Beatrice is truly happy just having the pleasure of your company when she entertains. Make sure that when you attend her events, you are alert and ready to be of support should she need it.

In terms of a tangible gift, think of Beatrice and what interests her. Does she like to read? You can get her a copy of the latest book in her genre of choice. Does she like to cook? You could bring her a featured olive oil from your local farmers market. Think outside the box in terms of gift items that are small enough to not be a nuisance taking up space but that have meaning and a small story that could make the gift interesting. You can add a little note with the item telling her why this particular thing made you think of her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: English is my stepmother’s second language. She says she is more comfortable in her native tongue, but she has also known English for over 20 years. I mention this because I hear her speaking Spanish with my stepsisters, and I think they’re talking about me. Why would they speak a language they know I can’t understand? -- Gossips, San Jose, California

DEAR GOSSIPS: When you believe that your stepmother and stepsisters are talking about you, what has just happened? Can you figure out triggers for the moments when you feel they are speaking Spanish and excluding you? Do you have solid reason to think they are talking about you rather than simply speaking in their own common tongue?

When they launch into Spanish, you should immediately ask them to speak English so that you can understand the conversation, too. Continue to ask, even if they comply only occasionally.

I would recommend going one step further. Take a Spanish class. Learn to speak this language that is now part of your family. You don’t need to tell them that you are studying. Just learn and begin to pick up on what they are saying. When you become more fluent, start to speak to them in Spanish. If you find that they have been talking about you, ask them in Spanish to choose to be family with you instead of squabbling over anything. Then work hard to build a relationship with them. Talk to your father about this, too, so that he can help to be the glue. It takes time for families to blend, but it is possible, even when there are language barriers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage son, "Alex," eats large amounts of food. This is to be expected for a growing boy, and I’d estimate he eats six full meals a day. He eats everything in the refrigerator, on the counters and in the pantry.

I've noticed my daughter, who is 10, eating less and less because Alex devourers her favorite foods without thinking. I believe he eats inconsiderately because he never asks for anything from the grocery store, yet eats all the food that everyone else requests. How can I balance life with a human vacuum in the kitchen? -- Moderation, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR MODERATION: You need to talk to Alex to teach him about using his brain when he reaches for food. It is important for him to think about others, even as he is a growing teenager who craves food. You may also want to resort to an extreme measure that many other families have had to put in place -- lock some food away that he cannot access. Put the foods that you want reserved for your daughter and for the rest of the family into a separate refrigerator that you literally lock. That way, Alex cannot eat it even if he wants to.

Finally, you can continue to ask Alex to give you a list of food items he prefers. Put his name on those items, and put your daughter’s name on her favorites, yours on your favorites and so on. At least this will begin to raise the awareness in your home that food is there for more than one person’s consumption.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been putting off publishing my own website on which to sell my ceramic art. What nobody knows, though, is that I have a completely done, unpublished website ready for launch. Every time I think about pressing “publish,” I think of how embarrassing it’d be to fail. While everyone encourages me, I know they won’t all buy my art. Should I wait until I sell some pieces in person? I could not handle failing at my favorite thing in the world. -- Under Pressure, Williamsburg, Virginia

DEAR UNDER PRESSURE: Stop drowning in worries about what might go wrong and launch! Success will be measured over time, and trust that your success will not be due to your friends buying most of your artwork. You will need to build a following among collectors of your style of work. You must cultivate mailing lists, learn to promote your work in a targeted way and find craft fairs and other events where you can bring your work for others to see.

For starters, you don’t have to tell your core group of friends and family, if that makes you feel safer. Do a soft launch, look for online and other outlets that attract your customer and align with them. When you feel comfortable, tell your loved ones and ask for their support. Focus on the positive, and build your art business.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I accepted a position at a company that’s been experiencing a lot of turnover. I didn’t know this until I started working here, and I find that it makes it hard for me to stay motivated when I see people leaving every few months. The office is fairly small (around 20), yet I have seen four new hires in my two months working here. How can I stay motivated at a company where all the others just pack their bags when it gets tough? -- Keep Your Head Up, Arlington, Virginia

DEAR KEEP YOUR HEAD UP: Set a goal for yourself at this company, something big enough to be a stretch. Next, map out a strategy to meet that goal that includes working with fellow team members to show your collaborative spirit but that allows for enough independence that if someone were to leave, it wouldn’t handicap you. When people leave, say goodbye as you keep your eyes on your prize. You should know that people who stay at jobs long enough to make a positive and long-lasting impact on the company, its staff and the bottom line tend to move on successfully to other businesses because they are establishing track records of success that will follow them. You have a chance to build a stellar reputation of being responsible, hard-working, loyal and committed by keeping yourself focused -- no matter who goes through that revolving door.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father is a hoarder. He saves everything from his old teeth to plastic bags. It revolts me and causes me embarrassment. He grew up during a war, so I sympathize with his compulsion to keep whatever goods he can. Luckily for me, we live oceans apart, and I don’t have to see the living conditions he brazenly fights for. (The family has tried helping to no avail.)

My husband has never met my father, and has recently expressed interest in taking a trip. I have never told him much about my father, and I don’t want them to meet. How can I keep the men in my life separate? -- Honesty Isn’t the Best Policy, Los Angeles

DEAR HONESTY ISN’T THE BEST POLICY: Don’t allow your embarrassment over your father’s life circumstances deprive your husband of meeting him. Instead, tell the truth. Admit that you are embarrassed because you have no idea what state your father’s home will be in since you know he’s a hoarder. Tell your husband that the thought of a visit makes your skin crawl, but you love both of them enough to make the effort. Without belaboring the reality of your father’s physical circumstances, tell your husband what you know and what the family has told you.

Then, focus on the good things. Share stories with your husband about your father that reveal his character as well as anything you remember about your interactions growing up with him. Be descriptive as you show positive, illustrative stories that will help paint a picture of who your father is.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)