DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe my car repairman is taking advantage of me. Admittedly, I don't know much about my car and how it functions, but “Jeff” gives me quotes about how many hundreds it will cost to replace parts on a fairly new American-made car after I go in to change my oil. He makes this seem like such a pressing issue, but I can't help but feel like he's just trying to squeeze every penny out of me. There are only two repair shops in town, so I choose between high prices or lies from Jeff. How can I assert myself so he stops trying to hold my car hostage? -- If It Ain't Broke, Aberdeen, Maryland

DEAR IF IT AIN’T BROKE: It is time for a third opinion. This time, you have to venture outside your town. Ask for referrals from friends or co-workers for a car repair service that is reputable and affordable. Call and ask if you can schedule a consultation. Sometimes you can get a simple evaluation as a courtesy or for a small fee. Do not reveal what you have been told by your guy. Instead, listen to learn what this new person suggests. If the recommendations match, go back to your guy. If your hunch is correct and it seems that Jeff is steering you down an unnecessary path, change your allegiance and start working with this new person. You can also let Jeff know at some point that you got another opinion and found that he was being unnecessarily pushy with his suggestions for your new car.

Finally, you should learn more about the inner workings of your car so that you have a working vocabulary and understanding of how it functions. In this way, you can be more proactive and knowledgeable when it comes time to have your car serviced.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter was just diagnosed with extremely low vitamin D. Her pediatrician told me to give her a daily dose of vitamin D to help balance her body, but this has me worried. My daughter eats well, and I just don’t understand why she would be so deficient. She is lactose intolerant, so she doesn’t drink much milk. The doctor said the sun helps -- except he doesn’t really want her hanging out in the sun because of the negative effects of sun on the skin. I’m giving her the vitamins, but I feel like a horrible mother that my daughter is in the predicament in the first place. -- Unbalanced, Dallas

DEAR UNBALANCED: Stop beating yourself up. Your doctor’s prescription for daily vitamin D is a common solution and one that should alleviate her problem. You should follow up with the doctor about what foods you can add to her diet to fortify her vitamin D intake as well. Look for alternatives to milk that contain vitamin D, including soy, rice and almond milk. Lactaid is an option that many lactose-intolerant people use.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been finding myself overeating more and more recently. At first, I was just treating myself to a little more pasta or a second helping of dinner. Now, I eat until I feel pain in my stomach. I know this isn't normal, yet I can't bring myself to stop. My exercise routine hasn't changed (about 60 minutes a day), so I can't find a logical excuse for this. I don't want to seem like the boy who cried wolf while going to the doctor. How can I stop myself from stuffing myself to the brim? -- Stuffing, Atlanta

DEAR STUFFING: It is time for a trip to your internist. Get a physical to rule out any underlying health issue that may be accelerating your desire to eat. Be sure to tell your doctor everything that you remember about your behavior patterns and eating habits, including when this increased eating began and what was going on in your life at the time. Pay attention to these variables. Has anything changed in your daily routine, in your relationships, in your work? Sometimes emotional changes can trigger eating changes. Review everything as you attempt to pinpoint what’s going on for you.

If your doctor is unable to identify the culprit, take matters into your own hands. You have already taken the first step, which is identifying the behavior that needs to change. Next, you can consciously decide not eat the things that will not honor your body. When you feel the urge to eat, choose fruits and vegetables. Drink more water. Throw the pasta away so that it cannot be a fulfilled temptation. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a typical “millennial office.” We have beer in the fridge, a frequently used table tennis table and no dress code. Most of the employees are men in their mid-20s, so shorts and a T-shirt is the go-to work look for them. As a woman, I feel like I would look silly if I started wearing dresses and more formal wear to the office even though I want to, since I usually have plans after work. I don't want to look stuffy at work, but I don't want to look like a slob when I'm out with my friends. Is there any in-between? -- No Tees in the Bar, New York City

DEAR NO TEES IN THE BAR: Get creative. You can develop a personal style that stays casual but is more dressed up than the average guy at your office. Look around. There’s bound to be someone who dresses a notch above the norm. You can also choose to dress up on occasion when you have after-work events. If somebody ribs you, tell them you have an event to attend and leave it at that. You can also bring a change of clothes to work and slip into your dress just before you head out. Most important is for you to feel confident in your appearance and clear that you can make personal choices that extend beyond the casual norm.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew is in town visiting with some of his high school buddies. We agreed that he would come to dinner with my family and me one evening.

As I was preparing for him, he called to ask if he could bring his group of five to the dinner with him. I planned a small meal for four people, not for a group of nine. I hated to tell him no, but I was not prepared to accommodate everyone. I also didn’t appreciate him springing that on me at the last minute. Had we made such a plan, I could have purchased enough food and hosted them all. In the end, my nephew did not come to dinner with us as he wanted to stay with his friends. I saw him the next day briefly before he headed out of town.

How can I address this with my nephew so that he understands I did not mean to reject his friends, but he did not handle his request to me well at all? -- Crasher, Cincinnati

DEAR CRASHER: Feel free to follow up with your nephew by phone. Check in with him to learn how he enjoyed his trip. Express your disappointment that you did not get to see him for a longer period of time. Then tell him that you wish he had been straightforward about wanting to bring his friends to dinner in a timely fashion. Explain that you would have hosted them given ample time, but you literally did not have enough food for all of them with last-minute notice. Tell your nephew that the poor timing of his request made for an awkward situation for everyone. Ask him to plan ahead in the future. It will help to clear the way for a great experience for everyone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to visit my family recently, and I was shocked to see how much weight my brother has gained. I want to say that he is probably 50 pounds bigger than he was last year. Naturally, he seems to be uncomfortable in his skin. His clothes don’t fit. He’s a mess. I know he is an adult, but he’s my brother. I feel like I should say something, but I don’t know what to say so that I don’t hurt his feelings. -- Big Brother, Boston

DEAR BIG BROTHER: Too bad you didn’t talk when you were face to face. The next best thing is to call him. Tell him you want to speak to him about a sensitive subject. Ask for his permission to proceed. Then tell your brother that you are concerned about him. Reveal that you noticed that he has gained a lot of weight since you last saw each other and that you are worried, given how quickly he put it on. Ask him what happened. Find out how he is feeling. Even if he is unwilling to talk about his weight, you can also encourage him to get a physical to ensure that he has no major health issues.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)