DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working freelance for the past 10 years or so, and it has been a rocky road. Sometimes I’ve had great contracts. Other times, not so much. This year has been especially tough, and I am broke. Really broke. I have credit card debt, and I feel like my whole world is collapsing on me. What I have done is not good, I’m sure. I have stopped answering the phone, and I see my credit score plummeting. I don’t know what to do. I am looking for work, but without some projects, I do not have the money to pay my bills. -- Up Against the Wall, Pittsburgh

DEAR UP AGAINST THE WALL: As hard as it may seem right now, the best thing for you to do is to be upfront with your creditors. Contact each one directly, and explain your situation. Ask for leniency. Promise to pay them something the moment income begins to flow again. Ask if they would be willing to suspend late fees and negative reporting to the credit card bureaus for a couple of months while you search for work. Since the credit card company's job is to recoup its money, it will likely try to work with you. Getting some (or ideally, all) of its money back over time is its goal. Generally, if you approach the company with a positive attitude, you will get some kind of support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been getting my hair dyed for about 15 years now. Like other women in my family, I went gray prematurely. I have gone to several salons over the years and have often gotten some wacky colors. I haven’t been to a salon in months, as my funds are low, and my roots are beginning to give away my silver secrets. I don’t think I can get a discount from my hair dresser, and I don’t want to go natural yet. Do you think those “paint in the roots” products work? -- Silver Secrets, Tacoma, Washington

DEAR SILVER SECRETS: How much gray hair is showing will determine whether those spot root treatments are worth it. What seems more fitting is for you to go to the beauty supply store and purchase hair dye in the color you feel you want to wear today. Then go home and follow the directions to dye your hair yourself. This may seem scary at first, especially if you have never done it before, but you can do it. Thousands of women do so all the time.

Just make sure that you clean the area you will be using for the dying. Use gloves so you do not stain your hands. Take your time. For a boost of moral support, ask a trusted friend to help you -- especially if that person has ever dyed her hair before. You can do it if you take your time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The way I grew up, the only grade my father considered worth getting was an A. He thought getting 100 on a test was the only acceptable score. While I was an A student, I found it extremely stressful to try to live up to his expectations. That’s why when I had my daughter, I decided not to put that same kind of pressure on her. I expect her to do well, but I do not enforce strict rules about grades.

My daughter recently got her report card, and she got all A's (A, A-plus and A-minus), plus one B. My husband was livid that she hadn’t received all A’s. Further, he told me that my father would never accept a B. We got into an argument about this. Sure, that was my father’s way, but what I know is that my daughter tried really hard and did the best she could in this particular subject. A B is not a bad grade in my book.

I tried to calm down my husband and let him know that I will make sure our daughter knows to always do her best, but I don’t want him dashing her confidence by telling her it’s A or nothing. What should I do? -- A or the Highway, Denver

DEAR A OR THE HIGHWAY: You and your husband must come to an agreement on how and what you will say to your daughter about her education and her grades. She should not have to hear the two of you arguing about her grades, nor should she feel conflicted over the way that her parents regard her scores. Talk it out. Do your best to get your husband to agree to be a cheerleader for your daughter in the sense that you both should be actively encouraging her to study and apply what she learns in the best possible ways. If she needs help, get it for her. Talk to her teachers to learn what support the school offers so that she can improve her grades where needed. Work as a team.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a junior in college. He has just come home for the summer, and I see that he has picked up some bad habits. He used to keep his room tidy and help out around the house. Now, he sleeps late, doesn’t tidy at all and is generally kind of grumpy. I’m worried that something happened while he was away at school that has changed his outlook on life. I’m not sure how to get him to open up, though. As children grow up, they rarely want to talk about what’s really going on. What can I do? -- Worried, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR WORRIED: Start by talking to your son over a meal. Ask him how he’s doing and how the school year went for him. Gently probe to learn if he met any new friends, or if there is a special someone in his life. You may need a few of these conversations before you get any leads.

Meanwhile, remind him of the things you expect him to do at home. He hasn’t lived there for a while, so a refresher may be needed. Ease into living together again as the summer unfolds.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 9-year-old daughter is going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer, and I am a basket of nerves. She is quite independent for her age, and we have gotten excellent reports about the camp. I’m not worried about her safety. I just know how much I’m going to miss her. The most time we have spent apart from each other is a week when I had to go on a trip for work. The camp allows parents to call children only once a week. How can I stay calm when I am going to be separated from my baby for two whole weeks? I’m already driving my husband crazy just thinking about it. -- Separation Anxiety, Alexandria, Virginia

DEAR SEPARATION ANXIETY: Most camps allow parents to send items to children during their stay. You can spend some of your time planning fun gifts to send. Don’t go overboard, though. This is your daughter’s time to begin to explore her independence within a safe environment. You need to trust that she will be OK.

Focus on yourself and tasks you want to accomplish at home and at work. Include your husband as a top priority! What are some of the things that you two enjoy doing but rarely have the time for anymore? Dinner dates? Visits with friends? Road trips? Breakfast in bed on the weekend? Think of ways that you can grow closer to your husband during this two-week period. If you two start enjoying each other’s company more, the time will zip by, and your daughter will be back before you know it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine is retiring from more than 30 years on the job. It was his choice to retire. He said he wanted to leave while they still wanted him to stay rather than staying beyond his welcome. He seems ready on one hand, but sad on the other. He is a teacher, and I know he is going to miss interacting with his students on a daily basis. I want to do something special for him after he retires, but he is a private person. What can I suggest that won’t seem like an imposition? We have been friends for a long time, but this is a new situation. -- Retiring, Scarsdale, New York

DEAR RETIRING: Think about what your friend enjoys. If going to fun restaurants is his style, invite him to go with you to a place that may be a new discovery for him. Look in the local newspaper as well as those in New York City to find out about cultural events going on each week and weekend. Often, these activities are free to the public.

In addition to outings, you can simply call to touch base. Check in to see how he’s doing, and ask occasionally if he would like to hang out. He must get acclimated to his new life and figure out a rhythm that works for him. You can support that, but ultimately it is his responsibility to learn how to fill his time differently.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)