DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss, “Sara,” isn’t the most well-liked person at my company. Sara leaves her packages lying around, is very brash and rarely cleans up after herself. Other employees make snarky comments about her behind her back when she is not at work. There’s no way to deny that she is all of the previously stated things (she has asked someone if they are pregnant or just “got fat”).

Should I defend Sara when I hear these statements? I don’t want to ostracize myself, but I feel like I should stick up for my boss no matter what. -- Employee of the Century, Wichita, Kansas

DEAR EMPLOYEE OF THE CENTURY: Watch what you say. You should not defend inappropriate behavior, no matter whose behavior it is. To protect your boss, it would be better for you to speak to her privately and express your concern that when she makes comments about people’s body size and condition, it is hurtful and embarrassing, but more, it could put your boss in a compromised position. An employee could accuse her of being discriminatory or worse.

What you can say when people talk about your boss is that you think it’s smart for everyone to focus on work. Griping about the boss on the job is not productive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father is in his 60s and not in the best health. He still travels for work because he does not want to hand over the reins to anybody else. I respect that my father wants to stay independent; however, I never hear from him when he's traveling. He is sometimes gone for weeks at a time, and I always assume the worst when he doesn’t call, text or email once every few days. Am I being an overbearing son? I don’t want to hound him, but I need to know my old man is still well. -- Smoke Signals Work, Too, Jacksonville, Florida

DEAR SMOKE SIGNALS WORK, TOO: Your challenge is tough as your father wants to maintain his independence. You need to get creative in order to convince your father to stay in touch. Consider asking him to text you photos when he gets to his destination. Tell him you miss him and would love to see snippets of his trips while you also get to confirm that he’s safe

Be honest. Tell him that in this day and age, it is important for you to know where he is. So much is going on in the world, it will set your mind at ease to know that your dad is OK. Admit to acting like a father yourself. Then do it. Go sappy on him. Tell your father that you love him, you worry about him and you need to know that he’s fine. Ask him to agree to at least call or text when he gets to his destinations and when he returns home. If he is flying a lot, ask him to shoot you a quick text saying he’s safe in whatever city it is, and that’s that. You may have to remind him from time to time and even nudge him to respond. Keep trying.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My air-conditioning unit has not been functioning in my apartment in this summer heat. “Thomas,” my landlord, has been completely useless and ignores my complaints. I don’t have the cash to threaten him with a lawsuit, but I want to stand up for myself. I live in an area where it reaches 90 degrees during the day! I find myself staying late at work just because I dread coming home to that suffocating heat. How can I get Thomas to take action? I don’t know any of his other renters to ask for advice on how to deal with him. -- Heatwave, Atlanta

DEAR HEATWAVE: Check your lease to see if it says explicitly that your apartment comes complete with an air-conditioning unit. If it is written there, you have the legal right to have your landlord provide a working air conditioner. Next, let your landlord know that you will either withhold your rent -- in escrow -- until he repairs or replaces your air conditioner, or you will have it repaired or replaced and take the cost out of your rent. Either option is fair if your lease proves that he should be providing this for you. Put your suggestions in writing. Follow up with a text and a call. If you still get no response, collect your documentation so that you can prove that you made an effort, and go get some air conditioning!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage son has decided to lose his baby weight by exercising. I love this initiative; however, it makes my home smell foul. “Victor” has body odor, and I don’t think wearing deodorant crosses his mind. I have hinted that he needs to start using deodorant and have even offered to buy it for him, but Vick just laughs me off. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but I was mortified when a friend came over and said I “clearly have sons.” How do I get Vick to start using antiperspirant or deodorant? I don’t want to scare him away from exercising. -- No B.O., Seattle

DEAR NO B.O.: You need to talk to your son about hygiene and teach him how to care for his body. This is not to dissuade him from exercising. It is also important for him to know about cleanliness and body odor. Tell him directly about his odor and the need to bathe with appropriate soap and use deodorant. Don’t give him an option on this. You can also relegate exercise to a certain part of the house that is well-ventilated or that you can make ventilated. You can use air fresheners to help combat the smell and vacuum often. Open the windows, too, to allow the pungent air to leave the house and clean air to flow in.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend “Alanna” makes significantly more money than me, even though we work in similar fields. When I first found out, I was angry at my company for such a large difference in salary, but now I am doubting Alanna’s brag about how much she makes. She could be trying to help me assert my worth, but I don't know whether to trust my friend or the person setting my salary. Should I ask Alanna for proof of her salary or just brush this off as typical financial gloating? -- Even the Playing Field, Detroit

DEAR EVEN THE PLAYING FIELD: You should turn away from Alanna’s bragging and concentrate on growing your career. Getting angry about Alanna’s paycheck isn’t going to help you very much.

Over time, however, as you build your career, you can do research to learn what the average salary range is for your particular job. You can ask a headhunter and look in industry publications and online for clues. If you find multiple sources that suggest that you are significantly underpaid, it may be time to speak to your boss. But do not approach your company with anger. That rarely leads to good consequences. Instead, become excellent and above reproach at what you do. Work to get recognized for your contributions, and position yourself for promotions to the best of your ability. Based on your research, if and when you do get a raise, compare it to industry standard. If it is below in a significant way, challenge your boss and ask for a more commensurate figure. Strategy is everything!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been fighting about what I deem a totally ridiculous topic -- how much I love my dog. I do pamper my dog more than other dog owners, since she sleeps in my bed and I always give her my leftovers in the kitchen after I’ve eaten. I take her hiking and traveling with me whenever possible, considering she weighs 8 pounds and is housebroken. I don’t see any credibility in his argument that I give too much love to my animal, but it appears to be turning into a deal breaker for him. Who needs to be on a tighter leash: the boyfriend or my dog, Pickle? -- Dogfight, Pittsburgh

DEAR DOGFIGHT: Find out from your boyfriend specifically what bothers him about your relationship with your dog. He could take issue with the dog sleeping in the bed, especially if he wants to cuddle up with you, too. Can you teach the dog that some nights are reserved for your special guest?

Does he like your dog? Is he willing to befriend Pickle? This is essential to know, because if he is truly anti-dogs -- or even anti-Pickle -- then you could be at an impasse. If, however, he just wants a bit more of you and bit less of Pickle, you may be able to create a compromise where everyone, including Pickle, can find a level of comfort. How much you like your boyfriend will determine how flexible you are willing to become.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)